Felicity Connolly Psychotherapy and Counselling

12/07/2025

23/08/2023

A great perspective on what self-love actually looks like ❤️

[Term note: The word spiritual in the quote refers to the human spirit, not anything religious. Growth of the spirit = healing, recovery, wellness, wholeness, etc.]

I've been on a self-love journey since Feb 14, 2018, when I committed to a plan I called my Radical Self-Love Plan. Learning about my nervous system was a huge step in my self-love journey, but it's only a small piece of the bigger picture.

This month, I'll be talking and teaching about my form of self-love.

This is not the easy-breezy, celebrity-stanned, isolationist, bypassing emotions kind of self-love (which is really just self-soothing - there's a big difference).

Love is an action, not a feeling. I have to thank Bell Hooks for really solidifying this idea for me. Self-love is actions that I take to care for myself.

Self-care is similar to childcare in that it's an active process where connection over time creates positive feelings of affection and trust.

Cultural images of self-love often display disconnection, dissociation, and numbing. Real self-love allows disconnection when we truly need it, but it also uses gentle activation or fierce motivation when we need the opposite.



🧠 I have a collection of free infographics about the nervous system! You can find them here: Linktr.ee/TraumaGeek and on my blog

💫 If it feels good to you, please support the continuation of this work by sharing images from this page to friends, family, or groups. Shares are always welcome - no need to ask permission.

🌠 I have a waitlist for the next Nervous System Study Group. You can sign up on the homepage of my website.

💛 My 3 month Self-Love Initiative begins on Sept 5. Join us if you want to try out the self-attunement and self-care system I’ve been using for 5 years.

13/04/2023

Acknowledging our feelings, whatever they may be and however much they have been invalidated in the past, paves the path for self acceptance, healing and growth.

ℹ️🌿 EMOTIONAL INVALIDATION: A FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE |

Have others minimized, shamed, or invalidated your feelings?

Having your feelings diminished, ignored, or rejected is a painful experience for all of us – but even more so if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or survivor of abuse or other trauma.

It’s important to have a sense of belonging and to be a part of a group -- a family or community. And part of belonging to any group is to be known, understood, and accepted. But, while it’s normal to want to be understood, we can’t depend on others to validate who we are, what we believe in, and how we feel. When we do, we compromise pieces of who we are in order to fit in and let others determine our self-worth.

https://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/emotional-invalidation-emotional-abuse/

21/02/2023

This is powerful

08/09/2022

A huge yes to this!

18/05/2022

I just have to share these beautiful illustrations by an autistic artist of autistic descriptions of what stimming feels like.

Stimming is ritualistic or repetitive behaviour which may help regulate anxiety and stress

Edited to correct grammar

07/02/2022

This simple grounding technique can help calm your nervous system if you feel fearful, overwhelmed, or anxious.

Notice:
- 5 things you can SEE
- 4 things you can TOUCH
- 3 things you can HEAR
- 2 things you can SMELL
- 1 thing you can TASTE

Credit to for the graphic

20/07/2021

I feel like hanging this up on my wall as a visual reminder to stop and notice what is happening in me and check what I need throughout the day. Great infographic from mindful.org

Edited to add credit to carlanaumburg.com, creator of the infographic

02/07/2021

After experiencing trauma, our bodies can become stuck reliving that trauma and bracing for another impact. Listening to the story the body has to tell can be part of a journey of self-acceptance and healing. Thanks to NICABM for this really useful illustration of what trauma response in the body can look like.

After trauma, many clients live in fear that it will happen again.

But when that constant vigilance lives in the body and the nervous system, rather than the conscious mind, clients may not understand why they are having the responses they do — perhaps even causing more fear and self-criticism.

By helping clients visualize how trauma can linger in the body, we can begin to normalize the response and reduce their shame.

That’s why we created this illustration for you to share with your clients. Take a look.

15/06/2021

Some great ideas on how to be with an anxious child, teenager or adult. They could also work really well as self talk to help process feelings when we feel anxious ourselves

Good for adults too...