Phoenix Sanctuary

22/02/2026

You think, and you say, that you’re fine.

That everything is under control. That you’re strong. You go, you do, you handle everything that needs to be handled.

“I can do it all. I go, and I do. I’M FINE. I manage everything perfectly,” you say. Sometimes you say it out loud, sometimes only to yourself.

Unfortunately, I have to disappoint you. I’m sorry if this brings up uncomfortable feelings.

That’s not a strength. That’s fawn, or what I call His Majesty Adaptation.

Frozen, but surviving.

On the outside, there’s a smile, you function well, you’re responsible, and you take care of everyone.
On the inside, there’s tension, hypervigilance, and you’re always scanning: is everything okay?
“Everything’s fine. Did I do everything right? I feel fine.”

You say you feel and understand yourself?
Give me fifteen minutes with you, and I will show you what you’re actually feeling… and how you don’t even know how to name it.

Fawn is often born in environments of abuse or narcissistic relationships.
Where you couldn’t fight. Couldn’t run. Couldn’t allow yourself to be weak or appear vulnerable.
So your entire internal system chose adaptation. To soothe. To apologize. To explain.
To become who you needed to be, who others wanted you to be, so there would be no threat or punishment.

What hides behind fawn?

Constant responsibility for other people’s emotions.
An automatic “I’m sorry.”
Fear of conflict.
Boundaries that dissolve the moment someone gets upset.
And that strange internal belief: if I’m just good enough, if I do everything the right way, it will be safe.

Rehearsing in your mind what you will say, how you will say it, how you will explain yourself…
Until you see that person. And then, everything disappears.

Fawn is not weak.
It’s not indecisiveness.
It’s not a lack of opinion.

It is the body’s decision to survive.

The only question is, are you still living in survival mode, even though the danger is long gone?

03/01/2026

Had you a lovely Christmas? Have you felt safe?

How to recognise that your holidays were not what they were supposed to be?

Holidays should bring safety, softness, moments where your body can exhale without permission. Christmas should offer warmth, not tension. Presence, not performance. A sense that you are allowed to be without monitoring every single word or action.

If, instead, your holidays were shaped by vigilance, something important needs to be acknowledged.

If you were walking on eggshells so you wouldn't "ruin the mood,"

if you measured every word before speaking,

If you tracked someone's tone, facial expression, and posture to anticipate the next shift, your nervous system was not at rest. It was working overtime to keep you safe.

If you felt pressure to smile, to be agreeable, to be "easy," while swallowing your own discomfort, it's essential to understand that this is a common experience.

If you ate, drank, sat, spoke, or stayed silent based on what was allowed rather than what you wanted, that was not a choice.

If you hid your feelings, your needs, your tears, even your joy, that was not peace.

Holidays that cost you your nervous system are not holidays. They are surviving.

When your body feels wrecked afterwards-heavy, numb, exhausted, or flooded-remember, this is information that can guide you to healthier boundaries.

It is not about being ungrateful. It is not about being too sensitive. It is about recognising that a body that feels unsafe during supposedly close moments is responding to something real. Your feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgement.

You are not wrong for feeling this way. There is nothing wrong with you; you couldn't relax. Your body was responding to an environment that required constant self-erasure to maintain stability, which is a normal reaction.

And here is the part no one says out loud often enough: real holidays do not require you to disappear. They do not demand silence, hypervigilance, or self-betrayal. They do not leave your body feeling like it just came back from a battlefield.

If this resonates, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means your system remembers what safety is supposed to feel like.

03/01/2026

Domestic abuse is not just physical violence. It is a pattern of power and control.

It includes controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading, or violent behaviour, including sexual abuse, carried out by a partner, ex-partner, family member, or carer. “Domestic” means the home, which is why abuse can come from the very people who are supposed to be safest.

At its core, domestic abuse is about one person exerting power over another. It is not about anger, stress, culture, poverty, or a “difficult personality.” It is a deliberate system of control that slowly erodes safety, autonomy, and identity.

Domestic abuse can happen in any relationship — regardless of age, gender, sexuality, culture, or socioeconomic status. It exists in wealthy homes and struggling ones, in teenage relationships and long-term marriages, in heterosexual and LGBTQ+ relationships. No one is immune.

International frameworks are clear: the World Health Organisation defines intimate partner violence as any behaviour that causes physical, psychological, or sexual harm. The United Nations recognises domestic abuse as a human rights violation. Everyone has the right to feel safe in their own home.

Most importantly, domestic abuse is not limited to physical harm. Psychological control, fear, intimidation, isolation, and coercion are often the foundation; physical violence is just the part that becomes visible.

If a relationship is built on fear, silence, self-erasure, or constant vigilance, something is wrong — even if there are no bruises.

Domestic abuse begins the moment one person’s power overrides another person’s safety, voice, and freedom.

05/10/2025

https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/1755267184399?aff=oddtdtcreator

04/10/2025

13/08/2025

Fermoy Community Youth Centre

13/08/2025

Reiki Masters weekend 16/17 August at Fermoy Community Youth Centre The Reiki School Of Ireland

01/06/2025

Have you been let down by the Mental Health System?

You’re not broken. You’re carrying pain that was never yours to hold.

👇 Read this if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, unheard, or emotionally stuck 👇

✨ Two Trauma-Informed Coaches. One Powerful Mission.
In partnership with The Mental Being Company

We’ve created something we wish we had years ago— Trauma Informed Parenting Workshop.
Understand. Learn. Heal
A full-day, soul-deep healing retreat for parents, teachers, survivors, and caregivers who are DONE carrying it all alone.

