Jerusalem Therapy

Jerusalem Therapy Therapy for individuals, couples, and parents

Loving Relationships and Living Values

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International: +972-53-808-0435

The Torah is replete with real pieces of work.  Bilam – horrid.  Ni**od – a monster.  Paro - do I need to say more?  Thr...
10/11/2025

The Torah is replete with real pieces of work. Bilam – horrid. Ni**od – a monster. Paro - do I need to say more? Throw a rock in the air of any Torah narrative and it’ll land on someone genuinely evil. Others, like those in this week's parsha, aren't so simple. Lot was a good man. Hagar was a caring mother. Yishmoel was an intelligent child filled with promise. Let that sink in a tad. It’s easy to see these figures as one-dimensional villains but that’s a mistake. Evil figures like Bilam and heroes like Avraham set the moral landscape of ideals. They are what to avoid and what to strive for. This third category has more meat to it. Like us, these figures are extremely good people who still, tragically, fall short. It's in their stories that we are able to move closer toward the ideals in Avraham.

To be fair, there are good reasons to be suspicious of the claim. Lot’s track record as a father was, putting it politely, less than stellar. It’s hard to see Hagar as the exemplar of motherly compassion in her abandonment of her son. And, Yishmoel? In our political climate, his backstory continues to take on more sobering meaning. With all that being said, each was not only good. They were heroic. Astounding. Any one of us would feel inspired to stand before them. And therein lies the message of the repeating theme in this parsha. It isn’t enough to be good, have good spiritual values, or even to do good things. Zeroing in on the story of Lot, this parsha perfectly illustrates more is necessary.

Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch (Bereshis, Ch. 19) describes Lot as an antihero. Being motivated by a true love of humanity and a deep conviction of chesed, he sets out to change the world. Having grown up in the house of Avraham, and cut from the same cloth, Lot sets his sights on where he can do the most good. S***m. There he excels. Climbing up the ranks, he becomes a shining example and takes on the social responsibility of a judge. As the story of the melachim illustrates, he has a realistic view of the city, “It's not safe for you to sleep in the square”. And, given all that, he’s undaunted by the culture and still does what is right at great risk. He’s also a man who knows how to speak persuasively to the people at their level. While crass, Rav Hirsch sees Lot’s offer to substitute his guests with his daughters as rhetorical. “Just as it’s unthinkable to treat women with such degradation, you think it’s any different to treat men this way? We’re all created in the image of God.” Lot was animated by love of humanity and had the soul of a lion.

The Ramchal (Otzros Ramchal: Ramchal al HaTorah, 20-21) pushes this bold characterization further. He also offers a key insight into Lot's tragic end. Lot stood shoulder to shoulder with Avraham. Both had reached the same level of Kedusha in their lives. Both were on equal footing in the virtue of chesed. However, there are two modes of Kedusha. The panim and achorim - the front and a back, as it were. One way of thinking about this idea is in terms of what we push forward in our lives. It’s a relational perspective as opposed to fixating on what can be achieved or accomplished. Is Kedusha an intrinsic idea you place before yourself as the highest pursuit? Or, is it something behind you that pushes you forward as a motivation? On an emotional level it will feel different. The former brings a reverence for the beauty of the good that grabs you. The latter is a need that you're grabbing for. For Avraham, Kedusha was inherently worth sacrificing his sense of self for. Avraham served it. Paradoxically, by doing so his sense of self became eternal as the forefather of our nation. For Lot, yes, it was deeply important. So much so that it was worth fighting for with every fiber of his being. His spiritual connection to Hashem, prayer, was also pristine. So much so he was able to directly speak to angels. That is seriously not nothing. But, he didn't bow to Kedusha like Avraham. It took the back seat to his sense of self. He could fight for Kedusha but not sacrifice for it. Given sacrifice is the lynch pin, it's important to see how it relates to these other themes.

