Sacred Grieving

15/11/2023

Give yourself so much permission to rest that the very love within this simple act melts your heart open and sets your grief free.

The grief you resist, fight against, build up so much tension in your body and heart in order to not feel.

Soften.

Open your heart to yourself, give your mind some time off from figuring your way out of the grief, analyzing it or negotiating with reality so as to not feel the deep tenderness of what it is to be human, to be you and all you've loved and overcome.

Let this space of rest, this space to grieve be such a radical act of loving kindness towards your psyche.

Let yourself miss what you miss,
long for what you long for,
want what you want,
desire what you desire.

Even if it is gone.
Even if it never was.
Even if its over.
Even if its not requited.
Even if its not possible.

Stop fighting against what is longing to break through, to erupt as a holy channel of something far greater than you beckoning you home.

To yourself.

Made new, in the fire of your loving.

Lay down the defenses, tuck the to-do list away, relax the need to be busy, whisper to the mind that it is safe to not know for a while.

In your restful softening, let the tears wash over you, releasing the stronghold of eons of conditioned resistance that's been keeping so much pain in, while protecting you from your own love.

It's in all the ways we fight the alchemy of the heart that we create tension, dis-ease and self-doubt.

We love, we long, we grieve, we pray, we remember, we emerge...for a reason.

We are not designed to become enemies of ourselves.

When our hearts are in pain, we need our own love, not our endless analysis, the most.

Let the resting be so deeply loving to the animal of your body that it becomes safe for your heart to unwind.

Let the loving be a refuge that carries your grief.

Let the grieving liberate the wisdom of your heart.

Let the wisdom of your heart illuminate the gifts you will take with you.

Let the gifts you take with you become the building blocks of yet another beautiful emergence.

More love,
not less.
~Mia Hetenyi~

Photo via Pinterest

Archaeology for the Woman's Soul

11/11/2023

08/11/2023

"A magnificent killer whale named Tahlequah
gave birth and caught the world’s attention.

Her calf died only thirty minutes after being born, each of those blessed minutes a sacrament to the progeny of love.

But the real reason journalists and photographers and millions of viewers followed this mother’s story, was her willingness to grieve unbidden, to become a thing utterly governed by kinship.

After a year and a half of growing this enormous life inside of her belly, and the immense feat of labor, and a half an hour of looking into one another’s eyes, Tahlequah proceeded to carry her dead baby on the tip of her nose for seventeen days, traveling more than a thousand miles all throughout the Salish Sea.

And some people think that grief is not
inexplicably beautiful. But perhaps it’s because those people (who are us people) no longer see grieving enacted publicly as a plea for sanity, as a way of feeding that which grants us life.

There was no real grieving at my mother’s funeral––

sniffling and shoving tears back up into our eyes, yes, but no keening. No collapsing into the bottomless cavern of one another’s trembling arms, no crying out into the insufferable heat of that late-summer day, and certainly no carrying my mom’s dead body as a holy procession all throughout the places she ever knew and loved.

So I continued to carry her mostly on my own.

I wailed in the privacy of my own home long after the funeral was over, with only the hurting eyes of my husband to behold me––a kind of holding that was never meant to be done alone.

I imagine that if killer whales were not endangered, Tahlequah would have swam those seventeen days with a grand procession of many other glistening, black and white giants all across the ocean.

Or perhaps she swam for one thousand miles
to personify the loneliness of her grief in a world spiraling toward oblivion.

And our savagery for not swimming alongside her; for taking pictures, for watching her exquisite ceremony on our little screens as if it were pure entertainment, as if that couldn’t be any one of us, carrying our dead children out into the dark and emptied streets."

From ‘The Progeny of Love' by April Tierney, Artwork by Lori Christopher 🐋

26/10/2023

"Grief is subversive, undermining the quiet agreement to behave and be in control of our emotions. It is an act of protest that declares our refusal to live numb and small. There is something feral about grief, something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviors of our culture. Because of that, grief is necessary to the vitality of the soul. Contrary to our fears, grief is suffused with life-force.... It is not a state of deadness or emotional flatness. Grief is alive, wild, untamed and cannot be domesticated. It resists the demands to remain passive and still. We move in jangled, unsettled, and riotous ways when grief takes hold of us. It is truly an emotion that rises from the soul."

Francis Weller

22/10/2023

"Once people are not here physically, the spiritual remains, we still connect, we can communicate, we can give and receive love and forgiveness. There is love after someone dies."
— Sandra Cisneros

Art: Nite and Day Procession by Evangelina Portillo. Click on the image to see the entire painting.

***os ***osTradition

08/10/2023

Lee Harris speaks to the theme of grief, death and loss at this time, in October’s Energy Update …

Join Lee for the Live Premiere of the October !

05/10/2023

Dia de Mu***os, Day of the Dead, the beautiful honoring of our ancestors is nearing, and as I do every year, I am sharing my reflection on Mexican Dia de Mu***os.

