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Adjustment Guidance Nagoya Therapist, 1 Chome-14-10 Yamada, Nagoya-shi (2025)

27/10/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/recognizing-trauma-responses-fight-flight-freeze-and-fawn/

Trauma can be caused by a lot of different experiences and can result in post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). The main difference between PTSD and CPTSD is the origin, duration, and types of traumas that are causing the lingering effects. With PTSD it is generally one event, and CPTSD is generally multiple events over an extended period. Trauma is caused by our ability to cope being overwhelmed. Traumatic events cause PTSD and CPTSD when our coping abilities remain overwhelmed for an extended period, leaving us feeling frightened, helpless, and unsafe long after the event is over. To cope with this feeling of overwhelm, one or more of four coping strategies come into play: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. When we are recovering from PTSD, CPTSD, or general trauma, these trauma responses can pop up any time we feel triggered. Once we have experienced trauma, our trigger response becomes more sensitive because our sense of safety has been damaged. Our understanding of danger has changed.

To cope with our new understanding of danger and what leads to dangerous situations, our nervous system deploys one of the survival strategies of fight, flight, freeze or fawn based on our life experience. These responses are automatic processes that our nervous system has learned will keep us safe. Knowing what each response looks like and how they show up in daily life can help us better understand our responses, triggers, and trauma. A fight response is about de-escalation through confrontation. It can manifest as being quick to feel irritation, feeling defensive when receiving feedback, and always trying to win in a discussion or argument. It can also manifest as being snappish or verbally aggressive and in some cases even physically aggressive. In fight mode, standing your ground feels like survival. While fight is about not losing ground and using aggression to control and de-escalate the situation, flight is about escaping. Flight manifests as avoidance and is an attempt to outrun discomfort and run to safety. One of the most common ways flight manifests is through keeping yourself so busy that you don’t have time to think. Another is ghosting or avoiding contact with others when feeling overwhelmed.

The third response, freeze, often manifests as avoidance of starting things, your mind going blank, feeling disconnected, or feeling stuck. This is your mind hitting the breaks and your nervous system keeping you safe by not changing anything in the moment of overwhelm. Fawn on the other hand is about becoming the ultimate people pleaser. Fawn is about avoiding conflict by erasing your own needs. It manifests as saying yes even when you mean no, going along with the group, and laughing off hurtful comments. These four survival skills and trigger responses are all about staying safe. Knowing how they manifest allows you to identify situations that make you feel unsafe. When you notice yourself fighting, fleeing, freezing, or fawning in daily life, pause and ask; why do I feel unsafe? Ask yourself: is the current situation unsafe or is it reminding you of a past situation. Ask yourself what you need to restore your sense of safety and then be compassionate and do your best to give yourself what you need. Over time, noticing, asking yourself what you need, and then care-taking yourself will reduce trigger responses and help you connect with your current safety. If your current situation is unsafe, start to make a plan to change it and get help. You don’t have to do this alone.

Trauma can be caused by a lot of different experiences and can result in post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). The main difference between PTSD and CPTSD is the origin, duration, and types of traumas that are causing the lingering effects. With PTSD...

20/10/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/striving-for-excellence-is-better-than-striving-for-perfection/

Striving for excellence, paying attention to detail, and holding high standards are all valuable traits that contribute to success. But it is important to understand the difference between perfection and excellence. At first glance, perfection and excellence may look the same because both reflect high standards. Yet in practice, the difference between them can make or break personal growth, career satisfaction, and mental health. Perfection is flawlessness. It’s a standard where nothing can be wrong, and no mistakes are allowed. While it can push us to deliver impressive results, perfectionism is often rooted in fear of failure, judgment, and not feeling good enough. The perfectionist view is “If it’s not perfect, it’s worthless.” The perfectionist focus is on avoiding mistakes, hiding flaws, and coming as close to flawlessness as possible rather than achieving success. Perfection often traps people in a cycle of “never enough,” where achievements are dismissed because something could always be better. The myth of perfectionism is that it will result in top-notch results that are thorough and polished. The truth of the matter is quite the opposite over the long term.