The Nitziv, (Haemek Davar, Bereshis, 2:5) outlines the ideas of work, prayer, and sacrifice that are at play in Lot's story. For him work and prayer are similar in that they're the source of creative potential. But, they're each separate and distinct paths towards making a better world. Each targets a different aspect of reality. Work transforms the external. It's about getting your hands dirty. By engaging with the material and taking responsibility to cultivate it, you will accomplish amazing things. Prayer, on the other hand, transforms the internal in the meaning we make. It injects spiritual significance into your life with the values you hold dear. It can even help you reframe difficult times in your life with the recognition of a higher purpose. Prayer transforms labor, making it an act of devotion rather than a question of survival. Each produces “fruits” in their own ways. Work and prayer are parallel, independent methods of creation. But, the center of gravity for each is you. You do the work, and you're the meaning maker. Something else needs to fuse the two together. That's where sacrifice comes in.
Sacrifice bridges work and prayer together. By taking a knee and humbling yourself in your work and meaning making you're giving up those fruits as yours. In sacrifice, you are declaring that the things you work for and find meaningful are not even meant to be yours. They're meant to live in the world as something inherently valuable in of themselves. They don't serve you. Instead, you serve them ensuring they manifest in the world as they ought to. Yes, Lot achieved greatness in both his work and spiritual devotion. He fought for justice and directed his heart towards emulating God's Chesed. However, he wasn't able to sacrifice his ego to Kedusha. His work and prayer, though exemplary, remained subservient to his sense of identity.

When Kedusha precedes personal ambitions, it transforms you into an instrument of divine will. Avraham exemplified this commitment. Through his sacrifices of home, culture, and even his own son, he allowed a legacy to be born that transcended him. In contrast, for Lot, kedusha took a backseat. It was something to uphold but never to entirely submit to. This is where the notion of sacrifice becomes essential. By offering you labor and prayers to God, you let go of ego. That's what allows what you do to merge with the eternal, creating something far greater than success. Lot's story shows how the best of intentions falls short without sacrifice. True kedusha requires a willingness to not just fight for the holy. You also have to yield to it, giving divine purpose the right of way to shape every aspect of your life.

To Reach Out:
Yonasan Bender LCSW - Therapist
📱: 053-808-0435

- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics. He received his rabbinic ordination from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits.

Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.

He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Try This One Shift to Reclaim Your CalmIt’s not always what happens that gets to you. It’s what you...
23/10/2025

Feeling Overwhelmed? Try This One Shift to Reclaim Your Calm

It’s not always what happens that gets to you. It’s what you tell yourself about what happened.

Ever walk out of a meeting, a conversation, or even a text exchange and find your stomach in knots? You replay it over and over, and you’re left feeling anxious, angry, or totally deflated.

Let me show you something simple but powerful I teach in therapy:
You are not your feelings. You are not even your thoughts. You’re the one who can notice them—and that’s where your freedom starts.

---Let’s break it down:

Every emotional spiral starts with three things:

1. An Event — Something happens.
2. A Thought — You interpret it.
3. A Feeling — You react emotionally to what you believe the event means.

And here's the catch: the same event can lead to completely different feelings depending on what you tell yourself about it.

---Example Time:

Let’s say your boss says:
“You’ll need to revise this report and get it back to me.”

Three different people might think:

“She hates my work. I’m probably getting fired.” → They feel anxious and ashamed.

“She’s just being thorough. I can handle this.” → They feel calm and focused.

“She’s always nitpicking. She doesn’t respect me.” → They feel resentful.

Same event. Totally different stories. Totally different emotions.

---Try this when you're upset:

1. Name the event. Just the facts. What actually happened?
2. Spot the thought. What did you tell yourself about the event?
3. Name the feeling. What emotion came up when you believed that thought?
4. Ask yourself: Could there be another way to look at it?

---Here’s your next step:

This week, whenever you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed, pause and break it down:

Event → Thought → Feeling

Just noticing the difference gives you breathing room. And in that space? That’s where change begins.

You can't always control what happens. But you can learn to choose how you respond.

That's real power. And it's already inside you.

To Reach Out:
Email: info@jerusalemtherapy.org
Phone: 053-808-0435
International: +972538080435

23/10/2025

When you’re upset, it’s easy to feel like your emotions are running the show.
That’s because they are.

Feelings are on automatic pilot—they come and go without asking your permission.
But here’s the good news:
You can change everything around them—your thoughts, your body, and your environment.

--- Step 1: Change the Environment
When things get heated with your spouse, hit pause.
Take a short break. Step outside. Get a drink of water.
It’s not running away—it’s giving both of you space to breathe before words do damage.

---Step 2: Change the Physiology
Once you’ve stepped away, focus on your breathing.
Try paced breathing—in for 4, out for 6.
It slows your heart rate, sends oxygen back to your brain, and helps you think again instead of just react.