Leading up to the days of remembrance and celebration, I will share some of my previous DDM posts to help followers of this page better understand and prepare for these holy days. You are invited to look at previous years’ DDM posts for information I might not share this year.

I share this reflection because observance of Dia de Mu***os, which is held throughout Mexico, is being increasingly adopted by people of other ethnicities and backgrounds who lacking a ritual of their own have found in our Dia de Mu***os a heart home where they can honor their ancestors and other loved ones who have crossed over.

While we are happy to share our beautiful ritual, Dia de Mu***os must be treated with respect, reverence, lightness of spirit, and an understanding that Dia de Mu***os is not Halloween but a remembering and sacred witnessing of the joys and sorrows of our ancestors, and a celebration of the strength of spirit of we, their descendants, to preserve the soul of this pre-European contact tradition.

As a result of the European/Spanish invasion, forced conversion to Christianity (Catholicism in particular), and ongoing colonization of what today is known as Mexico, Dia de Mu***os now takes place on November 1 and 2, having merged with the Catholic All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day.

Typically, November 1 is to honor children and infants, known as Día de los Angelitos (Day of the Little Angels). November 2nd honors adults and is known as Día de Mu***os.

Indigenous peoples in Mexico (and in other countries in what is now the Americas, where Indigenous people’s traditional territory extends beyond contemporary borders, such as our Maya relatives) have been holding these celebrations for 3,000 years. In 2003, UNESCO proclaimed Mexico’s Dia de Mu***os Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity.

Before Mexico’s invasion by Spaniards, these holy days for the Mexika (Aztec) took place in the month that approximates today’s August/September. They were celebrated for an entire month: the first half of the month as Miccailhuitontli, the feast of deceased children, and the latter half as Huey Miccailhuitontli, or Feast to the Greatly Revered Deceased (adults). Some say the festivities were dedicated to Mictecacihuatl known as the "Lady of the Dead," and that she corresponds to the modern-day Catrina, today's iconic character created in 1910 by famous Mexican printmaker and illustrator José Guadalupe Posada. Although it is possible that Mictlancihuatl was his inspiration, no one really knows, and La Catrina has her own interesting story as a truth-teller and social justice warrior.

It's important to note that there are regional differences as to how it is celebrated and that how it is observed is influenced by a family's religion or tribe-specific history and customs. For example, Yaquis begin their culture-specific Animam Mikwame Taiwae, Dia de Mu***os, observances on October 1st.

In my circle of family, friends, and community, we prepare for weeks to properly host relatives who have walked on before us: our tatas, nanas, tias, and tios, and other relatives who will return to this realm to visit us during Dia de Mu***os. As you begin your preparations, please source your Day of the Dead items from Mexican artists, bakers, and artisans.

If you are responsible for putting together a Dia de Mu***os educational program or special event, please do your best to consult with and employ Mexican/ Indigenous people rather than someone who is not part of our culture and community -- and consider giving back to our community in tangible ways as a way of showing your appreciation for us sharing our culture, food, music, and spiritual traditions.

For many, Day of the Dead celebrations begin on October 31st, the night Mexicans remember deceased children, while the night from the 1st to the 2nd is dedicated to the adult dead. A pathway of brilliant marigold flowers will guide them to our home to enjoy some time with us, within whose hearts they yet live. They'll be knocking at midnight, looking at their photos on our altar, smelling the aroma of their favorite food, and cleansing themselves with the smoke of copal incense.

We build ofrendas (altars) to their memory at home and sometimes in public places. Some altares are simple and some are elaborate. Often, we hold vigils at the cemetery, taking our time to lovingly clean headstones, place candles and bouquets of cempaxochitl (Aztec marigolds) on graves, toys for children, delicious pan de mu**to, tamales, drinks, and incense burners filled with fragrant copal. It is not uncommon for us to take lawn chairs to the cemetery and sit for hours, sometimes all night, recounting favorite anecdotes and memories of special days gone by. We might hire a small Norteño or mariachi to play favorite songs that our beloveds enjoyed when alive. It's both a sad and joyful time as we pray, sing, laugh, and reminisce.

In the days leading up to Dia de Mu***os, I will be posting photographs, videos, and articles on Mexican Dia de los Mu***os and hope that what is shared helps you celebrate the life of your loved ones while at the same time respectfully preserving and honoring this important tradition that is the religious and cultural legacy of the ancestors of Mexihca, Maya, Tlaxcaltec, Chichimec, and other Native peoples of what is today known as Mexico, as well as Indigenous traditional territories that today may overlap adjoining countries.

With respect, I ask that you please keep in mind that Mexican Dia de Mu***os is rooted in culture-specific spiritual/religious observances.

