Psychotherapy & Workshops. Specializing in seggsuality, addiction & relationships. By appointment.🌳
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22/01/2026
Ending the week with this beautiful post on how to practice more self-compassion.🥰Giving yourself compassion doesn’t mean that you are becoming “soft” or not able to handle things like a “boss”. Giving yourself compassion allows you to gently encourage yourself to remember how awesome you are, that you need rest, that it is ok to not have all the answers right now, and to give you room to trust yourself in making life choices that are right for you. Treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. You deserve grace too.
Have a beautiful day and take care of you.
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21/01/2026
Growing up, and especially when I was being bullied in school, I remember the adults around me would say “sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you”. As an adult and as a therapist, I can say that words are so powerful and can definitely 💯 hurt.
The words we use can impact us and others positively or negatively. This is why it matters how you talk to yourself (and to others) and the words you use are just as important too. Affirmations are positive, present-tense statements designed to challenge negative thought patterns and consciously rewire the brain through neuroplasticity. When used consistently, they target the limbic system—the brain's emotional center—by reducing the reactivity of the amygdala (which handles fear and stress) increasing activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for self-regulation and rational thought.
Here are a couple of ways you can rephrase how you speak to yourself, and silence that inner critic that can be so harsh, that it can prohibit you from achieving what you would like to achieve. On a side note, please be mindful of the words you use with others, whether in person or online. Be kind.
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20/01/2026
In the world we live in today, so many things are and have become easier and faster…movies instead of books, 90 second reels instead of 60 min videos, dating apps instead of meeting people in real life, food and drinks delivered in 60minutes…all these things are awesome and make the world more convenient, efficient and smaller, especially socially.
Sometimes things that we really want or need can take longer to show up than we expect. We run out of patience, settle for something that is not for us, pursue things that keep evading us and even sometimes force things to happen.
There are some things that you cannot rush, and some beautiful things do take time, so work out how to get comfortable with waiting a little longer for things you feel you deserve. Even though everything these days can be obtained so quickly, doesn’t mean that everything will be right for you.
Have a lovely day.
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19/01/2026
It’s another Magic Monday and today I am sharing a post on the 5 levels of friendship that I found through jasonrewired.
The people we have in our lives, affect our nervous system and therefore our health. Not everyone we interact with is our friend and there are different levels of friendship too.
As we start the week, take stock of who is in your life and don’t forget to ask yourself what kind of friend you are too.
Have an amazing day.
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15/01/2026
Ending the week with this post that I found on Planned Parenthood on consent.
A “YES” can also become a “NO” at anytime, so listen to your partner and stop. I believe seggs is a responsibility for everyone involved therefore understanding what consent is and what coercion is, is super important.
No one is entitled to anyone’s body, whether you have been married for years or dating for months; so work with this understanding as you engage in seggs and seggsual behaviors safely.
Consent and safety is key.
Have an awesome day.
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14/01/2026
Normalize not forcing connections with people; whether romantic or platonic, casual or professional.
Don’t beg. Don’t persuade. Don’t romanticize on the potential of a connection with them. Let them go. Let them be. You will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s ok.
Healthy connections are reciprocal and make you feel uplifted, accepted, and secure, contributing positively to your overall well-being. They do not involve running-chasing dynamics; therefore if your efforts are not being reciprocated, take a step back. Also, if you are not interested in a connection with someone, be honest and tell them. And if you are on the receiving end of someone not wanting a connection with you especially in the way that you would like, accept that person’s decision and don’t try and convince them otherwise. The people who are for you, will show up in the way that you need them to.
Have a wonderful day.
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13/01/2026
Boundaries versus Ultimatums.
Boundaries are when you take responsibility for YOUR OWN safety, sanity and values, not to control the other person.
Example: I need advance notice for social plans.
In action: I can’t make it tonight, but I’d love to meet another time.
Ultimatums are when you FORCE a specific CHANGE or outcome from the other person.
Example: Get engaged by year end, or I’m leaving.
In action: If you don't propose by the end of the year, I'm breaking up with you."
Do either of these resonate?
Learn to discern when someone is trying to control or manipulate you. Learn to be true to yourself especially when what is being presented to you is not what you want.