Over the long-term, perfectionists struggle with overthinking that often result in delays that slow down productivity. Constantly striving for flawlessness is mentally and physically exhausting, often resulting in burnout. Co-workers may feel micromanaged or pressured when a perfectionist’s standards are imposed on them, damaging team dynamics. This pressure erodes performance and well-being over time. In contrast, excellence builds confidence and brings out the best in everyone because the focus is about doing our best within realistic boundaries. Excellence values quality and improvement, but it leaves space for learning, mistakes, and growth. Unlike perfection, excellence is not rigid. Excellence encourages effort and progress. An excellence mindset is about doing our personal best. Excellence focuses on growth, continuous improvement, and meaningful achievement. Excellence is not about being flawless; it’s about being dedicated and intentional in your efforts.

Shifting from a perfectionist mindset to an excellence one will reduce burnout. In the beginning, the goal isn’t to eliminate perfectionism, but instead to make slight adjustments. Instead of perfect, aim for excellent. Understand that progress matters more than flawless ex*****on. Remember that mistakes are part of growth, not proof of failure. Ask yourself if your standards are achievable or if they’re fueled by fear of judgment. To help root out perfectionism, find a trusted feedback partner to break the cycle of over-refinement and reassure you that your work is strong. Acknowledge your accomplishments rather than only focusing on what could have been better. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your wins. With practice, you can transform perfectionism to an excellence mindset that supports both success and well-being.

Striving for excellence, paying attention to detail, and holding high standards are all valuable traits that contribute to success. But it is important to understand the difference between perfection and excellence. At first glance, perfection and excellence may look the same because both reflect hi...

13/10/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/how-to-create-a-daily-routine-that-supports-mental-health/

Building a daily routine that supports and promotes mental health and well-being begins the night before. Sleep is the cornerstone of good mental health. Good sleep hygiene looks different for everyone and begins with figuring out what your optimal hours of sleep are and then giving yourself the best possible chance of hitting that number every night. Sleep quality is as important as the number of hours slept. Having a comfortable pillow, bed setup, room temperature, light level, and sound level can greatly impact your sleep quality. Thinking about these factors and experimenting with different setups until you find your optimal one can greatly improve the number of hours you sleep and the quality of your sleep. Something that can improve sleep and our overall sense of well-being is exercise. You don’t need to go to the gym or walk 10,000 steps, but a light routine of stretching or some other coordinated movement helps reduce stress chemicals and calms the mind.

It might be a cliché, but cooking yourself at least one meal a week or more nourishes the body as well as the mind and signals to yourself that you are worth the effort. Going to the grocery store and looking at the fresh food and planning your meal signals that you care about yourself. Another true cliché is that it is important to stay hydrated, and this means drinking beverages that are caffeine free. Staying hydrated is super important for brain function. Dehydration causes impaired brain functioning, impaired nervous system functioning, and impacts mood regulation. In addition to feeding, moving, and hydrating the body, we should also be sure to take care of our hair, skin, and nails. Having a wellness routine that includes cleaning, exfoliating, and moisturizing our hair, nails and body can become time spent focusing on pampering ourselves. Such routines can become time set aside with intentions that help reduce stress and shut out negativity. We need time each day to quiet the noise and focus ourselves. We also need to be sure we are shutting off our autopilot and checking in with ourselves with a daily reflection of what went well and what we would like to improve for tomorrow.