---Step 3: Change the Thought
Before you walk back into that conversation, make a plan.

Ask yourself:

- How can I validate my spouse’s feelings?
- How can I make things right?
- How can I express my needs without repeating what went wrong 20 minutes ago?

That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.

--- Next time your emotions hijack the moment, don’t fight the feeling.
Change what surrounds it.
Your breath. Your space. Your story.

You’ll come back calmer—and ready to love better.

To Reach Out:
Email: info@jerusalemtherapy.org
Phone: 053-808-0435
International: +972538080435

- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics. He received his rabbinic ordination from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits.

Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.

He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.

Ever feel stuck in the same fight on repeat?You say one thing, they say another… and somehow you both end up in the same...
21/10/2025

Ever feel stuck in the same fight on repeat?
You say one thing, they say another… and somehow you both end up in the same hurt place again.

Here’s the secret no one tells you:
You don’t have to wait for your partner to change before things get better.

Relationships are like dances—when one person changes their rhythm, the whole dance shifts.

Step One: Start with You
Even if your partner isn’t ready change on their end or big talks, you can shift the pattern.
Replace defense with calm.
Replace blame with curiosity.
When you move differently, the emotional music changes.

Step Two: Watch the Ripple
They’ll feel it. Maybe they can’t name it, but they’ll notice the softer tone, the safer space.
One steady step from you can invite one from them.

A Simple Example:
Your spouse says, “You never listen.”
Your reflex wants to defend: “That’s not true!”
But instead, you take a breath and say,

“I want to understand—tell me again.”

Just like that, the dance changes. Because you did.

Love doesn’t need both sides to shift at once.
Take the lead. Change your step.
You might be surprised how quickly the rhythm follows.

To Reach Out:
Email: info@jerusalemtherapy.org
Phone: 053-808-0435
International: +972538080435

- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics. He received his rabbinic ordination from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits.

Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.

He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.

19/10/2025

In your relationship you see something isn’t right—there’s cold distance. You see you're both growing apart. Worse, the same predictable fights keep rearing their ugly head. When you try to bring it up, your spouse brushes it off, insisting there’s no problem. This dynamic can be torture, leaving you wondering if it’s worth going to therapy alone. After all, isn’t a relationship something that needs to be worked on together? Surprisingly, going to therapy on your own can still be incredibly effective, and there are two key reasons why.

First, your willingness to grow and work on yourself can inspire change in your partner, even if they initially resist. By actively engaging in self-reflection, making small but noticeable changes, your partner will feels the positive effects, even indirectly. They see you bringing new energy, patience, and understanding into the relationship. It will naturally make them curious. Where did thiscome from? It’s like a positive ripple—your efforts can be contagious. Over time, they might even feel motivated to participate, seeing that therapy isn’t about blame or fixing someone but about fostering a more fulfilling connection together.

Second, relationships are systems, and each person is a part of that larger whole. Think of it like a complex machine, where changing one gear affects the entire mechanism. When you adjust your behaviors, reactions, and approaches, the dynamics between you and your spouse inevitably shift as well. By doing this work, you can create a more harmonious environment where, even if your partner hasn’t changed, the relationship as a whole feels different. By taking those steps on your own, you have the power to transform not just yourself but the whole relationship, paving a new path for both of you.

Yonasan Bender LCSW - Psychotherapist
📱: 053-808-0435

- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics. He received his rabbinic ordination from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits.

Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.

He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.

In this DBT Quick Tips video we introduce the Distress Tolerance skills.  You can think of these skills like a fire exti...
05/10/2025

In this DBT Quick Tips video we introduce the Distress Tolerance skills. You can think of these skills like a fire extinguisher behind breakable glass. We only use them in case of an emergency. These powerful skills are only meant to be used when all other skills have failed and you simply don't know what to do. Once more calm, you have the temporary flexibility to shift into one of the other many DBT skills covered in this series.

To Reach Out:
Email: info@jerusalemtherapy.org
Phone: 053-808-0435
International: +972538080435

- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics. He received his rabbinic ordination from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits.

Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.

He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.



In this DBT Quick Tips video we introduce the Distress Tolerance skills. You can think of these skills like a fire extinguisher behind breakable glass. We ...