I realize that there are other countries (e.g., China and Celtic, among others) that observe what may appear, on the surface, to be a similar custom. Still, those observances do not have the same origin and unique expression as ours. Used out of that context, as in dressing up as La Catrina for a summer or winter solstice celebration or other non-Dia De Mu**to event, could be considered disrespectful, especially when done by someone not a member of the Mexican / Indigenous community. By this, I mean taking one or more elements of this cultural-spiritual ritual and using them in a different context than for which it was intended.

When changes are made arbitrarily to a tradition, or worse, it is misappropriated, those changes begin to erode its power and its beauty. The same power and beauty that first drew you to it. Help protect this sacred observance.

As neither forthcoming posts nor this one are meant to be scholarly articles, please understand that not every detail or aspect of Dia de Mu***os is addressed. I encourage you to empower yourself by researching your family stories and delving more deeply into the origins and history of Dia de Mu***os.

Con respeto y aprecio,
Maestra Grace Sesma
Curanderismo, the Healing Art of Mexico

Artist: Rick Ortega, https://rickortegaart.com

***os ***os

03/10/2023

Death is not the end …

To care for the Soul of your Deceased Loved One, click the link in the comments 🖤

02/10/2023

Greetings Dear Ones,

This year has been a year full of Death for me, either directly or indirectly.

It started on New Year's Eve with a very good friend of mine having a bizarre and tragic accident in her home where two of her friends died due to a carbon monoxide leak in the shower, while they were getting ready to go out for the New Year's Eve festivities.

Then my soul-mate, long-term partner (but at that point separated) and father of my 3 children committed su***de in February.

In July, my Aunt died, for no apparent reason, in her sleep.

And last week, my Mum's cousin, a relative that I didn't know at all, died after a long illness.

In all of these situations, I made sure that the Soul's of the Deceased, three of them my own Ancestors through blood or bonding, were brought to Peace and crossed over to the Light.

I have worked in a professional capacity around Death and the Dead for a number of years now, mostly assisting my Living Clients to transition Spirits of the Dead from their homes and bodily energy fields, to the Light. I refer to these Shamanic/Spiritual practises as Space Clearing and Compassionate De-Possession.

I have also helped my Clients through their own grieving processes, from a Shamanic perspective, helping them come to peace with the loss of their Loved Ones, helping them to let go of them, and then assisting their Loved Ones to cross over to the Light.

But it hasn't been until this year, that Death has come to me in such a consistent way, up close and personal, throughout the entire year.

This has given me an opportunity to experience my own practise from the perspective of the one grieving the loss, or by supporting my nearest and dearest in their own grief processes.

And this very personal journey has allowed me to understand from a much deeper perspective my own professional practise around this Sacred Rite of Passage of Death, for both the Living as well as the Deceased, using Shamanic wisdom and practises around the mechanics and care of the Soul.

And so, as my Shamanic Spiritual Guides have been gently but consistently nudging me along this path this year, I am now stepping fully into the mantle of 'Death Witch', which may sound a little intimidating, but it is the identity that I seem to align with most!

Others in this spiritual capacity sometimes refer to themselves as Soul Midwives.

Either way, we are the ones who assist the Soul's of the Living and the Dead to Transition through this deeply profound Rite of Passage with Compassion, Love and Grace.

It is also not escaping my attention that there seems to be a significant increase in Soul's leaving this Earthly plane this year. I have seen many more Death notifications on Social Media this year than 'normal'. Many of these have been unusual or unexpected Deaths, and unfortunately many su***des.

Whatever the reason for this increase in our experiences of Death and Grief, the consistent message that keeps coming up for me around this theme is that we need to remember and re-learn the old practises around Death, the ancient ways of caring for the Soul's of the Dead, as well as the Soul's of those they leave behind - us, the Living.

When we engage with Death and Grief in a Sacred way, we find ourselves coming back into better relationship with Death, and in turn remembering how to Live with greater appreciation for all that Life gives us while we are alive.

We also bring ourselves into better relationship with our own Deceased Relations, our Beloved Ancestors, healing them as well as our own Living families as we do so.

This is a win-win situation for all of us, healing inter-generational trauma, as well as bringing forward the Ancestral Legacies that are held within our Ancestral Lineages, the Knowledge, Wisdom, Power and Protection offered by those who came before us.

To find out more about my work with these Sacred Rites of Passage Through Death,

CLICK THE LINK IN THE COMMENTS

Blessings to you all, especially those of you dealing with your own losses at this time.

Much Love,

Jo xx

PS. Please share with anyone you think may benefit from this post.

Thank you 🙏 ❤️

29/09/2023

On those days when you miss someone the most, as though your memories are sharp enough to slice through skin and bone, remember how they loved you.

Remember how they loved you and do that, for yourself.

In their name, in their honour.

Love yourself, as they loved you.

They would like that.

On those days when you miss someone the most,

love yourself harder.

~ Donna Ashworth: https://donnaashworth.com/

[Art: Tijana Lukovic: https://www.tijanadraws.com ]

28/09/2023

In the Lakota tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most wakan, most holy.
There's a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help.
You might recall what it's like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person's eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.