Part of our reflection should include an exploration of if we set and held boundaries at work and in our personal lives. Did we uphold our personal standards? Are our standards realistic, and they do they allow for trial and error? Are we keeping perfectionism at bay? Do we know that mistakes are a learning opportunity? These questions help us connect with ourselves and set healthy expectations for ourselves and others. When we understand ourselves and set healthy expectations of ourselves and others, we reduce disappointment and resentment. Understanding our needs, including our social needs, is an important part of our well-being. Knowing where you sit on the introversion-extroversion spectrum can ensure that your time spent with others and alone recharges your social battery. Having the wrong amount of social connection greatly inhibits peace of mind. Thinking about your needs thoughtfully and proactively greatly improves overall well-being. Centering yourself and being intentional allows you to look at what works in your life and what doesn’t.

Building a daily routine that supports and promotes mental health and well-being begins the night before. Sleep is the cornerstone of good mental health. Good sleep hygiene looks different for everyone and begins with figuring out what your optimal hours of sleep are and then giving yourself the bes...

07/10/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/anxiety-vs-stress-knowing-the-difference/

Stress and anxiety are usually paired together or used interchangeably, but it is possible to experience stress without anxiety and vice versa. While stress can feed anxiety, they are two very different things. Stress is our bodies' response to pressure, insecurity, and demand and is generally a reaction to a specific situation or relationship dynamic. Stress is generally time limited and associated with deadlines and decisions. Mild stress can be motivating and helpful by focusing the mind. When stress reaches an unhealthy level, it can cause headaches, muscle tension, repetitive thinking, and insomnia. These are the same physical reactions we experience when anxious, but stress tends to be more time and situation limited whereas anxiety is much broader. Anxiety lingers beyond a specific event or situation. With anxiety, once the triggering event has passed, the feeling of unease persists leading to replaying it in our mind for weeks, months, or even years. Anxiety often makes it feel impossible to move on.

Anxiety distorts cause and effect and puts everything under a magnifying glass. Anxiety touches every aspect of life and is not limited to a specific dynamic or relationship and casts everything in a negative and dangerous light, disturbing our ability to experience peace of mind. In addition to the symptoms that overlap with stress, anxiety can cause a racing heartbeat, dizziness, a clammy feeling, ringing in the ears, cloudy thinking, and restlessness. Anxiety is like a slight buzzing in the background that is almost always present. Anxiety is heavier, harder to control, and far more disruptive to daily life than stress is. Both stress and anxiety should not be left to linger. Both have a negative impact on relationships and psychical health. Knowing the difference between stress and anxiety can allow you to shortcut the negative feedback loop. There are some similarities to coping with both but also some key differences. Stress is much more responsive to practical solutions such as making a to do list, breaking projects down into smaller parts, or talking things over with a friend or partner.

Anxiety on the other hand requires us to first ground ourselves. Finding the right grounding technique for you will take trial and error. For some, mindfulness, tapping, or meditation works. For others, using the 5-4-3-2-1 method, visualization, or personification works. Knowing that finding the right grounding technique for you is a process will help stave off frustration. A good grounding technique will shift your focus away from intrusive thoughts, creating space for you to regain your sense of safety. Once you have grounded yourself, then focus on one thing you can do to improve your situation. Focusing on one thing brings the problem and solution into manageable dimensions. Focusing on what you can change will highlight your talents and help you reclaim your power. We all have pockets of skills, and focusing on the positive aspects of your skills and how that can improve your life will reduce overall anxiety. Knowing the difference between stress and anxiety can help reduce both and have more good days than bad.

Stress and anxiety are usually paired together or used interchangeably, but it is possible to experience stress without anxiety and vice versa. While stress can feed anxiety, they are two very different things. Stress is our bodies’ response to pressure, insecurity, and demand and is generally a r...

