30/03/2026
TW - Pregnancy ⚠️.
Ok strap in guys this is a LONG one.
So I am sure many of you know mine and Jed A. Mclean 's long infertility journey . Over almost 6 years we have had multiple miscarriages , ectopic pregnancy , unknown location implantations , failed IVF. It felt like we had won like a really terrible game of BINGO on the how many types of loss can you have game.
When we had our round of IVF in 2023 we were told it was total fertilisation failure which would most likely be due to egg quality , even though they got 5 little eggies. We had loads of tests and on consultation the clinic told us that donor egg round would be the way forward - which was 16k. Wild.
Me and Jed were lucky enough to have such a supportive group of friends who helped us raise some money towards this but we decided that it just wasnt a route we wanted to go down , so I used the money and booked in at Harley Street Fertility Clinic and was recommended red light laser therapy and a procedure to increase blood flow and help egg quality.
After this I had another miscarriage ( chemical... BINGO CARD STAMP ) and then we spent the longest time processing , grieving and working out what our life would look like without children. We worked HARD to get to a point where babies and pregnant people were not immediately triggering.
I've lost old friends and made new ones along the journey because no one truly understands the loss and grief of infertility unless you have traversed it and that is something I truly believe.
So fast forward almost 3 years and I thought lets have a foal , if we can't have a human baby I'll live vicariously through my horse , who wouldn't!
So I bought a broodmare , chose a stallion and the little / medium bundle with 4 legs is due in a month. Absolutely grand. So exciting. 🐎
Well ...... the universe decided it had other plans. Thanks universe for the heads up.
So I have written this post to announce this piece of news tentatively and also scream for advice and help simultaneously.. .
Here's to Baby Rainbow McLean due September 2026. Yes a real actual human baby.....
Behold : Baby 👶.
And secondly how did people manage their horses on maternity pay because I feel I'm going to have to make a very tricky choice on a foal I've just bred! So any ideas would be grand.
From a very anxious , nauseous , exhausted and also extremely blown away human growing a little miracle 🌈
Also to note thanks to my mum who has been a rock so far in every single time I have a daily mental breakdown at the moment over herbs , horses and humans , she's made me laugh.
Also as we have had NO time to prepare for maternity leave as this has been as far from planned a possibly. Yes I am using this as shameless plug for some support .... please check out my workbooks over at www.equimotional.com/shop.