Yorkshire Counselling Services

09/11/2025

09/11/2025

03/11/2025

From psychoanalysis to existential therapy, there’s a bewildering variety of approaches – with one thing in common

27/10/2025

🌿 New Community Wellbeing Hub Opens in York! 🌿
We’re excited to share that the Yor Community Wellbeing Hub is now open in Acomb Garth, offering local, compassionate mental health and wellbeing support for adults aged 18+.
🕒 Opening Hours:

Mon–Tue: 9am–5pm
Wed–Sat: 8am–8pm

💬 Drop in for a listening ear, access to support, and a calm, welcoming space—right in the heart of your community.
This hub is part of the Connecting Our City programme and brings together NHS, council, and voluntary services under one roof.
📍 No need to travel across the city—support is now closer than ever.
Learn more 👉 york.gov.uk/news/article/1774/new-community-wellbeing-hub-opens-in-york

25/10/2025

4 Cognitive Reframing Questions to Calm Your Anxious Brain 💭

Anxiety has a way of convincing us that every uncomfortable thought is a fact — that every “what if” is a warning and every unknown is a threat. It whispers fear into our quiet moments, turning small worries into heavy storms. But what if we told you that your anxious brain isn’t broken — it’s just trying to protect you, even if it’s using the wrong tools?

That’s where cognitive reframing comes in. It’s not about forcing yourself to “think positive.” It’s about learning to question the stories your anxiety tells you, one thought at a time. When your mind starts spinning, these four simple but powerful questions can help bring you back to balance, compassion, and clarity.

Let’s walk through them together. 🌿

1️⃣ Is this thought 100% true?

When anxiety hits, our minds often present possibilities as proof.
You think, “They didn’t text back — I must’ve done something wrong.”
Or, “If I make a mistake, everyone will think I’m a failure.”

In those moments, our brains aren’t looking for truth — they’re looking for safety. Anxiety’s main goal is to prepare us for danger, but sometimes it ends up inventing it.

So pause. Ask yourself gently:
“Is this a fact… or just fear talking?”

Most of the time, it’s the latter. You might notice that what feels certain is actually just a story you’ve told yourself to make sense of uncertainty. And when you realize that, the thought loses its grip.

You start to breathe again.
You start to see space between what’s real and what’s reactive.
That space is where calm begins.

2️⃣ What evidence do I have for or against this?

An anxious brain doesn’t always use logic — it uses imagination. It paints vivid pictures of everything that could go wrong, but rarely shows you the evidence that you’ve handled hard things before.

When you ask, “What proof do I have that this thought is true?” you shift from panic to perspective.

For example:
Your brain says, “I’m going to fail this presentation.”
You ask, “What evidence supports that?”

Maybe you remember that you’ve successfully presented before. Or that you prepared. Or that even if you stumble, people will still listen.

Our brains collect fearful memories far more vividly than neutral or positive ones. It’s part of survival instinct. But when you pause to gather real evidence — not imagined fear — you start building a counterbalance to anxiety’s narrative.

And little by little, your nervous system begins to trust you again.

3️⃣ Am I assuming the worst-case scenario?

Anxiety is a master storyteller.
It loves to jump to extremes — “If I’m late once, I’ll lose my job.”
“If I tell them how I feel, they’ll leave.”
“If I try something new, I’ll fail miserably.”

These thoughts drain your energy before anything even happens. You end up feeling defeated by something that only exists in your imagination.

But what if you flipped the script?
What if you asked, “What if things go okay?”
Or even, “What if I’m more capable than I think?”

That’s not denial. That’s perspective.

We catastrophize because we think it’ll soften the blow — “If I expect the worst, I won’t be disappointed.” But in truth, that mindset makes us live through pain twice: once in our imagination, and again if it actually happens.

Reframing isn’t pretending life will be perfect. It’s reminding yourself that you’ve survived every hard thing before this one. And you’ll get through this too.

