Jo Ryder

22/05/2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-VBmaVqScM

This week I dive deep into the complexities of relationships with renowned s*x and relationship therapist, Jo Ryder. Join us as we explore strategies to reig...

29/11/2023

Podcast I did on s*x therapy and gender identity support

Listen to Boyz! on Spotify. Following her dating addiction, Aisling became the friend who everyone turned to when they needed advice on all things romance. Through this, she noticed distinct patterns, giveaways and healthy coping mechanisms to adopt when playing the game and making it out alive. Rec...

24/05/2023

Join the other 50K people already getting a weekly dose of science, s*x and relationships in 5 minutes or less.

24/05/2023

Why do girls feel empowered to engage in s*xual activity but not to enjoy it? For three years, author Peggy Orenstein interviewed girls ages 15 to 20 about their attitudes toward and experiences of s*x. She discusses the pleasure that's largely missing from their s*xual encounters and calls on us to...

28/04/2023

From DIY weighted blankets to things to fidget with, we’ve rounded up seven household items that can be repurposed to help soothe anxiety.

08/02/2023

Great ideas for tending to & nurturing your couple time

Date night ideas for married couples are not hard to come by. But repeating the same things can get boring. Here are some ideas to spice up your relationship.

25/01/2023

Successful couples’ counseling starts with a shift in these four behaviors.

12/11/2021

Painful S*x after birth is reported in a large number of Women. what top tips do we have to overcome this? The Physio Movement

04/04/2021

Some practical / sound advice for people who come from a background of s*xual trauma..

1) rather than being understanding & empathic towards others (often, an old self protective mechanism), you should be sending it inwards: self compassion is essential.

2) reduce stessors by half and double your self care. You couldn't possibly get enough, from bubble baths to breathwork.

3) trauma people do a lot of copy catting others, because they are often unsure of themselves. Think for yourself! Practice the trials & tribulations of your own decision making & taking more / radical responsibility for yourself. You are You and nobody else is.

4) Decide who you are (write a list / make a mind map / or do the tree of life exercise) and build it up, with your own strong sense of self / values - not the ones you think other people think you should have.

5) hang around more with positive people. Find / make friends who aren't going to keep modeling the place you don't want to be in yourself. Misery loves company!

6) repeat as necessary

23/02/2021

Power

Power sometimes can be used

Into Power withheld

Power turned into personal benefit

Power discounted in self or others

And this battle of Will

This dissonance

Is played out Within

One's own sense of Self

22/02/2021

One of the reasons people aren't so keen on moving forward with their own self actualisatiom process

Just happily cruising along as their authentic selves,

Yet unbeknownst to them, still rolling on in a state of dissonance

Is that they're kind of, so very used to it

The job of being me is, is being done in a way that makes me feel OK enough

In a "Good Enough" way

A model frequently used in psychotherapy, for when you're feeling a little bit "Less Than"

Like when parents look at the state of their house cleaning and their parenting skills,

Feeling guilty about how they could be a whole better at it

And one of the things i have noticed that i do really well in sessions

Is that I'm pretty effective when it comes to helping fighting couples with their conflict management

Getting them to "see" for themselves

Their own fight dynamic and what it is, they're really fighting over between them & why

And showing them how they're so capable themselves

Of doing That between them

Without needing a therapist

It is always, always my job

To show them how to do it for themselves

Because couples don't think they can manage their conflict on their own

But they most certainly can,

They can do it

Perfectly Well, for themselves,

Because

They have that natural Power & self actualisation within them

already

21/02/2021

Why do people with Trauma or in a Negative state keep creating a Crisis on the Go for themselves?

Having had noticeable evidence of this through client work

It's not just because they're so used to it and it's what makes people so used to Trauma feel alive through more of the same,

arguments and fights

Genetically compromised dopamine levels, that plays its part too

But generally, when you create a crisis,

That makes you feel.... Important enough

It's in order to be able to step in and be a centre of attention

When you don't feel so big, without it

So people creating a crisis, well that makes them feel big, when in reality

It's because they are feeling rather small

And of course, all along they totally Discount their own Power

So all that fighting about whatever it is they are fighting about or narked about in relationship

It's always, always about a battle between 2 opposing forces in relationship with each other

Where one is feeling in their power

And the other side is feeling quite small

Because each one of them doesn't realise their own Power