16/04/2026
A dad brought his young daughter to see me—she was terrified of dogs.
During the session, something interesting came up.
She said she’d be okay to be near a dog..
but only if her dad lifted her up and hugged her.
And there it was.
What we call in therapy a secondary gain—a hidden benefit the subconscious holds onto.
Her dad had shared that her fear was getting worse each week. And as we spoke, it became clear that each time a dog appeared, the little girl would panic and her dad would gently lift her up and away—comforting her, holding her close, helping her feel safe.
Of course he did—any parent would.
But for a 6-year-old, that moment of closeness is powerful.
So when we looked a little deeper, it began to make sense…
The fear wasn’t just fear—it was also a way of receiving comfort, connection, reassurance.
So when I gently tried to guide her from fear into calm, she resisted.
Not because she couldn’t let go…
but because a part of her didn’t want to.
She was getting something she needed.
And this happens more often than we realise.
Sometimes we hold onto behaviours, habits, even fears—
not because we want them…
but because on some level, they’re giving us something.
That’s where hypnosis can be so powerful.
It helps uncover what’s really driving the behaviour—so we’re not just treating the surface, but addressing the root.
Because otherwise, you can spend a lot of time trying to fix the wrong thing.
What if the thing you’re trying to change is actually meeting a need that hasn’t yet been seen?
-Melanie
epiphanyhypnotherapy.ie
