Boost My Potential - My Positivity Coach, Bettystown (2025)

Training & coaching in communication, empowerment, mindfulness and stress management

28/11/2017

Need help with anxiety today? Try this powerful 6 step coaching method
Part 2: Decluttering our thoughts & Freedom from anxiety: Changing our reality with a powerful 6 step coaching technique
Ready for freedom from anxiety?
Want to get on with life?
Willing to become unstuck and take back control?
In my previous article on anxiety, I explained step one of the method that I designed for my clients. Just to recap, step one is taking some time out to look into ourselves, to listen to our thoughts, to see what is going on in this busy head. I recommended buying a nice hardback notebook to record these thoughts. We can also use the voice recorder on your smartphone for those who are not fans of writing. It doesn’t matter how we record these thoughts, the important thing is to do it. The fact of making a voice recording or writing down what we worry about on a typical day, what brings up our anxiety, is in itself 50% of the work done. We have, through this, become conscious of our thought processes and that in itself will start to bring about change in our life. So let’s move on to step 2.
Step 2
Now let’s take a look at our life as a whole, in all its different aspects. At this stage, we can jot down in our notebook the following domains or aspects of our lives. Here are the main ones:
Physical body & health
Relationships (friends, colleagues, extended family)
Love life
Family life (family, if you don’t have children, parents and siblings)
Professional life/career
Finances
Time management
Spiritual life (this is not necessarily religion, it’s more how we celebrate life and give back to society)
So note down each category or aspect of our life and without judging ourselves, we give ourselves a mark out of 10 for each aspect. Remember the mark we give is based solely on how we feel about this aspect of our life. It is how we see ourselves and feel about this aspect, it is not what other people say or think about us. If we give ourselves a high mark, it means we have invested energy and time in this domain and are feeling confidant about it and in control. If we give ourselves a lower mark, which is ok, (it is just how things are for the moment), there is some inner resistance around this aspect and we may have neglected to work more on this through fear or lack of empowerment.
After we have given ourselves a mark for each domain, let's take a moment to honour ourselves for having the courage to go this far. Many people don’t want to see how they feel about the details of their lives. We, on the contrary, by doing this exercise are showing strength and facing our fears. Well done!
When we have finished this part, let's take some time now to look back over our notes we made previously. Try and see how these negative thoughts fit into the different aspects of our life. Is there a correlation between our negative thoughts and the mark we have gave ourselves in a particular domain? Over the coming days, check in with ourselves regularly and readjust our marks accordingly.
When we have finished this, we can decide on one aspect that we would like to work on and that will be our exercise for next week. Imagine someone has given him/herself a 4 out of 10 in time management, that might be a good place to start, as how we organise our time can bring about a lot of negative feelings of stress, of not being good enough, or in control, which increases anxiety greatly.

"I am doing great" The power of positive affirmations

Most people have heard of positive affirmations and their power to change how we feel. Clients often feel down after finishing this step, they look at the areas in their lives where they have given themselves a low mark and focus on that.
I would recommend that looking at the other aspects of our life where we gave ourselves a higher mark and take time to celebrate these achievements. Who is perfect in this world? We all choose to concentrate on certain aspects in life as they are more precious to us: bringing up children, having a good marriage, striving for a good career etc, we all focus on a few things, which is normal, we can’t be good at everything all of the time. So a positive affirmation we could use at this time to help us feel more balanced would be:
“I am doing the best I can and I honour myself for doing this important work”
I hope this helps, I look forward to talking to you or hearing from you over the coming weeks, I have offices in Laytown and Clontarf, we can also do skype sessions for those who live too far away. I feel life coaching is so precious because we are not always capable of being objective about ourselves or the lives that we lead. You may feel the need for help and advice in getting through this method. Looking from the outside in, without ever judging you or pushing you, I can help you gently regain balance in all aspects, allowing you to get back to enjoying life again and feeling in control.
Please feel free to leave a comment or get in touch. I’d be delighted to chat about how we can move forward together.
Elaine 087 066 8143

30/10/2017

Decluttering our thoughts & Freedom from anxiety: How changing the way we think can change our reality