IntroductionImagine a legal clause that suddenly looks up from its checklists like precision and says, “God Himself will...
01/10/2025

Introduction
Imagine a legal clause that suddenly looks up from its checklists like precision and says, “God Himself will testify about you.” In the heart of Hilchot Teshuvah 2:2, which takes pains to define and source the necessary steps towards teshuva, the Rambam drops that startling line “He Who knows the hidden will testify” and then marches on, leaving readers to wonder what, exactly, just happened.

This essay follows that flash of deceptive-looking poetry into its halachic and philosophical depths. First, it maps out three classic readings of the testimony clause—literal, covenantal-witness, and descriptive—and weighs their strengths and pitfalls. Next, it tests each against the Rambam’s uncompromising doctrine of free will clarifying why God’s testimony cannot be, as it seems at first blush, a deterministic guarantee. Armed with greater clarity of this phrase, it will be shown how this line’s placement between regret and confession functions within the Rambam’s step-by-step arc of repentance. Finally, to enhance clarity of the Rambam’s position and to couch it in a broader discussion of the tension between free will and determinism there will be a brief review of three Rishonim: Rav Saadia Gaon, Ralbag, and Rabbenu Crescas. These three stand in distinction with the Rambam on three key levels regarding the nature of God and how far free will and divine knowledge of the future extend. What will emerge in this essay is a yardstick, of sorts, for sincere teshuvah that can withstand the scrutiny of the Knower of Secrets without surrendering the dignity of our fundamental mission to choose life and not death.

“He Who Knows the Hidden Will Testify” in Light of Free Will
In Hilchos Teshuvah 2:2, the Rambam defines teshuvah by describing the process one must undertake to complete it:

“What constitutes teshuvah? That the sinner should abandon his sin and remove it from his thoughts, and resolve in his heart never to do it again, as it says (Yirmiyahu. 55:7), ‘Let the wicked abandon his ways…’ Likewise, he must regret the past, as it says (Yermiyahu 31:19), ‘After I returned, I regretted.’ He Who knows the hidden will testify about him that he will never return to this sin again, as it says (Hoshea 14:4), ‘We will no longer say to the work of our hands, “You are our gods.”’ He must verbally confess and say these matters which he resolved in his heart.”

This outline takes a sharp poetic pitstop with the striking phrase, “He Who knows the hidden will testify” before getting back on the procedural path. While the other three stages are instructional, this middle step stands apart in several ways. Not only is it simply not instructional but it also changes perspective from what the individual must do to what Hashem does. No elucidation or theological implications are offered. Yet, just like the other steps it’s given a scriptural source making it hard to say it’s there for flair. Given the Mishnah Torah is a legal text for us and not God, this oddity in the text raises three questions:

1. How do we describe what this “testimony” means, precisely? Is it a literal divine declaration, symbolic affirmation, or something else?
2. How can “testimony” one will never sin again be reconciled with the Rambam’s views on free will?
3. Why is this phrase placed between regret and confession?

The Testimony: An Interpretive Approaches
Three approaches tackle what this testimony is, exactly. Benei Binyamin, Kovetz al Yad Chazaka, Nachal Eitan, and Maaseh Rokeach take this statement at face value. Hashem does indeed accompany a person on his process of teshuvah, quite literally. This position connects Rambam’s phrase to the midrash in Yalkut Shimoni Hoshea 532 where the Jewish people ask Hashem, “If we repent, who will testify for us?” God replies, “I will testify.” Only God, who knows the inner heart, confirms the penitent’s sincerity.

This position’s strength is its fidelity to the plain wording of the text resisting the impulse to soften it into metaphor. Supported by the midrashic precedent, grounding Rambam’s words in a recognized rabbinic tradition, it reinforces an image of teshuvah as an intimate process with God as an active participant in one’s personal transformation. Even when we are the farthest from Hashem, He is always there ready to accompany us on our journey home. Yet, this literalist reading faces serious challenges as it raises slight tension with the Rambam’s explicit insistence in Hilchos Teshuvah 5–6 that free will is never annulled. Also, the inclusion of divine action is out of place in this halachic code.

A second position sees this phrase as metaphorical. The Kesef Mishnah, understands the proof text of Hoshea 14:4 as illustrating the sinner’s own act of taking God as witness. This understanding is especially in light of the previous verse, “Take words with you and return…” (Hoshea 14:3). Thus, this phrase is covenantal and not a metaphysical guarantee. The Lechem Mishnah describes how this approach avoids contradicting the Rambam’s concept of free will which is entirely in the hands of man. God’s “testimony” is the sinner’s solemn acceptance of God as his witness much like, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you” (Devarim 30:19) blocking the theological trap of determinism that this is a divine promise such a person would never sin again.

