Evolution Counselling

28/10/2019

Thanks to Linda and Tim from for a beautiful lunch. Wonderful space for retreats @ Saint Mullins, Carlow, Ireland

27/10/2019

A few months ago I shared my goal for healthcare staff. We all need to be supported in our workplace. A few kind words can help. Here's what to look out for in your colleague and a few tips which can help if more support is needed. We all need someone to listen to us and to understand.

Me Time Olive Keogh today talks in the business section of the Irish Times to Cara Driscóll, "Very often it is co-workers who spot that a colleague may be experiencing some mental health issue even before they do themselves. Any change in baseline behaviour is often the first sign, has someone beco...

22/10/2019

I meet and talk to amazing people and Frances Kelleher Coaching is one of those people. Frances' speciality is finding love for those looking for love. We all want to be loved and belong. Frances warmth and enthusiasm is evident from when you first talk to her and the beauty of her Coaching is that you do not need to be both be in the same room.

16/10/2019

Maslow Hierarchy of Needs is a theory about the reason why you might feel stuck in your life. It can be useful to understand, we are all unique human beings and we don't all fit in a theory sometimes it can be helpful sometimes not. If you are feeling stuck in your life therapy can help you to unravel why you feel stuck.

A team of psychologists have updated a cornerstone of modern psychology -- Abraham Maslow's pyramid of needs. Maslow's pyramid describes human motivations from the most basic to the most adv

14/10/2019

Some tips for attending counselling from the CEO of MS Molloy.

When counsellor/psychotherapists finish their training in college, which includes 100 1 hour sessions, a supervisor's report of their ability to be a qualified Therapist as well as all the academic study. They move from being a student member of IACP to a Pre-accreditated Member of IACP where they have to complete 450 sessions with clients. The only include fully accreditated members on their website.

Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP) urge public to consider counselling this mental health week

01/10/2019

The joy of being a therapist I learn about amazing things that exist from the work I do. This video from Brené Brown talks about Trust and the Marble Jar

17/09/2019

On Saturday I was lucky enough to win a raffle and choose as a prize an Orchid, it was dry and in need of some care, and so I put it into a new pot and filled the pot with additional moist soil.

Today I went to work and was told by a colleague how much I was appreciated for my support and the kind words I say and was given a lovely box of chocolates.

I came home to find the Orchid has opened a bud - it is happy in its new home.

We all need to be cared for and nurtured holistically = physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. I am very lucky to be surrounded by people to care for me and nurture me.

We all need time to be nurtured and to rest.

12/09/2019

On Saturday I was honoured to be surrounded by like-minded people for the Christina Noble Causes Black Tie Gala Ball. I want to thank Pat Slattery and Donna Kennedy and Jean Murtagh for the invitation. Dreams can come true and Christina Noble is proof that one person can make a difference.

04/09/2019

Mindfulness is a technique a way of being, which is incorporated into my workshop. Francis Valloor has written books about Mindfulness and is an expert in the field. Well worth checking out this page.

About me Book your ticket today! Do you experience conflicts, pain, and the inevitable struggles of life?Is your life marked by the ups and downs of life, leaving you sad, hurt, angry, grieving o…

02/09/2019

Our breathe can sometimes be a helpful way to slow down our mind.

Dr. Daniel J. Siegel offers a Mindful Breathing Exercise

29/08/2019

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words can never hurt me! We now know that this phrase is untrue sticks and stones and words can cause not just physical but emotional pain. DART's and Falls can result in wounds that heal physically. The trigger of the DART and the fall and the journey to recovery can take a more extended period. My physical injuries have improved, but the emotional cost is taking slightly longer to recover from fully.

All of us have triggers some small irritations or some life changes that can result in our feeling and thinking we are in danger. Getting onto the DART now is more relaxed, my heart doesn't start pumping when I am walking down to the station, and the DART is arriving. I can sit at the station waiting and feel comfortable. Taking the step onto the DART does result in a trigger of danger. It can take time for this to end.

We all have different ways to self-soothe; having a warm relaxing bath in a darkened room is one way. In Dublin, we are fortunate to be surrounded by parks in the City-Centre. Getting outside to be with nature is during your working day gives you space to be. Merrion Square, located close to my practice, is a source of allowing us to be in the here-and-now. Bringing awareness to where you feel your breath awareness; however, this is not always suitable for everyone. Listening to your feel-good music is another way. One great advantage of mobile phones is the accessibility to a wide range of music - one fantastic benefit of having a mobile phone today.

I have made use of my feel-good music while walking down to the DART station to distract my mind and regain the ability to recognise the DART as a danger.

