19/01/2026
Hi ✋
Flying Monkeys Explained for People Who Live in the Real World.
Flying monkeys are not evil masterminds. They are not always stupid either. They are just people who got recruited into someone else’s drama and mistook it for morality. In today’s language, a flying monkey is that person who suddenly shows up with opinions that did not come from their own brain. They say that they are just “concerned.” They say they just want peace. They repeat the narcissist’s version of events word for word, like they memorized a script, they swear they’ll never read.
They are the messenger, the spy, the guilt courier, and sometimes the attack dog. They do the dirty work so the narcissist can keep their hands clean and their image spotless.The narcissist rarely confronts you directly when things get ugly. That would expose them. Instead, they outsource the harm. That is where the flying monkeys come in.
*Why Flying Monkeys Report Back Like It’s Their Job?*
Because to them, it kind of is. Flying monkeys report to the narcissist because the narcissist makes them feel important. Special. Chosen. Like they are on the inside of something exclusive and righteous. The narcissist frames it as concern. Protection. Helping.
“I’m just worried about them.” “I don’t want drama.” “I need your help because you’re the only one I trust.”
People love being trusted. People love feeling useful. People love believing they are the good guy. So they gather information. They pass along screenshots. They casually mention things you said in confidence. They test reactions and report emotional responses.
They monitor your silence and your distance. They call it checking in. The narcissist calls it intel.
How Do Narcissists Convince People to Enable Their Behavior?
1. They never say, “Help me manipulate someone.”
2. They say, “Help me protect myself.”
3. They never say, “I lied.”
4. They say, “I was misunderstood.”
5. They never say, “I’m trying to control them.”
6. They say, “I’m setting boundaries.”
Narcissists weaponize emotionally respectable language. Therapy terms. Moral language. Victim language. They cry. They soften their voice. They share selective truths mixed with strategic omissions. They frame themselves as fragile, overwhelmed, or unfairly attacked. They create urgency. “I’m really scared about them.” “I don’t know what they’re capable of.”
“I’m worried they’re unstable.”
That is how they turn normal people into enablers of cruelty while believing they are preventing harm.
How People End Up Doing Awful Things in the Name of Doing Good?
Because the narcissist turns character assassination into a charity project.
Flying monkeys think they are calming a situation while spreading lies. They think they are helping a relationship while applying pressure. They think they are neutral while clearly picking a side. They shame you into silence. They guilt you into compliance. They pressure you to explain yourself. They urge forgiveness without accountability. They encourage you to “be the bigger person” while excusing abuse. All of it framed as maturity. All of it dressed up as love. All of it serving the narcissist’s control. By the time they realize what they have participated in, the damage is already done.
How to Recognize Someone Is Working for the Narcissist?
They ask questions that feel off, then act casual about it. They already seem to know things you never told them. They push reconciliation while minimizing what happened. They repeat the narcissist’s language almost word for word. They pressure you to explain yourself to people who are not involved. They get uncomfortable when you stop talking. They frame your boundaries as cruelty. They frame your silence as aggression.Most importantly, they never challenge the narcissist. They only challenge you. That is your confirmation.
Why Awareness Means Knowing Who to Stay Quiet Around?
Not everyone deserves access to your story. Not everyone can be trusted with context. Not everyone is safe just because they sound kind.
Some people cannot hold information without turning it into currency. Some people cannot resist the urge to report. Some people mistake loyalty for morality.
Silence is not weakness. It is strategy.
You do not owe clarity to people who are collecting data. You do not owe vulnerability to people who feed on updates. You do not owe explanations to people who already chose a side. Awareness is realizing that privacy is protection. And peace sometimes requires you to stop talking, stop correcting, and stop defending yourself to people who were never actually listening. Flying monkeys thrive on access. Starve them. And watch how fast the noise dies down.