29/09/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/what-therapy-is-and-what-its-not/

It seems like everywhere I look people are talking about therapy, and they are getting a lot right but also getting a lot wrong. So, I thought it might be helpful to talk about what therapy is and what it is not from the perspective of a therapist. One of the biggest misconceptions is that therapy is only for people who are facing a major issue or problem. While it is helpful for those who are dealing with a major life crisis or issue, it is equally helpful for those who just want a safe place to get to know themselves better. The number one thing therapy provides is a safe space. There are a few foundational principles that ensure therapy is a safe place with the biggest being confidentiality. For me, that means I never confirm or deny that anyone is my client, and I never repeat anything a client tells me. The next cornerstone is objectivity. A good therapist puts their personal needs and expectations to the side to focus on what you need. Your needs and your goals are the priority. Good therapy is not about a therapist telling you what to do. It’s about working together to understand patterns, uncover insights, and letting go of behaviors that do not serve you.

Therapy is about helping you feel more connected to yourself, others, and your goals. For some, it is about learning tools to manage anxiety or depression. For others, it’s about gaining clarity, building resilience, or repairing relationships. Sometimes it’s a blend of all of these skills, but it is always about you. Sometimes there are instant results with progress being made after a single session, and other times it takes ongoing work. Going to therapy does not mean you are broken; it means you’re seeking understanding, compassion, and healthier ways forward. Therapists shouldn’t tell you which job to take, whether to break up with your partner, or how to live your life. Instead, they help you explore your own values and guide you toward decisions that align with who you are. Sometimes that looks like asking the hard questions, and other times that requires listening to you while you explore and unpack your thoughts and feelings. Therapy is not about being “fixed”, it’s about being supported. It’s a space where your struggles are taken seriously, your growth is nurtured, and your story is honored.

Therapy can sometimes provide an instant solution, but most changes take time. A therapist is not a magician who can magic up the perfect job, relationship, or fixes for every life problem, but they can help you discover how to have more good days than bad. Therapy is not about being criticized or shamed. It’s about being understood and supported. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit. You can talk with a therapist because you want growth and self-discovery. Therapy isn’t a passive process but rather a partnership. Engaging openly and actively in the process is how to get the most out of it. A good therapist will challenge your thought process and challenge you to let go of the things that do not serve you. You don’t have to work on your life goals or issues alone. Therapy provides a safe space for you to do the work while being supported.

It seems like everywhere I look people are talking about therapy, and they are getting a lot right but also getting a lot wrong. So, I thought it might be helpful to talk about what therapy is and what it is not from the perspective of a therapist. One of the biggest misconceptions is that...

22/09/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/how-to-know-when-a-relationship-is-worth-fighting-for/

Every relationship experiences ups and downs. When things get really bad or have been difficult for a while, deciding whether to leave or stay can be challenging. If your relationship no longer offers growth and support, this may be a temporary breakdown or a sign that it has run its course. A lack of respect and no intimacy make this decision even more complex. It might be helpful to know that most relationships have periods of closeness and distance. It is also natural to feel like giving up if respect and intimacy are lacking. Respect and intimacy are often cited as the foundation of a healthy relationship, but their absence doesn’t always mean the relationship is over. Why and how respect and intimacy faded in the relationship is an important factor in determining if the relationship is worth saving. Prolonged periods of stress, unresolved conflict, or unmet needs can erode intimacy and decrease respect. The key to fixing things is for both partners to be willing to do the work. Both partners need to be honest with themselves about their willingness to do the work to save the relationship.

Something that often surprises the couples I work with is the fact that most relationships require about 6 months of work with at least one partner willing to go first. This means one partner has to make the initial sacrifice and give their partner something meaningful. I always have at least one big ask at the beginning of the therapy process to serve as proof of concept. I mix in one on one sessions and joint sessions to ensure that each partner has space to vent and release anger. Having a private space to express negative feelings is essential. Relearning how to have generosity and patience with each other is a process and achievable. Some couples are able to do this on their own through honest conversation and shared commitment to repairing the relationship, others need support. Whether couples do this on their own or with help, finding common ground is essential. Where are you still functioning as a team? Are you co-parenting, caring for a pet, working towards a shared financial goal? Is there a shared goal worth fighting for?

