04/11/2025
Can anyone else relate or have I made it too niche? 😂😂😅😅
End of 2024 was ROUGH for me - I’ll be opening up about it on being released soon.
2024 was also an incredibly active year - and I achieved to many incredible accomplishments that I never thought I’d ever do (boxing fight was the scariest thing I’ve ever done 😂🥲)
I don’t regret doing them but I do regret the timeline I put myself through, because I’d never advise it for anyone else 😂😎😅
I was in a high stress, high pressure state constantly - it was addicting. When one event would end, I’d sign up to the next. I constantly felt not enough in my work, so proving myself physically was the only way I subconsciously could prove that I WAS enough.
From the outside, you may not of noticed & in Bali - the go getter attitude is EASY to come across as motivating instead of what it actually was: me distracting myself with physical stress to make the life stress easier to deal with.
I see this version in me every day in Canggu & I don’t judge, because I understand. And when I was in that place, whenever I felt like I was being judged or ‘controlled’ well… I’d just go for a run 😂 or do exactly what I was being told not to do (another fitness event hehe 😇)
But this year, I can see in hindsight how my actions have impacted my period recovery this year & contributed to a total emotional mess at the end of last year.
I have all the time in the world to do all the events, so do you. There’s no rush on peaking your physical performance, especially if you have a lot of stress and pressure around you - but there is a severe negative side effect of trying to do all the things, all at once - especially when life around you isn’t slowing down.
I’m lucky my physical body is robust and resilient - no injuries or fractures - but things that did suffer was my sleep, my mental health, my relationship with myself & others, my fertility & future fertility, my digestion.
If I had a piece of advise for my 2024 self it would be this: prioritise having hard conversations as much as you prioritise doing hard things.
Maybe you need to hear that now too 🫶
