Counselling Psychologist 'Ruchi'

21/11/2025

Research shows that many children learn to suppress their emotions not because they’re naturally calm, but because they were taught their feelings are “too much.”

They’re hurting silently because the adults around them told them ...
“Stop crying.”
“Don’t be angry.”
“You’re fine.”
“Go to your room if you’re going to act like that,”

Their brain isn’t learning emotional regulation.
It’s learning emotional suppression.

Their mind is learning:
“I’m not allowed to feel this.”
“My emotions make others uncomfortable.”
“I should deal with this alone.”
“Calm means hiding, not healing.”

According to Gross & John (2003), suppressing emotions increases stress, decreases authentic regulation, and leads to poorer social and emotional functioning.
Emotion doesn’t disappear when buried; it leaks out later as anxiety, irritability, explosive anger, or numbness.

Research shows that naming and validating feelings activates neural pathways that support emotional regulation and decrease distress (Lieberman et al., 2007).

Healthy emotional regulation doesn’t come from shutting emotions down. It comes from being guided through them.

So instead of:

“Stop crying.”

Try:

→ “You’re upset. I’m here.”
→ “Your feelings make sense.”
→ “Let’s figure this out together.”
→ “It’s safe to feel what you feel.”

You’re not raising a child who fears their emotions. You’re raising a child who can navigate them.

Your words, tone and body language are very important to navigate emotion and behaviour in a positive direction for the healthy growth of an individual.

21/11/2025

Survival responses for emotional Trauma are fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

A person doesn't consciously choose how to respond. These instincts are automatic survival responses wired into our brains.

CBT, EMDR, Hypnotherapy, Trauma therapy can help us to cope with emotional trauma.

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20/11/2025

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15/11/2025

A new Harvard study suggests that children who regularly do chores at home tend to grow up more independent, responsible, and successful.

Early exposure to work builds essential life skills like
- time management
- teamwork
- empathy
- a stronger work ethic
- excel academically
- develop leadership skills
- maintain long-term career satisfaction.

The study reinforces a simple message: everyday habits like cleaning, cooking, or doing dishes can play a powerful role in shaping confident and capable adults.

Source: Harvard Study of Adult Development

16/10/2025

Happy to share our new biz "Steer-U"app launch (stay tuned), providing Instant future prediction and psychotherapy services. 🎉
Avail offer by sending a free question with birth details on SteerYourHappiness@gmail.com.

10/09/2025

Your words shape your brain's reality.
Your words are the software for your brain. Do you want to update the software for your brain?

Neuroscience shows that the language we use—both out loud and in our self-talk—doesn't just describe how we feel; it actively rewires our neural pathways, reinforcing either loops of anxiety and limiting beliefs, or cycles of resilience and growth.

Stop harming your potential with these 7 common but toxic phrases.

1. Instead of: "I'm so stressed."
Try: "I'm excited." (Both states produce similar physiological arousal; reframing anxiety as excitement tricks your brain into a challenge mindset).

2. Instead of: "I have to..."
Try: "I get to..." or "I choose to..." (This shifts a task from a burden to an opportunity or a conscious decision, reducing resistance and activating reward circuits).

3. Instead of: "This is a disaster."
Try: "This is a challenge to overcome". (Catastrophizing triggers the threat response. Framing it as a "challenge" engages your problem-solving prefrontal cortex).

4. Instead of: "I can't do this".
Try: "I haven't mastered this yet". (Adding the simple word "yet" promotes a growth mindset, convincing your brain that ability is malleable and can be developed).

5. Instead of: "Don't forget..."
Try: "Remember to..." (Your brain better processes positive commands. It struggles to visualize "not forgetting" but can easily picture "remembering").

6. Instead of: "I'm terrible at this".
Try: "What can I learn from this"? (This moves you from a fixed, judgmental state to a curious, learning-oriented one, which is far more productive for the brain).

7. Instead of: "It's not my fault".
Try: "What's my role in this solution?"
(Defensiveness keeps you stuck. Shifting your phrases even in a small way, activates your brain's executive functions and empowers you to move forward).

By consciously choosing language that supports your nervous system, you build mental muscle and cultivate a mindset primed for clarity, calm, and capability.

This isn't just positive thinking, it is strategic thinking.

08/09/2025

02/09/2025

Every time you move, whether it’s walking, dancing, or vacuuming, you flood your brain with dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Experts call it a “neurochemical bubble bath,” a natural mood-lifter that eases stress within minutes.

But the benefits go beyond the moment. Regular movement helps your hippocampus grow new cells and strengthens your prefrontal cortex, sharpening memory, focus, and decision-making while protecting the brain from age-related decline.

The best part is you don’t need marathons, just joyful activity. Dance in your living room, garden in the sun, or walk with friends. Small, consistent movements build lasting brain health.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS IN YOUR CONTROL

Source/Credit: Neuroscience research on exercise and brain plasticity

31/08/2025

Childhood experiences shape more than just our memories, they can have lasting effects on physical and mental health. Research shows that children who are forced into adult roles too early, such as taking care of younger siblings or handling excessive household responsibilities, often carry psychological burdens well into adulthood. These experiences, sometimes referred to as “parentified childhood,” can influence emotional patterns, stress responses, and even long-term health outcomes.

One of the most significant impacts is on how these children relate to rest and self-care. Having grown up feeling responsible for others’ wellbeing, they may struggle with guilt when taking time for themselves. This sense of perpetual responsibility can make it difficult to establish boundaries in adulthood, leaving individuals vulnerable to chronic stress. Over time, persistent stress and emotional strain can dysregulate the immune system, increasing the risk of autoimmune conditions where the body mistakenly attacks its own tissues.

Parentified children often develop heightened empathy, resilience, and adaptability, but these strengths come with hidden costs. The constant need to prioritise others’ needs over their own can lead to burnout, anxiety, and difficulty recognising personal limits. They may also find it challenging to assert themselves in relationships, career settings, and social situations, further perpetuating stress and emotional exhaustion.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial for breaking the cycle. By recognising the signs of early parentification and its long-term consequences, individuals can work toward setting healthy boundaries, practising self-compassion, and managing stress more effectively. Therapy, mindfulness, and structured self-care routines can help retrain the mind to accept rest without guilt and develop healthier coping strategies.

This research highlights the intricate connection between early life experiences, emotional wellbeing, and physical health. It reminds us that childhood responsibilities matter not only for development but also for long-term resilience. Addressing the hidden consequences of early adultification can empower individuals to reclaim balance, protect their health, and cultivate emotional and physical wellbeing throughout life.