4️⃣ What would I tell a friend in this situation?

This question might be the most healing of all.

Because you would never tell your best friend, “You’re probably going to fail.”
You wouldn’t tell them, “You’re too much,” or “You’ll mess it up again.”
So why do we say it to ourselves?

When you take your anxious thought and imagine saying it to someone you love, it exposes how harsh your inner voice can be. Then, imagine how you’d comfort that friend — with gentleness, logic, and kindness.

Now give yourself that same compassion.

Reframe the thought the way you’d support someone else:
“You’re trying your best.”
“You’ve done hard things before.”
“It’s okay to be scared and still move forward.”

You deserve that same grace. Always.

❤️ Bringing It All Together

These four questions may sound simple, but they are powerful tools of emotional regulation.
They teach your brain to pause before spiraling, to think before fearing, and to show yourself the compassion you’ve always given others.

When you use them consistently, you start noticing a shift. The noise in your mind gets quieter. Your body doesn’t react as strongly. You catch anxious thoughts mid-sentence and rewrite them before they turn into full-blown panic.

Because calming your anxious brain isn’t about suppressing your emotions — it’s about understanding them. It’s about giving your inner world a voice that is curious, not critical.

So the next time your mind starts racing, remember this gentle roadmap:
👉 Pause.
👉 Ask yourself these four questions.
👉 Breathe.
👉 Answer with truth, not fear.

Every time you do, you rewire your brain a little more toward calm.
You prove to yourself that you are not your thoughts — you’re the one observing them, challenging them, and choosing new ones.

Healing anxiety doesn’t happen overnight. But it begins with small, conscious shifts — one reframed thought at a time. 🌿

🕊️ Final Reminder

You are not weak for feeling anxious. You are not broken for overthinking.
Your brain learned to survive in chaos — and now, you’re teaching it how to feel safe again.

That’s what these four questions really are: small acts of self-rescue.
Little anchors you can reach for when the waves of anxiety rise.
And over time, those anchors become habits.
Those habits become healing.
And that healing becomes peace. 💛

24/10/2025

I have experienced safe therapy, and I have also experienced hugely unsafe, damaging therapy. When done well, it can be life-changing. When done badly, it can also be life-changing ... How can we ensure it's safe?

Read more: https://www.carolynspring.com/books

20/10/2025

Two Sides of High-Functioning ADHD

People often think that if someone is “high-functioning,” they must be doing fine.
They see the achievements, the creativity, the energy — and assume everything is under control.
But what most people don’t see is that high-functioning ADHD has two sides.

On the outside, it can look like success.
You meet deadlines (most of the time).
You handle responsibilities.
You show up for people.
You might even look confident, organized, and capable.

But inside, it’s a different story.
There’s often constant mental noise, racing thoughts, and pressure to keep up.
You may appear calm and collected, but behind that calm is exhaustion from trying to stay one step ahead of your own mind.

That’s one of the hardest parts of high-functioning ADHD — the invisible effort.
You’re constantly self-correcting, masking, and managing.
You build systems to stay on track, yet one small change can throw everything off.
And because you’re doing “well enough,” people assume you’re okay — so your struggles go unnoticed.

Let’s talk about these two sides a bit deeper:

🌟 The “High-Functioning” Side

This side is full of strengths: creativity, problem-solving, enthusiasm, and adaptability.
People with ADHD often think in unique ways that bring innovation and inspiration to everything they do.
They can hyperfocus — diving deep into projects for hours, creating incredible results.
They can be passionate, driven, funny, and full of ideas that light up a room.

But then comes the other side.

🌧 The Hidden Side

Behind that productivity is often mental exhaustion.
You might push yourself so hard just to appear “normal” that burnout becomes a regular part of life.
You might forget to eat, rest, or take breaks because your brain runs on urgency.
And when motivation disappears — which it often does — you feel guilty for slowing down.

