03/04/2026
A child’s brain develops from the bottom up. Before thinking, reasoning and problem solving can happen, the nervous system needs to feel safe.
The bottom up, whole brain approach recognises that behaviour is not just about choices. It is about the state of the body and nervous system first.
When a child is dysregulated, their lower brain is in charge. This is where survival responses live. Fight, flight, freeze or fawn. In these moments, the thinking brain is much less accessible. So reasoning, consequences or logic often do not work.
Play therapy works with this, not against it.
Instead of expecting children to “think their way” out of distress, play therapy supports regulation from the bottom up. Through sensory experiences, rhythm, movement and relational safety, the nervous system begins to settle. Only then can higher level thinking and reflection start to come online.
In play therapy, the child is not pushed to explain or analyse. They are given space to express, experience and process through play, which is their natural language.
This approach helps to:
• support nervous system regulation before cognitive demand
• build felt safety through consistent, attuned relationships
• integrate emotional and sensory experiences
• strengthen connections between the lower and higher parts of the brain
• enable children to access thinking, learning and relating more effectively
As Bruce D. Perry reminds us, “Regulate, relate, reason.”
Play therapy honours this sequence. It meets the child where they are and supports development in the way the brain is designed to grow.