29/04/2021
LONELINESS
Hi Readers,
I have chosen to begin this piece of writing with a song because it is a true reflection of life. In life we are continually facing barriers, and with our trials and tribulations we get through or around them, for they are a constant!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs
This topic of which I am about to write is very dear to my heart and something I have endured for many years. I haven’t openly spoken about it and so I chose to write about it, with the hopes of expressing my awareness and care for others who may be experiencing the same ordeal.
Five years ago I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease, which caused me to undergo six back surgeries in five years. The physical pain I could endure, as I live with chronic pain today, however after each surgery it took months of recovery and mostly being bedridden and/or housebound. It was just me and the four walls, an adorned prison cell. The pain from the lack of physical contact and connection was indescribable, an aching heart. I so longed for the touch of a person's hand, someone’s arms around me to comfort me and unspokenly say “It will be alright, you will conquer these four walls and they will cease to exist.” So I have researched the topic of loneliness to gain insight for myself and others and to hopefully reach out and say, I know what you are going through, for we wear the same pair of shoes. I hope this makes a difference to someone.
WHAT IS LONELINESS? - Loneliness is an emotional response to ultimate isolation that is extremely painful and unpleasant. It is a feeling of disconnection and lack of intimacy. It describes the negative feelings that occur when one’s needs for social connections aren’t met. It is a state of solitude or being alone and the inability to find meaning in one’s life.
WHAT LONELINESS CAN DO TO A PERSON? - Loneliness can cause mental health issues such as depression, anxiety and emotional distress. It causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted. It can influence one’s sleeping habits like the inability to fall asleep or interrupted sleep. Chronic, long-term loneliness can increase the risk of su***de and can shape one’s personality and change who they are. Its pain is like a shooting arrow through the heart.
IS LONELINESS A MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM? - Loneliness in itself is not a mental health problem, but the two are strongly linked, for example, my mental health has made me lonely, feeling lonely has compounded my mental health. Another example demonstrating how loneliness and mental health cross over, is with people who suffer from social phobia. They find it difficult to engage in everyday activities with other people, leading to a lack of meaningful social contact and leading to feelings of loneliness.
“I want to be able to interact with people, and make new connections, but my anxiety feels like an invisible barrier that I can’t break through”
I experienced this myself through loneliness as an individual dealing with depression and anxiety. I found my depression spiraling downwards to a point where I had to seek professional help. Together with the help of a clinical psychologist, I was able to make good progress and have come a long way in terms of recovery.
WHAT CAUSES LONELINESS - Loneliness has many different causes besides a lack of social disconnectedness, which varies from person to person. For some people certain life events may feel lonely, such as:
Experiencing bereavement
A relationship break up
Retiring and losing the social contact one had at work
Changing jobs and feeling isolated from co-workers
Starting studies at a university or college
Moving to a new area or country without family, friends or community networks
Other people find they feel lonely at certain times of the year, for example religious holidays.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LONELY AND ALONE? - Lonely is the feeling of sadness caused by not being surrounded by people or someone, whereas alone defines the CONDITION of not having someone around. You feel lonely because you are alone.
WHAT IS A LONER PERSONALITY? - A loner is a person who does not seek out interaction with other people. There are many potential reasons for their solitude, some being the preoccupation of wealth, a person who expends all their time on work, someone who is naturally introverted, or for spiritual, religious and personal considerations. Some people may have a lot of social contact, or even be in a relationship or part of a family and still feel lonely, especially if you don’t feel understood or cared for by the people around you. One can feel lonely in a crowd full of people, but quite peaceful and content when alone.
BELOW ARE SOME TIPS FOR DEALING WITH LONELINESS, PARTICULARLY CHRONIC LONELINESS.
Talk to someone, especially a therapist, your family doctor or health care professional. Sometimes loneliness is not just limited to social isolation, but it can be tied to deeply rooted beliefs one has about themselves. Let someone know what is going on.
Engage with people in a positive healthy way, even though it can be difficult, try making the effort to connect with others. Reach out to a friend to go out on a coffee date or spend time together volunteering, joining hobby clubs, workout groups and meet ups of all sorts. All of the above can boost self-esteem and offer a safe way to connect with others.
Get exercise and sunlight. Keeping active and being out in the sun can increase endorphins and serotonin. These are “brain hormones” that boost a person’s mood, help improve sleep and make people feel happier. It isn’t always easy, especially when one is depressed, to want to go outdoors, but talking yourself into doing it is well worth the effort.
Find a support group, this allows one to receive support and encouragement from others who may share similar feelings. People who one can relate to and understand one another. This could help ease the symptoms of loneliness.
If you are dealing with loneliness, especially long term loneliness, the kind that doesn’t go away, talk to your doctor, so that they can help you. If chronic loneliness is left unchecked it can put you at risk for serious physical and emotional issues.
Please feel free to call, email or private message me if you wish to reach out. It would be my honor and privilege to help.
The Climb (Official Video)Performed by Miley CyrusDirected by Matthew RolstonDownload/stream "The Climb" here: https://smarturl.it/mcappl1?iqid=hwrvevoCheck ...