This position has clear advantages. It sidesteps theological contradictions making the testimony an act within human control. It also preserves the legal coherence of the Mishnah Torah by keeping it as an actionable step that aligns neatly with the Hoshea prooftext which reads naturally as human speech to God. However, it also has weaknesses. It strips the phrase of its extraordinary quality underplaying the strong wording that suggests more than a human pledge. Also, it does not fully integrate the rich imagery of the Midrash where God Himself vouches for the penitent.

The last approach, of the Divrei Yirmiyahu, is this phrase is descriptive. A true scenic route on one’s journey towards teshuvah gemurah. Here the Rambam is speaking about teshuvah me’ulah, akin to King David’s repentance in Shmuel II 12:13 where, “The Lord has removed your sin; you shall not die.” In agreement with the above position, “Testimony” is not a metaphysical suspension of free will but an expression of the relative, though not definitive, moral certainty achieved through total transformation.

The strength of this view is it preserves the almost lyrical force of the Rambam’s phrase without violating free will offering a psychologically sensitive account of how one’s moral state can approach certainty of non-relapse. Yet it too faces limits as it is difficult to verify such a rarefied state from the inside. It also lacks the sense of concrete instruction of integrating the “testimony” into practical teshuvah and risks redundancy with the earlier stage of resolving never to sin again making it appear more a flourish than a separate halachic element.

The Free Will Question
Taking this phrase as a divine guarantee raises a gigantic theological problem for the Rambam given his uncompromising stance in Hilchos Teshuvah 5 and 6. On the one hand, the Rambam asserts free will is absolute. No one is decreed righteous or wicked. Each of us can become as righteous as Moshe or as wicked as Yeravom. All reward, punishment, and prophetic admonition presuppose free choice. On the other hand, God’s omniscience does not negate human freedom. How Hashem’s foreknowledge and our free will coexist is beyond comprehension but both are foundational truths. Some challenging verses do exist implying divine compulsion but the Rambam explains these as exceptional cases where God punishes entrenched wickedness by closing the gates of teshuvah. Crucially, he makes clear withholding repentance is a consequence of prior willful sin and not a divine override of original freedom casting these examples within the framework of free will.

Looking at the Rambam’s Shemoneh Perakim, we can glean more precisely what the Rambam means by free will. For him, it is a divinely sanctioned power to choose good or evil in the moral domain of action and in the development of belief. While beginning in the emotional of “fear of Heaven,” the Rambam does not see free will as merely a feeling or an intention but as a clear, concrete, and manifestable human behavior. Everything else—weather, health, stature, physical circumstances—falls under the order of Heaven, but in the moral sphere Rambam insists the choice and consequence in action are wholly ours treating freedom as a trainable capacity of the soul that one can actively strengthen or degrade.

Free will, then, is a constitutive feature of being human axiomatically rooted in the Torah’s words, “Behold, man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil” (Bereshis 3:22). It is the hinge upon which the entire halachic system turns. Without genuine alternative possibilities actually existing in potential, Torah law, reward and punishment, and the very possibility of teshuvah would collapse. However, the Rambam insists this freedom is not a denial of nature’s fixed order nor is cancelled by divine foreknowledge. In this way, the Rambam’s definition of free will is maximal as a real trainable power of moral self-determination integral to the justice of halachah.

The Implications of Free Will
Rambam insists repeatedly man’s choices always remain his own, God does not determine righteousness or wickedness, and reward and punishment rest on voluntary action. Thus, when Rambam says, “He Who knows the hidden will testify,” this cannot mean God deterministically guarantees the sinner will never fall again. Instead, the commentators suggest three possible reconciliations.

The first is the covenantal-witness model. This view has a literalist and metaphorical version. The literalist read, advanced by Benei Binyamin, Kovetz al Yad Chazaka, Nachal Eitan, and Maaseh Rokeach takes the phrase at face value wherein God Himself actually testifies. To remain consistent with Hilchos Teshuva 5 and 6, this would be evidentiary attestation of a present, inward state, not decretive guarantee of future behavior accompanying repentance without causing it. The metaphorical version on this model, put forward in the Kesef Mishnah and Lechem Mishnah, makes the testimony a formal act of the individual himself within the process of repentance where he takes God as witness to his resolve invoking the Divine, not as a coercive force, but as the guarantor of one’s solemn promise. God’s role, in either view then, is more juridical-symbolic rather than determinative.

