KinTSou Therapy

KinTSou Therapy KintSou Therapy is the brainchild of Souyenne Hackshaw a licensed therapist in St Lucia

20/12/2025

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” - Anais Nin

This isn’t a weakness. It’s a truth about being human.

We are wired for connection. For closeness. For being met.


And when love feels scarce, many of us learn to accommodate, soften, or override ourselves just to stay connected.

If you’ve ever said yes when your body whispered no,
if you’ve stayed when it cost you,
if you’ve mistaken endurance for intimacy, you didn’t fail. You adapted.

This quote reminds us that longing doesn’t disappear when it’s ignored.
It goes underground.

It shows up as exhaustion, numbness, resentment, or a quiet ache we can’t name.

Healing doesn’t mean removing the hunger.
It means learning to feed it without abandoning yourself.

You are allowed to want closeness and remain whole.
Slowly. Gently. One honest moment at a time.

 TraumaInformed EmbodiedLiving SelfTrust AnaisNin

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” Anais NinThis quote names something ma...
20/12/2025

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” Anais Nin

This quote names something many people quietly carry: the deep, bodily need for connection.

When love feels uncertain or conditional, we often learn to survive by accommodating, by staying agreeable, available, or silent about our own needs.

Not because we lack boundaries, but because connection once felt essential to safety.

If this resonates, it’s important to say this clearly: nothing is wrong with you.

Longing is not a flaw. Wanting closeness is not neediness. And protecting connection at the cost of yourself is a learned response.

This quote doesn’t ask us to stop wanting love. It invites us to ask a kinder question: What would it look like to stay connected without disappearing?

Healing intimacy isn’t about removing hunger.

It’s about learning to nourish it in ways that let you stay present, intact, and alive.

That kind of change happens slowly.

20/12/2025

How Overriding Our Boundaries Erodes Intimacy

When we talk about boundaries, people often imagine rules or ultimatums.
But boundaries are not about control, they’re about capacity.

A boundary is the body’s way of saying: this is what allows me to stay present.

Intimacy depends on that presence. And desire depends on choice.

Boundary collapse happens when the connection feels more important than honesty with the body.

When yes comes quickly, not because it’s true, but because it feels safer than risking distance or disappointment.

Over time, the nervous system learns that closeness requires self-abandonment. Desire doesn’t disappear; it goes quiet as a form of protection.

Listening to your body doesn’t mean dramatic change. Often it starts with noticing subtle cues: tightness, urgency, numbness, the impulse to accommodate.

If this feels familiar, nothing has gone wrong. These patterns are learned, relational, and deeply human.

Intimacy isn’t restored by trying harder. It returns when the body is included again, slowly, honestly, and with care.

 RelationalHealing TraumaInformed EmbodiedLiving SelfTrust KintsouTherapy

19/12/2025

Capacity vs. Boundaries

Capacity and boundaries are often confused, especially for people used to “handling a lot.”

Capacity is internal.
It’s how much your system can tolerate in a given moment.
And it fluctuates with stress, rest, history, and load.

Boundaries are external.
They are the edges that reduce how much your nervous system has to tolerate in the first place.

When we rely only on capacity, the body adapts by bracing:

holding tension longer
staying alert
pushing past sensation

That can look like resilience, but over time, it’s endurance.

If your body feels tired, irritable, numb, or reactive, that doesn’t mean you’re failing at self-care.

It often means you’ve been adapting internally instead of being protected externally.

This isn’t about doing less perfectly.
It’s about giving your system clearer edges.

A small practice:

Press your feet into the floor.
Feel the contact.
Notice where your body ends.

No fixing. No forcing.
Just orienting to your edges.

Small boundaries are still boundaries.
And they add up.

 
 RelationalHealth Capacity Kintsoutherapy

Capacity vs. Boundaries Many of us were taught to rely on capacity, to cope, adapt, tolerate, and push through.Capacity ...
19/12/2025

Capacity vs. Boundaries

Many of us were taught to rely on capacity, to cope, adapt, tolerate, and push through.

Capacity is internal. It’s how much your nervous system can hold in a moment, and it changes constantly depending on stress, rest, and history.

Boundaries are different. They’re external structures that reduce how much your body has to manage.

When boundaries are unclear, the nervous system often compensates by staying alert or braced. Over time, that can lead to exhaustion, irritability, or a sense of disconnection from the body.

If you notice yourself reacting more quickly or feeling depleted more often, that’s not a personal failure. It’s often a sign that your system has been working hard without enough protection.

You don’t need dramatic changes to begin shifting this.

A gentle practice:

Press your feet into the floor.
Feel where you’re supported.
Notice your edges.

Even brief moments of orientation help the body feel safer.

