02/03/2020
Beautiful post...had to share
This is so true, I had no idea. There’s no ‘getting back to your old self’ as your self is changed irrevocably ❤️
RePosted •
I felt awkward,
the first time i held you
i couldn't quite feel it yet,
myself as a mother
so i acted out the motions
to which they all replied 'she's a natural'
but I felt nothing of the sort
but i felt more awkward
when i met with old friends
because they didn't quite get it yet,
me as a mother
and what seemed simple,
now was complicated,
but only for me,
and I just couldn't laugh with them like i used to
but as time went on,
the person i felt closest to
was the one who was also born that day,
who knew how to gently stroke your hair
who instinctively reached for you, before you even fully woke.
the one who knew that if you had the hiccups, it was because you were about to get a tooth
or that you preferred to be rocked both forward and back AND side to side, at the same time, in a figure 8 motion that, despite coaching, no one else could master
i grew to love her,
this new self.
she became me.
and soon, i couldn't find her anymore,
the old one.
the one who was always ready to go,
who showed up, who told jokes,
who planned, and made things beautiful, just because
she was still there,
doing all these things
but differently.
i only miss her a little,
mostly when you're asleep.
but i never miss her when i remember what i have that she didnt know she was missing
and now, im walking upstairs
to bring you a glass of water
because I hear you stirring.
and the person i am now
(who i was always meant to become)
knows that soon, you'll call out my name.
mom, you'll say, can I have some water
but I'll already be right there.
because i know you, and now,
I know me more, too.💜
