14/03/2024
A quick reminder; being gentle as a parent, doesn’t mean being a permissive pushover. Nor does it mean you (think you) are perfect.
I understand the need for attention grabbing headlines and extreme examples, and I get that attacking Gentle Parenting is an easy way to get publicity to sell your own work (which actually is pretty much exactly the same as Gentle Parenting 🤷🏻♀️), but the truth of the matter is that this style of parenting is anything but extreme. Frankly, it’s a little dull. It’s monotonous. It’s hard work. It doesn’t produce quick results and it doesn’t make for contentious, dramatic accounts.
I rarely recognise social media examples, or descriptions in articles, billed as ‘gentle parenting’, as the style I write/talk about, in fact I recognise them more as a permissive style.
Most importantly though, Gentle Parenting is absolutely NOT about having no control over your children. It is absolutely NOT about letting them do what they want, having few or no boundaries, and avoiding saying “no”.
You actually say “no” a lot. You make your children cry sometimes when you discipline them, or work to keep them safe. That’s unavoidable. You have routines and predictability to the day.
You also don’t have to be a martyr and sacrifice your emotional or physical health for your children. It’s about balance and compromise.
Finally, you don’t need to be an earth mother/father. You don’t have to be naturally calm/zen (or natural anything TBH). It’s OK to lose your temper now and again and it’s OK to want/need time away from your children.
Gentle Parenting simply sits in the authoritative space, along with most modern styles of parenting that place an emphasis on being informed about child development/neurological capabilities, showing respect to children, collaboratively solving problems and working on regulating your own emotions as an adult.
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