20/12/2025
The gift of space, holding & truly being seen just as you are 🫶
Holding space in a way that’s supportive isn’t necessarily intuitive.
Most of us are well-intentioned when we give advice or relate the speaker’s situation to one we’re familiar with. We *are* trying to connect, to help, but those sorts of attempts often miss the mark.
Here’s what is helpful:
Really listening to what they’re saying.
Allowing space for supportive, safe, unhurried, unpressured silence.
Asking questions that show that you want to understand.
Reflecting back what you’re hearing them say. I.e., “it sounds like you really don’t want to go tonight.”
Naming and validating the emotional part of the experience.
Mirroring back their goodness and reminding them of who they are when they seem to be struggling to remember.
Asking them if they’d like to hear your perspective or advice before offering it (sometimes they do want this, and sometimes they really don’t.)
More often than not, you don’t have to add new information of any kind to be supportive.
I still believe that for many people, it can feel rare to find friends who know how to really hold space, and that when you offer this gift of space and REALLY being able to listen (and not just waiting for your turn to speak), you’re providing something truly healing and magical.
What’s helpful to you when you’re looking for support?
The Cycle Breakers Program begins January 21st.
This is a 12 month program for those committed to changing their relational patterns - those who have been doing the work and are working to practice walking the talk. Meeting themselves with greater compassion, practicing emotional self-management, and connecting with others as they break cycles for future generations.
https://theeqschool.co/cycle-breakers
