10/11/2016
THE POETRY OF BATTLING WITH BIPOLAR. By. Tami D. Frost.
“IT”
I wear the mask of normal while inside torn apart
I awake each day not knowing in what mood I may start.
As I try hard not to let IT take control of my head,
some days without warning IT takes all of me instead.
Each time IT comes to visit I’m afraid it will show
the ugliness and hatefulness IT always has in tow.
Each time this feeling hits me, inside my head I shout,
please stop, I’m scared and go away never come back, stay out!
I feel as though I’m losing it, falling off the edge.
But somehow, someway I manage to just teeter on that edge.
My heart starts pounding as my mind races,my thoughts are out of control, I feel as though I’m someone else and they’re trying to take my soul.
I know if I hang in there, myself will reappear
and just as quickly as IT started, IT just might disappear.
I do and say things I regret, and to myself that’s such a threat.
I feel at times that no one truly understands,because even I have questions, and that it’s out of my hands.
But with my faith in God, my son ,My friends, family and a little care, I feel I have a chance at life, and I know I have a lot to share.
God has blessed me in many ways, and I owe my life to Him.
He was my rock and guider, when I wanted to give up or in.
But that would be giving in to, the IT I feel is sin.
Bipolar is a disorder that consumes your
every thought, and when in the grasp of ITs strong control,
you say things, do things, act in ways you never thought were possible.
The thought of IT having control, is almost an unbearable thought.
People just don’t understand, that IT comes and IT goes,
when we least expect it.
And can cause an otherwise normal, dare I say, person
to sin cause violence and literally lose their mind.
But with the right care and medicine,we as the holder of IT,
can live a life as close to normal, as we will ever be allowed.
Never quit, and never give in or up.