The same mind that can hyperfocus for hours can also freeze for days.
The same person who seems organized at work may have laundry piled up at home.
The same person who helps everyone else might struggle to ask for help.

That’s the dual reality of high-functioning ADHD — success and struggle coexisting side by side.
You can be capable and overwhelmed.
Productive and exhausted.
Motivated and inconsistent.
It’s not contradiction — it’s just how ADHD works.

What helps the most is understanding and compassion — from others and from yourself.
You’re not lazy or careless. You’re navigating a brain that works differently.
You’re trying harder than people realize, even on your “good” days.

And if you ever feel like no one sees that invisible effort — remind yourself that doing your best, even quietly, is still something to be proud of.
You’re managing life with a brain that never stops moving, and that takes real strength.

High-functioning ADHD doesn’t mean it’s easy.
It means you’re doing your best to function in spite of the difficulty.
It means you’ve learned to adapt, to show up, and to keep going even when your mind feels chaotic.

So be proud of your progress.
Celebrate your energy and creativity.
And also — give yourself permission to rest, slow down, and be imperfect.

Because functioning highly doesn’t mean you have to function endlessly.
You deserve balance, not burnout.

19/10/2025

MASTER TIME MANAGEMENT:
Unlock 3 extra hours each day with simple, proven strategies to stay focused, organised & productive.

Here are 7 powerful techniques to help you take control of your time & energy:

1. Phone-Free Power Hour
– Start your day distraction-free.

2. The 2-Minute Rule
– Do it now if it takes less than 2 minutes.

3. Eat the Frog
– Tackle your toughest task first.

4. Pomodoro Technique
– Focus hard, then take short breaks.

5. 1-3-5 Rule
– One big, three medium, five small tasks a day.

6. Buffer Zone Method
– Add breaks between meetings.

7. 80/20 Rule
– Focus on the 20% that drives 80% of results.

17/10/2025

Beyond "Tantrums": Unpacking the Autistic Meltdown Trigger Wheel – A Guide to Understanding, Empathy, & Support 🤯

This incredible graphic, the "Autistic Meltdown Triggers Wheel" by Lil Penguin Studios, is a powerful and necessary tool for anyone seeking to understand the complex reality of Autistic meltdowns. It vividly illustrates that a meltdown is not a tantrum, a choice, or a sign of bad behavior. Instead, it's a profound physiological and psychological response to an accumulation of overwhelming stressors that push an Autistic individual past their capacity to cope.

For Autistic individuals, this wheel offers validation and a framework for self-understanding. For neurotypical allies, friends, and family, it's an essential guide to empathy, prevention, and effective support. Let’s break down these crucial trigger categories:

The Six Core Categories of Meltdown Triggers:

Sensory Issues:

The Experience: Many Autistic individuals have heightened (hypersensitivity) or diminished (hyposensitivity) responses to sensory input. This wheel highlights common culprits: Uncomfortable lights (fluorescent, flickering), noise & sounds (loud, sudden, repetitive, too many conversations), specific colors, smells, physical touch (unwanted, unexpected, certain textures), and itchy clothes (tags, seams, fabrics).

Why It Triggers: What might be a minor annoyance for a neurotypical person can be physically painful or deeply dysregulating for an Autistic person. A constant barrage of overwhelming sensory input builds up, chipping away at their ability to function until they reach a breaking point. Imagine trying to concentrate while someone scrapes their nails down a blackboard repeatedly – that’s a fraction of what sustained sensory overload can feel like.

Too Many/Much...

The Experience: This category speaks to cognitive and social overwhelm. It includes uncomfortable interactions (forced eye contact, small talk, social ambiguity), instructions (too many, unclear, rapid-fire), information (too much, too fast, too complex), thoughts (ruminating, racing), social confusion (misunderstanding social cues, unspoken rules), and waiting (especially without warning or explanation, disrupting executive function and routine).

