04/05/2022
HEALING, BEYOND HEALING...
Sometimes, when you heal,
your body gets all ‘better’.
Infections leave. Wounds disappear.
You feel happier. Brighter.
More positive.
Sometimes, healing looks very, very different.
An infection or growth stays.
An old pain resurfaces.
You don't feel 'healed' at all.
You feel worse than ever.
Powerful, uncomfortable feelings emerge.
Rage.
Deep sorrow.
Terrors you never knew were in you.
(Ah, but they were, friend, they were...)
This is healing, too. This falling apart.
This coming alive.
This shattering of repression.
The image of 'healing' falls apart.
(The image was false, anyway.)
Trust.
Trust the energies that are moving through you now.
You may feel 'worse', yes,
but you are getting better at living.
You are experiencing a deeper kind of healing,
one which doesn't match the mind's definitions and fantasies.
This is a reintegration.
A death... and a rebirth.
Darkness emerging into light.
All the bits you ran away from,
coming to you now
for love and acceptance.
Throw away your childhood fantasies of healing.
Fall apart. Lose the future.
Die into the Now.
Break apart for love.
You are whole, even though
your dreams are being shattered.
This is true healing, then:
Recontacting the Wholeness
that you are.
- Jeff Foster
