Micki Lavin-Pell: Loving Wisely

Micki Lavin-Pell: Loving Wisely Micki Lavin-Pell is dedicated to helping people create dynamic, successful relationships from the st

Micki Lavin-Pell offers Marriage Therapy and Relationship Coaching for people who want to create dynamic, healthy relationships. Micki helps people unleash their barriers so that they can create a relationship they can feel proud of. Create the relationship you want by learning what you need to know even before you find love!

Some people don’t just care - they manage.They track moods, soften words, anticipate reactions, and adjust themselves to...
06/02/2026

Some people don’t just care - they manage.
They track moods, soften words, anticipate reactions, and adjust themselves to keep others comfortable.

This often comes from learning, early on, that peace depended on your behavior.
So you became careful. Attuned. Responsible for feelings that weren’t yours.

But empathy doesn’t require self-erasure.
You can care deeply - without carrying what isn’t yours to hold. 🤍

Choice can feel empowering - until it becomes exhausting.When there are endless options, it’s easy to start comparing, d...
03/02/2026

Choice can feel empowering - until it becomes exhausting.
When there are endless options, it’s easy to start comparing, detaching, and doubting what you feel.

Connection doesn’t deepen through searching, it deepens through presence.
Noticing how something feels is more important than wondering what else is out there.

You don’t need the perfect option.
You need a real connection you’re willing to stay with long enough to know. 🤍

When something feels unclear, it’s easy to blame yourself.Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you expected too much. Maybe yo...
01/02/2026

When something feels unclear, it’s easy to blame yourself.
Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you expected too much. Maybe you “read it wrong.”

But when someone’s behavior is inconsistent, confusion isn’t a mistake - it’s a response.
Mixed signals don’t create clarity. They create doubt.

Feeling unsure doesn’t mean you’re bad at reading people.
It often means you’re trying to find certainty in a situation that doesn’t offer it.

Clarity feels calm.
And when it’s missing, it’s okay to stop questioning yourself - and start questioning the dynamic. 🤍

Many people don’t ignore their feelings - they delay them.They hope it will pass, that it’s not “that serious,” that the...
30/01/2026

Many people don’t ignore their feelings - they delay them.
They hope it will pass, that it’s not “that serious,” that they can handle it.

But when your needs are minimized, they don’t disappear, they build.
And eventually, they come out all at once.

Waiting isn't a weakness.
It often means you learned that your needs weren’t welcome unless they were urgent.

Learning to speak earlier is a form of care - for yourself and for your relationships. 🤍

Intensity can be beautiful - but it isn’t always intimacy.Strong feelings don’t automatically mean deep safety.Sometimes...
27/01/2026

Intensity can be beautiful - but it isn’t always intimacy.
Strong feelings don’t automatically mean deep safety.

Sometimes what feels exciting is actually emotional unpredictability, and what feels “boring” is simply calm.

Intimacy doesn’t shout.
It stays.
It listens.
It makes space for you to be yourself - without fear. 🤍

Replaying a date isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about wanting reassurance.You’re scanning your memory for signs: Did t...
25/01/2026

Replaying a date isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about wanting reassurance.
You’re scanning your memory for signs: Did they like me? Did I say the wrong thing? Did it mean something?

When connection matters, your nervous system looks for safety.
So it replays moments, hoping to find clarity where there isn’t any yet.

You’re not broken for overthinking - you’re human in uncertainty.
With time, trust grows not from analyzing every moment, but from noticing how you feel over time. 🤍

Needing reassurance doesn’t mean you’re insecure or dependent - it means you’re human.We all need reminders that we’re s...
23/01/2026

Needing reassurance doesn’t mean you’re insecure or dependent - it means you’re human.
We all need reminders that we’re seen, valued, and emotionally safe.

The shame often comes from past experiences where needs were dismissed, minimized, or made to feel like a burden.
So instead of asking, you criticize yourself for wanting it at all.

Reassurance isn’t a flaw, it’s a request for connection.

In the right relationship, your needs won’t feel embarrassing. They’ll feel welcome. 🤍

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt can come from generosity - but when it becomes a habit, it’s worth pausing.Are y...
20/01/2026

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt can come from generosity - but when it becomes a habit, it’s worth pausing.

Are you being patient… or are you protecting yourself from a hard truth?

You don’t need more explanations to justify how something feels.
Your experience already matters. 🤍

For many people, shutting down isn’t a lack of emotion, it’s self-protection.When expressing feelings once led to confli...
18/01/2026

For many people, shutting down isn’t a lack of emotion, it’s self-protection.
When expressing feelings once led to conflict, rejection, or feeling misunderstood, your nervous system may have learned that staying quiet is safer.

In those moments, your body isn’t choosing distance - it’s choosing safety.
But over time, silence can create the very disconnection you’re trying to avoid.

Learning to speak your feelings gently and gradually is a skill, not a personality trait.
And it’s something that can be rebuilt. 🤍

Dating has a way of turning self-doubt up louder than usual.Suddenly you’re questioning your words, your timing, your wo...
16/01/2026

Dating has a way of turning self-doubt up louder than usual.
Suddenly you’re questioning your words, your timing, your worth.

This isn’t because you lack confidence - it’s because dating puts you in a position of uncertainty, and uncertainty can activate old fears of not being chosen.

Your value doesn’t change based on someone’s response.
Healthy dating should support your sense of self. 🤍

When you care, it’s natural to want to help someone understand themselves.But if you’re always explaining their behavior...
13/01/2026

When you care, it’s natural to want to help someone understand themselves.
But if you’re always explaining their behavior to them, it may be a sign you’re carrying more than your share.

Clarity comes from mutual effort - not emotional over-functioning.
You deserve to be met, not managed. 🤍

Sometimes, just as a connection starts to feel safe, the urge to pull back appears.Not because something is wrong, but b...
11/01/2026

Sometimes, just as a connection starts to feel safe, the urge to pull back appears.
Not because something is wrong, but because closeness can activate old fears.

For some people, intimacy brings up a fear of losing independence, control, or emotional balance.
Needing space isn’t a flaw - it’s often a signal that vulnerability feels unfamiliar.

The work isn’t forcing yourself to stay or to leave.
It’s learning to notice what closeness brings up, and allowing space without disappearing. 🤍

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