Are respect and intimacy truly gone, or are they buried under resentment? I find that, with a lot of couples, unpacking resentment and addressing the issues that have created conflict reveals that there is a spark of love underneath the pain. Love isn’t enough on its own, but it can be an excellent motivator in the rebuilding process. With shared goals and love, we have a foundation for rebuilding trust, vulnerability, and emotional safety. All three are necessary for rebuilding intimacy. That is another part of big asks: it gives us space to show that we will do what we commit to doing for each other. These examples of trustworthiness are essential in the process because there will be backslides. Progress is not a straight line because we are unlearning negative automatic responses. As we do the work to change, we also need the grace and understanding that we will make mistakes. We are not going for perfection but rather steady progress.

It is important to note that not every relationship is safe. If communication has become abusive and you’re experiencing manipulation, cohesion, and ongoing betrayal, staying may not be safe or healthy. Fighting for the relationship should never mean sacrificing your emotional or physical well-being. Your safety must come first. If you are safe and have a shared goal, the lack of intimacy and respect is either the beginning of the end or the beginning of the work to repair the relationship. If both partners are willing to do the work, there is hope. If you’re unsure where your partner is, ask them. The ability to talk openly about where the relationship is can often spark a commitment to change. If you’re unsure where you are, talk to someone and explore your feelings. Knowing if you want to do the work is a big part of the process. Even if there are shared values, they might not be enough. Know that you deserve to make a decision that protects and honors your well-being.

Every relationship experiences ups and downs. When things get really bad or have been difficult for a while, deciding whether to leave or stay can be challenging. If your relationship no longer offers growth and support, this may be a temporary breakdown or a sign that it has run its course. A lack....

16/09/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/the-difference-between-stress-burnout-and-depression/

The words stress, burnout, and depression are often used interchangeably, but there are significant differences between the three. Understanding the difference can help us form a plan to reduce stress and burnout or heal from depression. By knowing if we are suffering from stress, burnout, or depression, we can better identify the origin of our struggle. For example, stress is part of our natural alarm system designed to keep us safe. Knowing that, we can examine why the body is telling us we need to be on high alert. Stress often feels like physical tension and comes with racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, and sleepless nights. Often, stress is a by-product of not trusting ourselves to handle challenging situations and dynamics. Doing the work to understand that you are capable and safe will be a big step towards reducing stress.

Long term stress can turn into burnout, but stress is not the only reason we experience burnout. When we over commit and overextend ourselves, we are more likely to experience burnout. We can experience overexertion in our professional and personal lives by taking on too much. It can be too much time, too many responsibilities, or too much emotional labor. Some key indicators that you are feeling burnout are emotional exhaustion, a sense of detachment, increased pessimism, and physical exhaustion. Doing a self-assessment and asking yourself if you are overextending and then finding places to cut back will help reduce burnout. Stress and burnout can lead to depression, but they are not the only causes.

It is important to address stress and burnout as part of keeping depression at bay. Depression is more than feeling a little down; it is a persistent feeling of hopelessness. Indicators of depression include feeling empty, a lack of interest in life friends and family, as well as feelings of worthlessness. Depression doesn’t always have a clear cause and can lead to thoughts of self-harm. Having someone to talk to can make a big difference when coping with depression. Doing one thing a day that creates hope for the future can also help. Know that you don’t have to do this alone. Getting help can make a significant impact in coping with stress, burnout and depression. You deserve to have more good days than bad.

The words stress, burnout, and depression are often used interchangeably, but there are significant differences between the three. Understanding the difference can help us form a plan to reduce stress and burnout or heal from depression. By knowing if we are suffering from stress, burnout, or depres...