Why It Triggers: The Autistic brain often processes information differently, sometimes more deeply or literally, and can struggle with filtering irrelevant data. Too much of anything – social demands, cognitive load, or uncertainty – can quickly deplete mental resources and lead to shutdown or meltdown. Waiting, for instance, can be profoundly unsettling due to the unpredictability and lack of control it implies.

Autistic Masking:

The Experience: This refers to the exhausting process of consciously or unconsciously suppressing natural Autistic traits and behaviors to appear "neurotypical" or to fit into social norms. Triggers here include unclear expectations, fear of judgment, excessive self-monitoring (constantly policing one's own words, gestures, expressions), and repressing stimming (suppressing self-regulatory behaviors like fidgeting, rocking, or repetitive movements).

Why It Triggers: Masking is a performance, a constant mental effort that drains cognitive and emotional energy. It requires immense focus and self-control. When someone is forced to mask for extended periods, their internal battery rapidly depletes, making them far more vulnerable to a meltdown when even a small additional stressor arises. Repressing natural stims, which are essential for self-regulation, only compounds this stress.

Other:

The Experience: This captures a range of physiological and situational factors including sleep problems, allergies, co-occurring conditions (e.g., anxiety, depression, GI issues, ADHD), medical issues, and traumas.

Why It Triggers: These are foundational stressors. Poor sleep, chronic pain, untreated medical conditions, or the lasting impact of trauma all reduce an individual's baseline capacity to cope. They create a constant underlying current of stress, making the individual highly susceptible to meltdown even from minor additional triggers. This highlights the holistic nature of well-being for Autistic individuals.

Change:

The Experience: This category speaks to the Autistic brain's strong preference for predictability and routine. Triggers include change in routine, unfamiliar situations, new places, new people, and inconsistency.

Why It Triggers: Predictability provides a sense of safety and control, reducing cognitive load. Change, even positive change, disrupts established patterns, introduces uncertainty, and demands significant mental effort to re-regulate and adapt. This can be profoundly unsettling and taxing, leading to heightened anxiety that can build into a meltdown. Inconsistency, like broken promises or unclear expectations, also falls under this, as it erodes trust in predictability.

Not Being Able to Identify/Communicate...

The Experience: This is a core challenge often linked to alexithymia (difficulty identifying and describing emotions) or verbal processing delays. Triggers include feelings & emotions (being overwhelmed by them without being able to name or express them), hunger & thirst, exhaustion, being cold/hot, pain, being mistreated, and self-gaslighting ("I shouldn't be feeling this," "I'm overreacting").

Why It Triggers: When basic internal states (like pain or hunger) or complex emotions cannot be effectively identified or communicated, it creates intense internal pressure and frustration. It's like a warning light flashing in the brain, but the user manual is missing. This profound dysregulation and inability to seek help or articulate needs can quickly escalate to a meltdown as the system overloads. Self-gaslighting compounds this by invalidating one's own legitimate feelings and needs.

The Path to Support and Prevention:

This wheel isn't just about identifying triggers; it's about empowering proactive strategies:

Self-Awareness: For Autistic individuals, understanding your personal triggers is key to self-advocacy and developing coping mechanisms.

Environmental Adjustments: For allies, modifying environments (sensory-friendly spaces, clear communication, predictable routines) can significantly reduce triggers.

Communication: Encouraging and supporting diverse forms of communication (verbal, non-verbal, AAC) for expressing needs and overwhelm is vital.

Validation: Believing and validating an Autistic person's experience, especially when they express distress, is paramount.

This "Autistic Meltdown Triggers Wheel" is a masterclass in empathy and a powerful call to move beyond judgment towards genuine understanding and support. A meltdown is a sign of immense distress, not defiance. By understanding these triggers, we can all contribute to creating a more inclusive and less overwhelming world for Autistic individuals.

Which of these triggers resonates most with you or someone you know? Share your insights and help us spread understanding!