06/05/2020
What makes a marriage work for both people who are in it?
Most people feel, a couple should have compatibility, chemistry, love, understanding, similar traditions, passions or interests, respect for each other and the list goes on.
My experience is marriage works if two people can be friends with each other, who can lift each other from the ground, who can stand the test of time and patience, who are equal and can trust each other with their decisions and encourage or gently help them look into their actions.
Marriage can be kept alive if and only if both the partners are willing to upgrade and find each other to be their home. Upgrade is a process, respect the process and have patience with the time it takes, believe in the outcome and accept its the best outcome for both irrespective of whether its what they wanted or not.
The process of upgrade is not the same for everyone nor the timeframe it takes, but the result of the upgrade can be for the best interest of not only two of them but for the larger families which are interconnected.
Will everyone upgrade? Well, if they are open to upgrade. I felt and found that most people are scared of upgrade and that they will leave back the dear ones if they upgrade, I was one of them at a point in time. Everyone is given a wild card to upgrade at different time points in life. if a partner rejects the wild card with an intention of staying with the other and the other partner receives a wild card and decides to upgrade, thats when we see conflicts, imbalance in relationships. What happens after this event is either the couple will split because of incompatibility reasons and one of the them feels bitter about it which could be the one who chose not to upgrade, or both of them upgrade and feel like a new version of their self.
What happens when one of them upgrades and the other runs to catch up, lets say they do catch up, but feel disgusted to chase the other they may end up feeling bitter (or feeling happy) to have to caught up and if they dont catch up, they feel unvalued and rejected.
What happens when you find your newself? you may chose to walk away from the current relationship and chose a new one and doing this will be harmonious for both of them and a lot of them around. Or you may fall in love again with your current relationship and will stay in love high.
Compatibility is a continuous process. What fit 20 years ago wont fit today, whats fitting today, wont fit after 10 years. Upgrading is a deeply spiritual process. To go through all these permutations and combinations we need to have a solid foundation of friendship which helps retain the balance of our mind, heart and head and saves a lot of drama. If not one may feel that relationship survived but friendship died.
Dedicated to those couples who are still friends despite being married !!!
Love and Light