Because right now, we are living in a mental health crisis.
Not just in Ireland. Everywhere.
And it’s not always visible.

😰 Anxiety that won’t go away
😡 Anger that explodes from nowhere
🥱 Emotional numbness and exhaustion
💔 Kids struggling without words for their pain
🏠 Homes that look fine but feel heavy

This isn’t about blame.
It’s not about fixing you.
It’s about finally being seen.

🌱 This full-day retreat is for you if…
✔️ You’re a parent who never learned how to break the cycle—but deeply wants to
✔️ You’re a teacher or carer holding space for others with no space for yourself
✔️ You’ve survived trauma and want to stop passing it on
✔️ You’re ready to meet your inner child and say: “You didn’t deserve that. And I’m here now.”

💛 What you’ll experience:
🔸 Learn how childhood shapes the adult nervous system
🔸 Understand and regulate your emotional triggers
🔸 Heal through a Sound Off™ Inner Child Journey
🔸 Tools backed by neuroscience—not fluff
🔸 Somatic practices, oils, and mindfulness to reconnect with your true self

This isn’t self-improvement.
This is self-return.
It’s the education we should’ve had—about healing, emotions, and the nervous system.
Come as you are. Leave feeling lighter.
And most importantly, understood.

🗓 Saturday, July 5
⏰ 9:30 AM – 4:30 PM
📍 Mad Yolk Farm, Srah, Craughwell, Co. Galway
🎟️ Early bird €120 | Limited spots
📞 Sol: 085 718 5001 | 📧 solsmiththerapy@gmail.com
📞 Claire: 087 145 5446 | 📧 redrobintherapy@gmail.com
https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/trauma-informed-parenting-and-emotional-healing-workshop-tickets-1378458198579?aff=oddtdtcreator

🔥 This post might be what someone else needs to read today.
💬 Share with a friend.
💌 Tag someone you love.
📩 DM us to reserve your place.

What if your child’s struggles awaken the pain you never got to feel? The workshop helps you understand why and offers a solution.

24/05/2025

🔥 5 Most Common ACEs:

Emotional Neglect
– Growing up in a home where no one asks how you feel, comforts you, or makes you feel emotionally seen or safe.

Physical Abuse
– Being hit, slapped, pushed, or hurt by a parent or caregiver.

Emotional Abuse
– Being constantly criticised, belittled, shamed, or made to feel worthless.

Household Alcoholism or Substance Abuse
– Living with someone who drinks excessively or uses drugs in a way that creates chaos, fear, or emotional distance.

Domestic Violence
– Witnessing one parent (often the mother) being hurt, threatened, or abused by the other.

💔 These experiences aren’t “just childhood.”
They’re trauma.
And they live in the body until they are healed.

You’re not broken.
You’re carrying pain no child should’ve held.

🤍 And healing is possible. One safe step at a time.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, grandparent, foster carer, social worker, or simply someone who wants to understand yourself and your children better—

You belong in this room.

🌿 Join Us for a Full-Day Healing Retreat
🗓 Saturday, July 5 | ⏰ 9:30 AM – 4:30 PM
📍 Mad Yolk Farm, Srah, Craughwell, Co. Galway

This is your invitation to reconnect with yourself, heal the roots, and learn how early emotional wounds shape adult life—and how to break the cycle, gently.
Early bird price: 120 euros only; book early as places are limited.

Sol @ 085 718 5001 or solsmiththerapy@gmail.com
Claire @ 087 145 5446 or redrobintherapy@gmail.com

24/05/2025

🌪️ What Are ACEs? And Why We MUST Pay Attention?

ACEs—Adverse Childhood Experiences—are deeply distressing events that happen before the age of 18.
Things like emotional neglect, physical abuse, household addiction, domestic violence, or growing up with a mentally ill parent.

These aren’t just “bad memories.”
They’re nervous system wounds.
They change how your body responds to stress, how you connect, and how you feel safe in the world.

And in Ireland, the numbers are staggering:

🔸 94% of Irish adults aged 50+ reported at least one ACE
🔸 56% experienced physical abuse
🔸 51% emotional abuse
🔸 21% sexual abuse

The result?
📉 Soaring rates of depression, anxiety, emotional shutdown, addiction, and complex PTSD.
And that’s not just “personal pain”—it’s a public health crisis.

But here’s the truth:
You are not broken.
You’re carrying unhealed stories.
And healing is possible.
Through safety. Connection. Compassion. And re-learning how to feel.

🤍 It’s time we stopped calling trauma “weakness” and started calling it what it is: a survival response.

🌿 Join Us for a Full-Day Trauma-Informed Healing Retreat/Workshop.

🗓 Saturday, July 5 | ⏰ 9:30 AM – 4:30 PM

📍 Mad Yolk Farm, Srah, Craughwell, Co. Galway

This is your invitation to reconnect with yourself, heal the roots, and learn how early emotional wounds shape adult life—and how to break the cycle, gently.

Early bird price: 120 euros only; book early as places are limited.

Sol @ 085 718 5001 or solsmiththerapy@gmail.com
Claire @ 087 145 5446 or redrobintherapy@gmail.com

23/05/2025

When a child grows up without boundaries,
she either lets everyone in or pushes everyone away.
She says yes when she means no.
Or she builds walls instead of limits.

Because no one ever taught her:
“You have the right to take up space.”

23/05/2025

When a child doesn’t feel loved,
she believes she has to earn her worth.
She becomes the helper, the achiever, the pleaser.
She builds a smile over her heartbreak.

And deep down, she still wonders:
“Am I enough just as I am?”