The second approach, offered by the Divrei Yirmiyahu, treats the testimony as descriptive of the present moral state of the penitent where the transformation is so complete that relapse appears unimaginable, though metaphysically possible. Rambam is sketching what complete repentance looks like from a divine vantage, not suspending choice.

The third approach, not yet addressed above and only hinted at in Tzafnas Pa’neach, sees this testimony as a kind of spiritual certification similarly framed to the first position’s literalist read with a slight nuance. When teshuvah arises from love rather than fear, God’s “testimony” functions as verification that teshuvah is complete akin to a halachic status determination. In the same way that a rav can assert an animal is fit to be offered as a korban, this does not preclude the possibility that in the future the animal may later develop a blemish. This approach straddles the line between halachic precision and theological elevation where at the highest level of teshuvah is a state of complete purification. This approach’s strength is it honors the halachic nature of Rambam’s code while still acknowledging the elevated theological imagery. It allows “He Who knows the hidden” to retain its divine force, since only Hashem can certify the heart’s inner transformation and yet it avoids any compromise of free will since the future remains open. The weakness lies in its abstraction. It situates the phrase at a level that is rare and rarefied making it more of an ideal than a practical step.

Qualitatively, this psak-framing differs from the literalist view in that instead of God attesting to an already-present sincerity, He renders a status judgment that constitutes the penitent as standing in teshuvah gemurah. Also, in the courtroom-role-shift from witness to judge Hashem is not reporting, so to speak, a personal subjective experience but deciding the halachic standing of the inherent status of the person and how others ought to see him as. These two points, cumulatively, show the witness-framing to be a weaker assurance. However, even despite the psak lens being more forceful as conceptually similar to objective truth, it still preserves freedom by operating in the present tense as certification and not a promise.

Strengths and weaknesses of each position aside, in all three views, the Rambam’s principle of free will is preserved. Divine testimony either reflects the sinner’s own declaration, describes his present transformation, or affirms the process has reached the level of teshuvah gemurah. None imply the individual loses the capacity to sin again in the future.

Here, the Shemoneh Perakim again illuminates the Rambam’s thought explaining how he holds omniscience and free will together without contradiction. If God infallibly knows today that one will sin tomorrow, then is it not so that one must sin and cannot be free? Rambam’s resolution is to deny God’s knowledge functions like human knowledge. Divine knowledge is identical with God’s essence, neither temporal nor discursive, unlike our composite, sequential cognition. Because it is sui generis, applying human categories of cause and necessity to it is a categorical error. Thus, “God knows” does not entail “man must.” We can affirm both truths of God’s perfect knowledge and man’s free choice while admitting we cannot supply the mechanism of their reconciliation since that would require penetrating the divine. Moreover, Rambam distinguishes between natural and moral causation in that God authored a stable natural order but does not micromanage each moral choice. Within the sphere of “fear of Heaven,” human agency is real and undetermined.

The Psak of He Who Knows the Hidden will testify
Given the above, a clearer and implemental understanding of this hilchos teshuva 2:2 emerges. The five elements listed are a single escalating process-oriented arc with each step being a prerequisite to the next, not a flat checklist. First comes abandonment of the sin which is the behavioral break that halts ongoing damage and interrupts habit. Next is the inward resolution for the future, an identity-level commitment that re-orients will. Rambam places this ahead of regret because genuine remorse ripens only after the deed has been decisively ceased and one has begun to habituate to the good. Regret then reframes the past from the standpoint of a reconstituted self as a moral cognition that the prior act was truly misaligned with the good. The phrase “He Who knows the hidden will testify”, the fourth step, is best read as the apex criterion that crowns this interior work laying down the internal motivational groundwork for the last step of verbal confession – coming full circle with the reemergence of behavior; the core conceptual pattern in all of the Rambam’s thinking where external action leads to internal thought reemerging as behavior in a sort of infinite moral regress loop emulating the divine process of creation where the physical brings about transcendence that then transforms the physical. Whether as a covenantal self-commitment before God, a description of a present state of transformation that even Heaven would acknowledge, or a status-verification of teshuvah, this step functions to ensure regret reaches full maturity before speech formalizes it. This step in teshuvah, then, is the requirement of one attempting full integration by drawing all the disparate parts of one’s psychology into a single unified focus. In one internally unified voice, the verbal confession externalizes the raw energy of this integrated inner process into crystal clear form as a juridical act sealing the return, giving halachic form to what has been achieved in deed, will, and heart.