I have also made use of my breathing, focusing on my breath, my heart and my feet three times tells my brain I am safe, I am not in danger. It is an ability we can do anywhere, any time, any place because we breathe all the time.

Life can throw us curveballs. My fall was a curveball, and it was a bad fall. In some ways, it has made my life more comfortable, and solutions found for projects. I hope you had the opportunity to learn therapists are human and also need help and support at times. Regardless of whether you are a therapist, nurse, or social worker, we are not an island and self-sufficient we need each other. To understand what triggers are, emotional and physical pain and that the road to health can take time regardless of whether it is physical or our thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

Therapy gives a safe place in which to discuss our fears and worries. It also gives us space to celebrate our progress.

If you are interested in learning more about your triggers, I offer individualised therapy and small workshops to take time to slow down and focus on you.

15/08/2019

It takes time to heal muscles, skin all need time just as much as our emotions, sometimes more.

Recently I was asked on a social media group, how I was? My response "I'm back wearing trousers, just a few more weeks until I am out of flat shoes, lol".

Today was the first time I was getting the DART into the City Centre, since my accident. We all have triggers, music that relaxes us, small things that irritate us.

For the last number of weeks, I had been driving, unable to walk distances of more than 500 metres. Meeting up with friends is an excellent way to take time and find out their news and how life is for them. Talking on the phone or texting is good, but there is nothing in my opinion that beats having a f2f chat over a coffee.

As I walked closer to the DART station, the DART approached and, my apprehension started to increase.

I was aware that my body was aware of the imminent danger. My memory was telling me of the threat. As my step quickened, my heart started beating faster;

As I got closer to the DART I told myself that all I had to do was to take a giant step, you're not trying to hold any doors open today! Another passenger got on before me, reassuring that it was safe to get on.

I took a massive step across the gap, and I was safe and on the DART. I took my usual seat. As I began consciously breathing, I looked to the next place, a Father, son and younger child sitting. My attention shifted to my mobile phone ringing;

At my stop, I could feel my heart rate increase - again in my brain; I was very aware of the danger. We all face hazards in our lives; some we are aware of, others are subconscious.

At this moment in time, getting the DART is a trigger for me, and it will take me time to recover fully. To learn that I am not in danger when I am getting onto the DART. Today when I got off, I was very aware that the gap was much more extensive in the City Centre than at my first stop. I felt lucky that I had fallen where I had.

Breathing, reassuring myself that I am not in danger that it is a memory will take time to recover emotionally. In time I will fully recover, my brain needs time to reaffirm that I am no longer in danger.

We all have triggers in our life some we are aware of others, lies deep beneath our awareness.

The greatest gift we can give to ourselves is to be aware of who we are as a person, to understand those triggers.

When we face our fears, we grow and develop, and it can take time and patience, much like my muscles and skin have taken time to heal. It will take time, but each time I get the DART, my confidence will increase, and I will no longer feel threatened. Once upon a time, I did not fear the DART, and in time, that will return.

Over the last number of weeks, the kindness showed to me of others who wished me well has been very much appreciated - thank you.

14/08/2019

If you are sensitive there is a strong possibility that you are very aware of others emotions. Have you ever been feeling great and then out of nowhere feeling sad? Chances are you are picking up another person's energy. In this article

On the path of growth and spiritual development, we often become increasingly attuned to others and our world. Our ability to feel compassion deepens. Concerns about war in the middle east, human trafficking, global warming, and poaching of elephants...

04/08/2019

Why do People Attend Therapy?

People can attend therapy because they are unhappy but they are not sure why.

It might not because of a major trauma it can be because of relationship difficulties, loneliness, struggling in work or

Feeling uncomfortable in your skin and trying to fit in

It does not have to be one major issue but lots of smaller issues.

Therapy gives you the time to slow down, breathe and gently accept you.

With support and a listening, kind ear life starts to get easier.

You get to understand yourself

It takes courage and strength to acknowledge you need support.

I offer a safe, confidential space.

01/08/2019

Anxiety and stress are commonplace in the workplace, this useful podcast gives hints and tips.

This podcast provides some incredibly practical tips and strategies to better manage stress and anxiety. It is a response to a survey of subscribers to www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com e-ne

30/07/2019

Following on from my recent post regarding my accident. Here is some insight into the similarities between physical and emotional pain.

Following on from my post “All of Us Need Help from Others, Even Therapists” Inflammation occurs to allow our body to heal itself. The scab protects us for a while, allowing the different layers of skin to heal.