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12/01/2026
Starting out the week with a gentle reminder to remember to include yourself in the list of things you need to take care of this week.
You matter. Your needs matter. Your boundaries matter. Your health matters.
Have a beautiful Magic Monday!
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08/01/2026
Ending the week with this beautiful depiction of “how you see yourself” versus “how you really are”. 🥰
Learn to calm your inner critic, they can be too harsh at times and may not allow you to see what other people see. Also, remember that if you are not able to see the good in you, no matter how many times someone tells you how awesome you are, you may not believe it. So, believe in yourself first, so that you are able to see yourself the way others see you, and much more.
Picture Credit: Urban installation no 132 in Milano by Andrea Olivari.
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07/01/2026
It’s the start of the year and if you managed to take a break over the holidays you may be feeling rested and rearing to go. 🥳 And, if you worked through the holidays you may start to feel a little burnt out by February. 😅
Take note of how your body and mind feels and please take a break before you get to the point that you are burning a candle 🕯️ from both ends. When I think of burn out, this is how I see it. Burn out is not an excuse, it is your body’s way of crying out for help and signaling you to rest. So if any of the signs resonate at some point, please don’t ignore them and take a break. Your body is the only home you live in every day, so invest in it like your life depends on it, because it does.
Have a wonderful day and Merry Christmas 🎄 to all those who will be celebrating Orthodox Christmas today! 🎉
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06/01/2026
If we are used to chaotic relational dynamics, avoiding accountability, having to prove our love or worthiness or inconsistencies in how we are loved and cared for; we may find that a healthy partner will feel distant, critical and even mildly uncomfortable.
Here are some unpopular behaviors of a healthy partner that may feel triggering depending on what kind of connections we have had in the past. And if you find this list irritating or uncomfortable you may want to check in with yourself as healthy partners will love you through your imperfections and they will also have boundaries and expectations around someone being safe, emotionally mature, and willing to put in efforts towards creating a healthy relationship.
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05/01/2026
It’s another gorgeous Monday in sunny Nairobi and today I want to share a post about how to support others with a little more kindness and compassion.
Although we may mean well, telling a friend or a family member to “stay strong” or “this is what God intended to happen” or even “everything happens for a reason” can sometimes not be the best way to offer support, even though you may believe it’s true. Here are statements that can better help a person feel comforted in a more compassionate way, so try these and see how they can make a difference.
Remember something can be true and still hurt to hear, so be mindful that sometimes people do not need unsolicited advice, they just need time to sit with what they are feeling, whatever that may be. How and when you use words matter, every time. Be mindful.
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About Cathy Holden and the Almond Tree Wellness Center, Kenya
Before I went to University; I started out not knowing what my life’s purpose would be, but knew it had to do with helping people be their very best version of themselves. I was fortunate enough to study in the United Kingdom and pursued two degrees; back to back; a BSc in Psychology and an MSc in Occupational and Organizational Psychology. I then ended up working in Human Resources in the UK and then moved back to Kenya after 15 years. I carried on working in Human Resources and by 2018 (after 13 years in HR practice) I felt that I needed a change so that I can impact more people by helping them directly. I then took on a new post graduate degree to be a certified S*x Therapist (Therapy Certification Association, based in Miami, Florida).
S*x is in integral part of any relationship and human s*xuality is vast; Do we always know what to do with our s*xuality? Do we know enough about it? These are all questions I kept asking myself for many years, which led to me opening a new business in 2019 - The Almond Tree Wellness Center based in Nairobi, with my office in Doctor’s Park, on 3rd Parklands Avenue, about 100 meters from Aga Khan Hospital.
S*x Therapy is not a new field but while I was growing up, s*x was not something that people talked about freely and I have made it my purpose to help people understand what s*x therapy is about, what a s*x therapist does (and does not do) and how it can help you and/or your partner. There is much more to say on this type of therapy and I am looking forward to sharing my knowledge and expertise with all of you.
I am a member of the Kenya Counselling and Psychological Association and the British Psychological Society. I provide a range of counselling and s*x therapy services and looking forward to meeting and helping as many people as possible.