Read this way, this phrase is neither extraneous poetry nor a digression in the hidden mysteries of the divine. Rather, it provides halachic guidance calibrating the quality-threshold for charatah and kabalah le’atid. One must shape his resolve and remorse until he could, in good faith and without hubris, “take God on as a witness,” or until his present moral stance is so stable that, from a divine vantage, relapse is morally unthinkable even if, in principle, free will remains. The clause sets an aspirational but legally meaningful yardstick. Aim for a teshuvah with the sincerity that would withstand the scrutiny of the Knower of Secrets. This understanding also explains its placement before confession since this inner work is necessary in order to give confession its full legal voice.

Rambam’s Stance Amongst Rishonim
The Rambam refuses to buy peace between free will and Hashem’s knowledge of what is by shrinking either. This paradox is fortified behind the walls of divine simplicity that God’s knowledge is not like ours coexisting with free choice (Hilchos Teshuvah 5:5; Moreh Nevuchim I:68; III:20–21). The broad strokes of this position can be found earlier in Rav Saadia Gaon’s Emunos Ve-Deos, Treatise IV. While the Gaon of Sura doesn’t split the difference between free will and divine omniscience either, unlike the Rambam, he pushes forward boldly asserting axioms about the nature of Hashem as opposed to hunkering down behind negative theology. Given humanity is the center of creation and the addressee of command, reward, and punishment our distinctive intellect makes us genuinely responsible (Emunot Ve-Deos IV, Intro–ch. 2). Our freedom to act is real and this ability was given to us as a divine corner of the universe in order to emulate Hashem. Cumulatively on the basis of not only reason but also the straight forward phenomenological felt sense of our experience of this power, such as the simple experience of how we clearly determine for ourselves if we wish to speak or be silent and this mastery of our actions does indeed manifest, numerous scriptural demands to “Choose life”, and from tradition (IV:4) it is clear Hashem does not act for us and we are the engine of our actions.

Hashem knows each human act “as it will in fact result” from our deliberation and is not caused by our actions. Had one chosen, in theory to turn left instead of right, His timeless knowledge would have matched that alternative. His knowledge has tracked the way one’s life will unfold until the end but not by fate nor by forcing the outcome (IV:4). In special exceptions where Hashem does interact in the world by decree, this is limited to only outcomes but not the process. This caveat preserves the boundaries of free will. Death and loss may be decreed by God, but murder belongs to the murderer and theft to the thief (IV:5). For Rav Saadia, free will is always inviolable. Yes, the ends can be established, the stage can be set, and one’s abilities increased or decreased, but the will itself to choose and do is untouched.

Two other positions are worth noting. While Rav Saadia expands the realm of what is possible to know about Hashem, the Ralbag limits His divine knowledge and Rabbenu Chasdai Crescas limits Free will. Looking at the Ralbag, first, freewill is preserved as the Rambam but limits God’s knowledge. In Milchamos III.1–III.3 he presents numerous objections to the Rambam’s idea of Hashem’s omniscience over contingents and is unimpressed by his radical disanalogy between God’s knowledge and ours seeing it as a verbal escape hatch. If divine knowledge doesn’t behave like knowledge at all then on what grounds can this term be used at all? Rambam’s Godly knowledge, if applied to people, would be at best fantasy and at worst considered confusion and outright error. Avoiding this equivocation pitfall, the Ralbag limits God’s knowledge as being posterior in an analogical sense to make room for both divine simplistic immutability and genuine contingency that are not determinate truth-conditions. God knows natures, laws, orders, and all necessary consequences. He knows every possible condition and outcome but not the undetermined upshot of a genuinely free choice as a determinate fact before it occurs. Once the act is done, however, God knows it as actual. Before then, He is only aware of it as one of several open possibilities fixed by the universal order He perfectly comprehends (Milchamos III.2–III.3).