20/07/2019

Last Tuesday on my way to work, as I was approaching the DART station, I noticed a woman trying to get a ticket, and the DART was close to the station. I told her I would hold the door for her. My thinking was if I had one foot on the platform and one in the carriage, the door would not shut.

What happened instead was my foot totally missed the carriage and ended up going down the gap. Looking at the rail, I thought I was going to end up sitting on it, but with a bump, I landed on the edge of the platform sitting facing the train. There was a gasp from the train. "I must get up as I watched two young men get out of another carriage and wave to the driver at the top". I can remember giving a woman my Leap Card, and I must have been helped up because I was on the carriage and a kind young woman helped me my moving seats. I don't really like travelling backwards.

Are you ok the train driver came down to ask "Yes, just go, I'm ok, I was a nurse." At a conference in Canada, I had learnt when stress occurs to walk, talk and drink water. It is a way of coping with a difficult situation and regaining your holistic balance. At that moment I couldn't walk, I had a bottle of water in my bag and was able to talk, and I did.

Slowly I became aware of the tenderness in my upper thigh and my lower leg - looking at my trousers I could see on my shin broken skin. I knew that it had to be cleansed. My thoughts turned to where I could go to get the items I needed until I realised that Pearse Street Station would have a First Aid Kit. A member of staff very kindly helped me to the office and all the while I was chatting asking questions I had often wanted to ask. My thinking was quicker, but the most important thing was to cleanse my broken skin. "Help yourself," he said. Taking what I needed, I thanked him. Trying to work out what way I could leave the station.

I was becoming increasingly stiff and thought how lucky I was to be working as a therapist where I would sit and actively listen to my clients. Focusing on clients meant while my pain was there, the focus on my clients distracted me from this pain. Distraction is a useful tool when we are in pain. I had also recently discovered that physical and emotional pain was located in the same area of the brain. Relaxing music, mindfulness is also useful tools to help with anxiety as well as tears.

Fast forward, and the distraction was no longer working, my left ankle now swelled, I knew that I needed to seek medical assistance. I was sure that I did not have a broken leg, but something wasn't right and wasn't sure exactly what.

I am in the lucky position of being able to visit a private health clinic where I have access to medical and nursing staff and if necessary, an X-Ray and be treated in around an hour. This, in comparison to the public health system here and my overall experience in the NHS it is a handy resource to utilise. An injection, antibiotics and no confirmed broken bone and I was on my way. Told to rest and keep my leg elevated.

A few days later, despite having taken regular painkillers and keeping my leg elevated, the pain was becoming unbearable as pins and needles went up and down my legs. Luckily my next-door neighbour was around and able to take me to the local public Emergency Department. As you know, because it is an Emergency Department, there is a priority system meaning that those patients with the most acute medical needs are seen first. I knew I wasn't a top priority, but I also knew that I was not a routine appointment, which meant a wait of approximately four hours.

I hadn't brought a book with me, my concentration levels were low. I doubted if I would be able to read a sentence. Closing my eyes allowed me to focus on me, where was my pain, my lower leg just there nowhere else, so in the majority of my body, I had no pain. Breathe into the pain, it is only this tiny part of your body I repeatedly said to myself, and for a while, it helped. I looked at the clock one hour had passed, soon I said to myself I will be called by the doctor. The pain was increasing, and the focusing and breathing were no longer helping, my fear was growing, behind me, I could hear different people talking to the receptionist, "My wife is being brought in she had a heart operation early May, the accent familiar, County Down" I could hear being said, the hotel again familiar a place for recharging and slowing down for a couple of hours. A priority I'm down the list; still, the pain was increasing, a tear sprang to my eye.

Cry - no I thought at first, but then I thought tears - our body way of relaxing us and so they fell for just a few minutes, silently focusing on my breathing allowing my tears to fall. My pain eased. I tried to get someone attention. Finally, the triage nurse came over, "I'm sorry, I know you are busy", I said, She held my hand, the doctor has just ticked you I'm not looking after you, not too much longer he will see you up there". I moved to a more comfortable seat, closer" I could see through the double doors. Finally, the doctor was coming, would he call my name "Gráinne Clancy" I struggled and managed to get up, the pain had lessened somewhat.

James was a very kind doctor and brought me into an examination room. I told him that I had worked in nursing and social care for twenty-six years, approximately twenty had been in nursing. His care and gentleness in examining me gave me both reassurance and calmness. I left armed with extra painkillers.

It is in the darkness that we see the brightest stars, and that has undoubtedly been the case for me over the last week. Friends and family have been supportive while giving me the independence to do what I can and supporting what I cannot do.