08/09/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/holding-back-a-major-depressive-episode/

If you have ever had a major depressive episode, you are 80% more likely to experience another one. Understanding the four types of major depressive episodes and key indicators that a depressive episode is on the horizon can help us prevent a major depressive episode. The five types of major depressive episodes are melancholic, atypical, psychotic, and persistent. Melancholic depression is marked by a feeling of emptiness, an inability to experience joy, difficulty sleeping, and a persistent feeling of guilt or worthlessness. In contrast, atypical depression is marked by sleeping more than usual, weight gain, an increased fear of rejection or criticism, and ability to feel only fleeting joy when something good happens.

Because when struggling with atypical depression we can often feel joy, this type of depression is often misdiagnosed. Whereas psychotic depression requires immediate medical intervention, those with atypical depression are not in immediate danger. A psychotic depressive episode is marked by visual or auditory hallucinations and delusions. This form is very serious and requires immediate medical treatment because of the increased risk caused by severely impaired decision-making. Both atypical depression and persistent depressive disorder can be long lasting. Persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) is a chronic depressive disorder that last for two or more years. The severity of symptoms can vary from mild to severe and include low energy, hopelessness, difficulty concentrating, and a persistent feeling of sadness.

Knowing the types of depressive episodes allows us to be aware of early warning signs, such as changes in sleep, appetite, motivation, and energy. Early awareness allows us to act before symptoms escalate. It is also important to build and maintain supportive relationships with friends, family, or a therapist because depression thrives in isolation. Finding the right type of stress management is also key. Exploring mindfulness techniques, journaling, and relaxation practices can help you find the right methods for you. Reducing stress is key to strengthening resilience and managing anxiety before they trigger depression. With awareness, support, and proactive care, it’s possible to hold back a major depressive episode and move toward recovery with greater confidence.

If you have ever had a major depressive episode, you are 80% more likely to experience another one. Understanding the four types of major depressive episodes and key indicators that a depressive episode is on the horizon can help us prevent a major depressive episode. The five types of major depress...

25/08/2025

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog: https://adjustmentguidance.com/why-is-depression-heavy/

Depression is profoundly physical and feels physically heavy because it is. Depression isn’t just in our minds; it’s in our nervous system, our hormones, our muscles, our entire nervous system. When we talk about depression, we talk a lot about serotonin and dopamine but rarely unpack norepinephrine. Norepinephrine, also known as noradrenaline, is responsible for the regulation of arousal, attention, and cognitive performance. Low levels of norepinephrine cause drowsiness and inattentiveness. Whereas high levels lead to anxiety and distractability. Norepinephrine also controls muscle contractility, which accelerates the onset of muscle fatigue and the feeling of psychical heaviness. Depression also impacts the ability to digest food, sleep, and fight off illness.

Once we understand why depression feels heavy, we can do some practical things to increase our norepinephrine. The most impactful thing we can do is eat foods rich in the amino acid tyrosine and omega-3 fatty acids such as cheese, soybeans, beef, lamb, pork, fish, chicken, nuts, eggs, dairy, beans, pumpkin seeds, and whole grain. Talking with a nutritionist about how to increase these essential nutrients and check to see what other nutritional deficiencies we may have can help replenish our reserves. Taking short cold showers can also help. Bursts of cold water have been shown to increase norepinephrine. Focusing on small changes that can have a big impact on lightening the weight of our depression can allow us to have a slight boost toward breaking free.

I believe that the more we know about the chemical impact of depression, the more empowered we become. If you’ve ever suffered from depression or are struggling now, you know how difficult it can be to make changes. Sometimes new information or a perspective other than our own can provide a tiny spark that can become the light to guide you out of the tunnel of depression. If you are feeling depressed, I promise this is not your forever. We just need to find the right piece of knowledge that speaks to you and creates hope. You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Depression is a complicated whole mind and body event. It is complex, but it’s also temporary.

Depression is profoundly physical and feels physically heavy because it is. Depression isn’t just in our minds; it’s in our nervous system, our hormones, our muscles, our entire nervous system. When we talk about depression, we talk a lot about serotonin and dopamine but rarely unpack norepineph...

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