Suffering from anxiety? Living in fear of the next panic attack or social event, or presentation?
Looking for relief from this constant feeling that it is not safe to be yourself?
Would you like to be able to enjoy life again?
Everyone who suffers with anxiety has a set of coping strategies to help deal with the situation where anxiety arises and takes hold. Coaching can help you find effective coping strategies but also identifying the core issues that will allow you to heal them quickly and gracefully.
Even if you’re not a particularly fearful person, you may still find this article helpful for stressful situations. In my coaching practise, I help people find greater freedom from anxiety through a 5 step coaching method based on introspection.
What does introspection mean?
It is simply the capacity to looks inwards, to have the honesty to see ourselves as we truly are and not who we think we are are (perceptions, beliefs) or would like to be. Introspection is not for everyone, a lot of people are not ready to look at themselves, because it may involve making some changes. People often think of changing as trying to improve their faults, but introspection is more about looking at our emotions and finding out what our fundamental needs are so we are living in a more balanced, harmonious manner (I go further into this in later articles as we go through the method). Focusing our attention on our faults and misgivings can bring us down even more and this is what often happens with people who suffer from anxiety, they undermine themselves with a very negative inner dialogue.
Anxiety sufferers are not the only ones who think negatively about themselves or their environment, we all do it, all the time. The thing is we don’t know we do it because we haven’t become conscious or aware of it.
Our thoughts are on automatic pilot and we tend to think that we have no control over our thoughts.
This is so wrong. We can control our thoughts, we can become conscious of our thoughts (introspection) and through this, we begin to change. The simple act of becoming conscious of something, immediately brings about change. We may need some practise in focusing our attention away from what makes us anxious or stressed, but it is possible to break away from disempowering thought patterns which then makes room to allow us to create positive, self-asserting and empowering beliefs.
How can I start?
Step 1
A little training on specific thought patterns can change how we see and cope with certain situations in as little as 21 days.
To start, buy yourself a nice notebook, one that’s sturdy but small enough that you can carry it around.
Write the date on the top of the 1st page and write down where you’re at in your life. Try and be brief and as concise as possible, including all the aspects of your life; relationships, work life, finances, projects, evolution, health and fitness, spiritual etc.
This is going to be very useful to you in the coming months. As you work through the method, you will be able to reread your 1st entry in your notebook and see how things have changed for the better. We don’t always see our progress, how things are working out for us and improving, so this will help you compare the then and now.
Next spend a half day watching yourself on the inside, watching your thoughts. Watch and observe how you react to the outside world. Don’t start with something dramatic or difficult, just your habitual routine. Watch your thoughts waking up in the morning, going to work, listening to colleagues, watching people go by, eating lunch. You might find it difficult to do for a whole half day, but even a half an hour will give you an insight into your thought processes. What goes on in your mind when you’re sitting on the bus, or emptying the dishwasher, or filling the tank? It might be helpful to imagine another you looking at you. Imagine a second you, on the outside looking at you, this might give you a clearer insight on your thoughts.
Remember 2 things:
1/ It can be difficult to do in the beginning, but like anything new, we get better with practise. Scientists say we have on average 38000 thoughts per day so you won’t catch every single one. That’s ok, just jot down in your notebook the main ones.
2/ Your thoughts are not very different from most other people’s. You might be surprised to see how negative your thoughts are, but please don’t judge yourself or think badly of yourself, we are all the same when we start this journey.
Most of our thoughts that spin out of control are instinctive, reptilian. As homo sapiens life was extremely dangerous, survival was our main concern and so it was paramount to be on alert all the time. Today we have an easier, safer life, but our brain has connected and “hard wired” our negative thought processes, as if we were still primitive hunters, because they are so habitual.
Our negative thoughts are just a bad habit.
Sufferers from anxiety often can’t tell the difference between an authentically dangerous situation and one that is not, their anxiety level is the same for a shopping trip as it is for a presentation in front of peers. This 1st step of introspecting, of looking inside, helps sort out the thoughts.
I did this inner work alone, it took me 12 weeks, but I didn’t have a lot of anxiety or excess worry and I’m a coach.I would recommend that you consult someone, that’s what we are here for, to help and guide you to a happier, empowering future and the sooner the better. It came true for me and completely changed my reality., I gave myself the gift of 12 weeks of coaching and the results were life-changing. I have since helped hundreds of clients find their way to a happier, quieter mind. When we learn how to quieten our mind, we leave space to become the true creators of our lives, where we make things happen and not let things happen to us.
Next week, I will explain step 2: making sense of the chaos in our thoughts and driving ourselves towards the path of acceptance.
I would love to hear how you get on if you decide to go ahead and do this coaching method.. It takes courage but remember by doing this important inner work we are honouring the essence of who we are, we peel off the layers and find the beauty within.

Here’s what one teenage client had to say after 4 sessions of coaching on anxiety:

“In the beginning, I went to see Elaine because I wanted help with a relationship problem, I needed to find an adult who was capable of listening and of helping me take a step back from the problem to help me make a decision on how to deal with it. But during the 1st session, Elaine proved to be more influential than I had imagined. She started to help with the relationship problem but quickly allowed me to share on my severe social anxiety. I didn’t even think of it when I went to see her, I was focused on the relationship issue, in fact I didn’t even think about this anxiety as being something I could get help for. I suppose I thought everyone suffers from it at my age. I discovered that I had been like this since I was a small child, lacking in confidence and living with a permanent knot in my stomach, especially every morning getting up to go to school. Thanks to Elaine I realised I didn’t have to continue living this way. She helped me make some decisions, taught me how to become more self aware and accepting of myself. Using simple techniques that she showed me, I learnt how to practise mindfulness and my knot disappeared in just 3 weeks! I’m now in 5th year and I have never felt better. I still try to apply the methods Elaine taught me to deal with stressful situations as they arise and it works! Slowly I am growing in confidence and feeling for the 1st time in my life that I have the power to choose how I feel and I now choose to enjoy my life, it’s so liberating!”

Address

Bettystown

Telephone

0870668143

Website

http://www.boostmypotential.ie/

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