All of us need help from others, even therapists. A friend said to me today - "Why didn't you phone me?" when I told her how I cried in the Emergency Department, but the truth was I didn't want to bother her. We often think that our friends are busy with their own lives, but when we are down and feeling vulnerable as I have many times over the last week, that is the time we need to be honest with ourselves and connect with those who are nearest and able to help.

I recently read about the fact that emotional and physical pain receptors are located in the same part of the brain. I have been heartbroken, but last week when I was in shock, that same feeling of vulnerability and aloneness was present. I pushed it away, distracting myself until the pain got too much. I was in physical pain, but I was also frightened that there was something more serious going on than badly bruised muscles. The doctor, with his kindness and gentleness, took away my fear and lessened by physical pain as a result.

All of us can have physical or emotional pain, and both types can have an impact on each other. We are social creatures, and when we are hurt is when we need to have more people around, whether that is a listening ear or how are you today? Do you need any shopping done?

My hairdresser asked me this morning "Do you think an ambulance should have been called?" My immediate response wasn't myself, it was others. I have always cared about people, but today, caring for others means it is even more critical for me to care for myself. I can't give to others if I do not care for myself. What do you think I would say?

19/07/2019

The World Health Organisation deemed Burnout an Occupational Phenomenon recently. Finally, it is being realised. As a therapist, I have been talking about Burnout over the last number of years. I started working within nursing in the early 1990s within eight years. I now recognise that I had burned out due to my work environment. I believe that if we accept the impact of caring within the nursing industry, then there will be a change in the demographics of recruitment and retention within Nursing. In this article, I want to talk to you what Burnout is and what the World Health Organisation, (WHO) mean by the term occupational phenomenon. Finally, I want to discuss with you how gaining access to therapy has become financially more accessible.

There is no doubt that the workforce is stressed, there has been a shift from the production line to the service industry. Higher demands, difficulties in switching off from Work and poor sleep are just some of the factors for a modern workforce. Is it no wonder that Work is suggested to be the number one cause of stress?

The WHO state that Burnout is occupational - If I ask you what is your occupation you may respond

"I work as a solicitor, nurse, civil servant."

The word occupational is a term which covers anything to do with Work.

If you were to say
"That is phenomenal."
Would you be saying that is exceptional, extraordinary, astonishing? So in watching a film, you could say that,

"Jo Smith was a phenomenon in his acting ability portraying . . . ."

So in essence what the WHO is stating in determining Burn-out as an occupational phenomenon is

A work-related extraordinary event.

What exactly is Burnout, and what are the signs and symptoms?

Burnout is classified within three different components as a syndrome. A syndrome is a condition of various symptoms that added together result in a defined diagnosis.

1. Feelings of energy depletion or Exhaustion
2. Increased mental distance from one's job, or feeling of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and
3. Reduced professional efficacy

1. Energy Depletion or Exhaustion

How often at the end of your week do you feel tired? Or instead, shall I say fatigued? I remember working where we all talked about having a Friday Feeling. The centre I worked in focused on people, and it could be challenging as well as hugely rewarding. Saying to each other "Yeah I have that Friday feeling" was saying "I've been working hard these last five days and I'm ready for time off work" we were being ordinary human beings.

There is a difference between having a Friday feeling and feeling exhausted.

Check out a dictionary definition of exhaust, and you will find

"to drain the energy out of, to deprive of resources, to empty" (Collins Dictionary, 1987)

Therefore taking into consideration, the definition by the WHO saying Burnout is Exhaustion. Essentially what we are saying is Exhaustion is a lack of energy without resources to cope with this Exhaustion.

2. Increased mental distance from one's job or feeling of negativism or cynicism related to one's job.

The word mental is related to our thoughts, feelings and behaviour. You may feel excluded and not a part of the team, a separation between you and others. You may have noticed that you are always complaining to others and say "No point telling management they never listen anyway". You may see you are doing your Work not because you want to but because you have an expectation about what is required of you in your role. Your job is a routine a have to do.

All of us have aspects of our job that we do not enjoy, but overall, you enjoy your career, however, with Burnout, there is a difference in your attitude to yourself and to others. You might feel excluded, and that you do not belong, you're not sure why you are feeling this way. Examples might be not going to the canteen with others but staying behind the staff room at lunch-time. You might think that there are cliches and are judgmental about others behaviour to support your point of view.

3. Reduced professional efficacy

The third part of Burnout and often when management might become aware is professional efficacy. The word efficacy literally means

"Capable of our success in producing an intended result; effective." (Collins English Dictionary, 1987).