Rabbenu Chasdai Crescas offers a third position. In Or Hashem (II.5), he asserts what is possible exists in a thin vale given God’s total knowledge. As such, every physical event is necessarily determinant and what we experience as choice only exists on the level of emotion and only where there is an absence of felt coercion. For Rabbenu Crescas, Pirkie Avos 3:19 statement, “everything is foreseen and yet permission is granted” is only permission to a small subset of feelings that are backed by conviction over instinct (II.5 ch 1-4). From this determinist position reward and punishment are only in reference to the love, joy, eagerness, or aversion one internally has towards truths and the motivational desire to act. What happens between one’s heart and hand is Hashem’s business (II.5 ch. 5).

This same measure holds true when looking at one’s culpability in their beliefs. Even here it is the devotional relish one brings in how they orient themselves in knowing God that matters (II.5 ch. 6). The actual propositionally held belief itself is not relevant. Thus, if a person’s cognition, a product of all the previous determinant causes that led up to it, currently compels him to think “God does not exist,” yet he resents and fights that conviction, then he is functionally a**s because it was the causal chain and not emotionally motivated conviction which forced his belief. By contrast, when disbelief in Hashem is owned and loved, negligently cultivated motivationally refusing correction outside of a causal chain which could also produce the same outcome of resistance, or is used to justify vice only then does this cross the threshold into blame. In this view, given the importance antecedents are given, mitzvos function as causal instruments that direct, shape, and refine the will’s delight. The paradoxes of unqualified omniscience with providence along with preserved moral responsibility encased in a prison of meaningless action all spin on the axis of the human heart (II.6 intro-ch. 2).

Returning to the Rambam’s “He who knows the hidden will testify concerning him that he will never return to this sin again” how would these three giants have meant this phrase if their hands were on the pen? Rav Saadia Gaon provides the assurance the Rambam can stand on. Ralbag, by contrast, would see the testimony as God’s knowledge of the general principles and moral dispositions now present in the person, from which relapse is not impossible (Milchamos Hashem III.2–3). Despite the philosophical differences, in the final analysis Ralbag too would not see this statement as deterministic. Rabbenu Crescas, while conceding the person may never act out a sin, this is of little relevance. Since responsibility is grounded in the noncoerced motivation of one’s will (Or Hashem II.5–6), the testimony is only speaking about these sorts of feelings which are also out of Hashem’s control. In sum, while each thinker resolves the tension differently—Rambam and Rav Saadia by paradox, Ralbag by restricting foreknowledge, and Crescas by restricting freedom – all would ultimately concur that this phrase cannot be legitimately referring to Hashem controlling one’s behavior assuring teshuvah is deterministically secure. While all agree Hashem knows the future in some sense, each carve out an untouchable space for free will.

Conclusion
“He Who Knows the Hidden Will Testify” is not a rhetorical flair or poetic twist. It’s a deliberate marker of the motivational apex necessary to push teshuvah forward. Ceasing the behavior and even emotional regret are only the beginning steps. Put another way, teshuva is not reflection on one’s past nor updating one’s moral compass in the present. Instead, it is a life choice that looks towards the future with the goal of radically changing one’s fundamental character. In that sense, Hashem witnessing the creation of a new being intuitively makes sense as it, in of itself, is a divine act of creation.

The testimony, as an image, illustrates what complete teshuvah looks like. Admittedly, this level may remain elusive to some but this high standard is not relevant when articulating the archetypal nature of what teshuvah is in its fullest sense. After all, the beginning words of this halacha poses the question of what teshuvah is. By definition, it must be presented in its full aspirational sense but even at the height of the Divine gaze, the ontological possibility of choice is never denied. In this way, the poetic-seeming clause is not a digression but an integral theological and legal statement in image, showing teshuvah culminates not only in human resolve but also in the recognition of that resolve before the One who searches all hearts.

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- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics. He received his rabbinic ordination from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits.

Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.

He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.

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Building a Life Worth Living

Every human being is a world with infinite potential. Warm, effective, research-based therapy empowers men and women to build lives of meaning. Focused on strengths and possibilities rather than limitations, Rabbi Yonasan Bender LCSW helps individuals and couples to tackle serious issues like anxiety, depression, insomnia, anger management, parenting, marriage, personality disorders and trauma to get life back on track.

Call Rabbi Yonasan for a consultation at 053-808-0435 or email jerusalemtherapy@gmail.com to share your story, ask questions, or just to learn more.

Thanks to Roman Kriman of JerusalemShots.com for the beautiful cover photograph. (http://www.JerusalemShots.com)