17/12/2025

What Happens When The Body Feels Expected Too…

Many people assume desire disappears because something is wrong with them.

But often, desire doesn’t leave, the body shifts into a state where sensation can’t stay.

When something feels expected, whether it’s to respond, to continue, to stay available,
the body organizes around output.

Breath shortens.
Attention moves outward.
Sensation fades.
That is what protection looks like.

Boundaries don’t force desire to come back.
They change the conditions that were asking the body to brace.

And for many of us, that’s unfamiliar territory.

If you’re early in this work, you might notice:

tension before you notice wanting
numbness where sensation used to be
desire that shows up only briefly, then disappears

That means your body is learning to stay safe by pulling back.

You don’t need big declarations or dramatic “no’s” to shift this.

Start small:

Notice one moment today where something has a clear end.
A conversation. A task. A touch. A rest.

End it before you’re depleted. Then notice what your body does.

That’s how trust and aliveness are rebuilt.


 


16/12/2025

Using The STOP Skill During Holiday Stress

Holiday stress has a way of pulling us out of ourselves.

More people.
More expectations.
More history in the room.
Less rest.

When your nervous system is under that kind of load, reactivity, shutdown, or overwhelm isn’t a personal failing, it’s a system trying to protect you.

That’s where the DBT STOP skill comes in.

STOP isn’t about forcing calm or suppressing emotion.

It’s about creating just enough space between what you feel and what you do next so choice becomes possible again.

Sometimes that space is one breath.
Sometimes it’s not responding yet.
Sometimes it’s deciding to do nothing, and letting that be enough.

If the holidays feel activating, this is a reasonable response to a loaded season.

Save this for the moments you need it.

Share it with someone navigating a full nervous system, too.

 


Using The STOP Skill During Holiday StressThe holidays can put a lot of pressure on the nervous system.There’s often mor...
16/12/2025

Using The STOP Skill During Holiday Stress

The holidays can put a lot of pressure on the nervous system.

There’s often more social contact, more expectations, and more emotional history paired with less rest and fewer routines.

When emotions run high under those conditions, it makes sense that reactions come faster or shutdown shows up more easily.

One skill I often share this time of year is the DBT STOP skill.

STOP is a pause skill. It helps create space between what you’re feeling and how you respond.

That pause is where regulation can begin again, not because you’ve forced calm, but because your system has a moment to reorient.

Using this skill doesn’t mean you’ll always respond perfectly.

It means you’re practicing intentionality instead of autopilot.

If you’re feeling stretched thin right now, nothing has gone wrong.

Your nervous system may be under pressure, and skills exist to support that.

Feel free to save or share this with someone who might need a gentler moment this season.

Conscious Movement · Wednesday’s Gift To Yourself This isn’t a place to push your body.It’s a place to listen to it.On W...
16/12/2025

Conscious Movement · Wednesday’s Gift To Yourself

This isn’t a place to push your body.
It’s a place to listen to it.

On Wednesday, we’ll move slowly enough to notice:
where you brace,
where you hold,
and what happens when you don’t have to.

No choreography.
No expectation to “do it right.”

Just guided movement, breath, and space to let your nervous system settle while you’re in motion.

If something in you softens reading this, that’s your body already responding.

Wednesday • 4:30-5:30pm • solsanctum • $35

16/12/2025

Boundaries aren’t walls.
They’re agreements with your body.

Many of us learned that boundaries meant shutting people out,being “too much,” or risking connection.
But from a nervous system perspective, boundaries are how connection becomes sustainable.

They help your body stay present, instead of bracing, collapsing, or overriding itself.

If boundaries feel hard, it’s not because you’re bad at them.
It’s often because your body learned to survive without them.

This week, empowerment doesn’t mean pushing.
It means listening.

✨ Where does your body already know the limit?

✨ What would honoring it protect?

That’s not withdrawal.
That’s self-respect.



“Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re agreements with your body.”This matters because many people associate boundaries with ...
16/12/2025

“Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re agreements with your body.”

This matters because many people associate boundaries with distance, conflict, or disconnection.

But in practice, boundaries are often what allow us to stay connected; without resentment, burnout, or self-abandonment.

When boundaries are missing, the body compensates:
• tension
• numbness
• irritability
• shutdown

Not as punishment, but as communication.

If setting boundaries feels confusing or activating, there’s nothing wrong with you.

Your nervous system may have learned that safety required staying available, agreeable, or quiet.

Empowerment this week isn’t about saying “no” more loudly.

It’s about noticing where your body is already saying enough, and letting that information matter.

Address

Rodney Bay
Gros Islet

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 14:30
Saturday 08:30 - 13:00

Telephone

+17587249991

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