Therefore professional efficacy is being effective in your job. You may have been in your position for some time and are aware of what is expected of you. The combination of feeling exhausted, possibly feeling like an outsider has resulted in you making mistakes in Work or taking longer to complete tasks which you previously were competent in. Management might be aware that you are not being efficient in your job. It is vital that they understand what Burnout is and how it can affect you.

It is often or family, friends or co-workers who realise that you are not yourself and say, you are very stressed, you've not been yourself lately. Burnout is a real and substantive problem in today's society. The WHO, deeming, Burnout an occupational phenomenon is significant.

Recovering from Burnout is possible, it is estimated it can take between six weeks and two years to recover (Baynton, 2019). Recovery is multifaceted, taking medication may help in the short-term but is not the long-term answer.

Your GP is a source of support during this time, as they will be able to decide if you are not medically fit to work, giving you some much needed time to adjust. If your employer has an Occupational Health Department, it is recommended that you contact them.

Many large employers provide EAP Services, which you can contact confidentially. You may be able to attend short term therapy through the EAP Service.

Over the last decade, a shift has occurred in Irish Society. Mental Health is seen as central to our overall health. Sports and TV personalities are opening up about their battles with mental health, including anxiety and depression. This year not a week has gone by that a book about our mental health was in the top 10.

The result, Insurance Companies who previously offered medical cover, are now shifting and incorporating wellbeing supports into packages. Allowing therapy to become accessible for those who thought that they could not afford to attend treatment for mental health problems. Under the umbrella of wellbeing, counselling and psychotherapy are being offered, it is worthwhile asking if you are shopping around for health insurance if counselling or psychotherapy is covered?

In Ireland, three central counselling and psychotherapy organisations exist, they are all an excellent starting point to find a therapist. Currently, counselling and psychotherapy are self-regulated by three leading organisations the Irish Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP), Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy (IAHIP), and the Irish Council for Psychotherapy (ICP). All of these organisations offer a website where you will be able to find highly qualified and experienced therapists, they all have high criteria to be a part of their organisation.

The most essential part of finding a therapist is finding a person who you feel comfortable with, this usually starts with a brief telephone conversation, to confirm the appointment time location and some brief information that you are comfortable sharing over the telephone.

Attending therapy is strongly recommended for recovery and some time away from Work is recommended if you are not coping with your Work and life. Counselling is essential in helping you to recover from Burnout. The counsellor will work with you looking at your life and your thoughts, feelings and behaviour in your job or outside your job.

Knowledge is power, and knowing what is Burnout and also what your limitations are is imperative. There are many different types of questionnaires available to help you identify where you are in your life which are easily accessible.

Burnout can occur in any occupation. We expect perfection of each other, and no one is perfect; we all make mistakes - it is called being a human being.

19/07/2019

Over the last few weeks, I have had difficulties with this page.

24/06/2019

Are you busy seven days a week?

You are not lazy by choosing to take a day and do what you want to do

Read a book

Watch some television

See a movie

Listen to the radio

Go for a walk

Listen to music from a CD or on a Record Player

Rather than

Do the washing

Clean the house

Go Shopping

Take some time for you

Have some

What you might notice is that you have time for yourself, and feel refreshed and energised and the housework, etc gets done in a shorter amount of time.

19/06/2019

Save the Date: Friday 13th September http://bit.ly/2IpudpT

19/06/2019

Save The Date

07/06/2019

A few months ago I talked about how all healthcare staff needed to be listened to - does have the answer?

Cara Driscoll ’s initiative Working Well aims to improve her colleagues’ mental health

06/06/2019

An out-of-control inner critic can keep clients frozen in fear and anxiety.Over time, it can burn out their ambition, locking them into painful patterns of shame. Or harshly punish them when they fail to meet unattainable standards.And when an inner critic turns toxic, it can leave a client powerles...

06/06/2019

How was your week? How are you?

03/06/2019

Just forty-five minutes remaining until the early bird ticket for "Do You Take Time for You" go to full price, don't miss out.

31/05/2019

Very often we can say oh aren't the French this or the American or Italians this way the fact is we are all human beings, who have similar thoughts, feelings, and moods. Here is a link about Burnout from Portland in America.

PORTLAND, Ore. – Many Americans know the feeling - you don’t want to go to work, you’re overworked, you just don’t care. It’s known as "burnout. " Now, the World Health Organization (WHO) is beefing up their definition of burnout. They say it is a “syndrome concep...

31/05/2019

Jamie White from Fresh Resolutions Conference talking about Burnout

30/05/2019

What is stress? Is it good or bad in this article the Mayoclinic share their viewpoint of stress.

Stress management: Understanding your stress triggers is essential to stress relief.

30/05/2019

Do You Take Time for You?

How to relieve Stress