26/10/2025
In Japan we often praise gaman 我慢—stoic perseverance. As an ER doctor, I saw how waiting too long out of stoicism could sometimes make things worse. That made me question whether "just enduring" is always helpful.
Last week, a friend taught a class where the concept of 捨 / Equanimity was discussed. I used to think it meant letting go by feeling less—detaching from desire—like gaman shutting down emotion. It's actually not indifference. It's a trained steadiness that helps us stay connected and act wisely, without being yanked around by fear or hope.
Instead of denying and enduring, it's caring deeply with an even, steady heart— especially when you can't control everything.
For cancer survivors and carers, turbulence can be daily: scans, side effects, waiting rooms, worries. Equanimity doesn’t erase the waves—it helps you surf them without drowning.
What it isn’t:
Not indifference (that’s numbness).
Not passivity (steadiness lets you act wisely, not react from panic).
Why it helps:
Everything changes:. A steadier mind means less reactivity.
Cause & effect: we own our actions; we can care without trying to control everything.
More room for compassion without burnout—and for joy without gripping.
Practical uses:
Test results—good or bad: Celebrate or grieve, without letting either story define your future.
Flare-up day: Acknowledge the pain, then choose one gentle step (call a friend, nap, short walk).
Caregiver spiral: Pause before trying to fix everything. Offer presence first, solutions second.
A 60-second reframe:
I notice: Name what’s happening (thought, feeling, body).
I feel: Allow it for three breaths—no fighting, no fixing.
I can: Choose one balanced step (pause, kind word, clear boundary).
You don't have to endure everything with gaman. You don't have to control everything. It can be hard, you can care and meet it with peace and equanimity.
At Tokyo Cancer Clinic, we combine advanced cancer immunotherapies with lifestyle medicine to help patients thrive, not just survive. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out.