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Joseph Antoncich - Family Therapist and Systemic Practitioner

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Joseph Antoncich - Family Therapist and Systemic Practitioner

Family & Systemic Psychotherapy for adults, couples & children. Clinics in San Gwann & Birzebbuga.

03/11/2025

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a huge anime fan. I had written some FB posts about the therapeutic messages in anime and since I miss writing them, I’ve decided to write a new one today.

⚠️ For those of you who have yet to watch this movie, be aware that there are some spoilers in this post. ⚠️

A little over a month ago I watched the movie Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle; a true masterpiece. As in every other part of this anime, there was an emotional story underneath the action and animations.

Two of the main characters, Akaza and Tanjiro, share something powerful in common. Both of them carry deep pain, loss, and grief, yet their paths couldn’t be more different.

🤜 Akaza’s tragedy hardened him. His pain turned inward until it became rage and he developed his strength to erase his sorrow. 🤛

🔥 Tanjiro, on the other hand, also knew unimaginable loss. Instead of closing himself off, he chose empathy. He turned grief into purpose. 🔥

Both were shaped by tragedy: One was consumed by it and the other was transformed through it.

And isn’t that the truth of healing? We can’t always choose what breaks us, but we can choose what we become after. Pain can build walls; or it can open doors. The direction we take with our emotions after heartbreak makes all the difference.

Choose the path that brings you peace, not just survival.

27/10/2025

One my favourite songs of the moment is Sink or Swim by OneRepublic.

“Are we gonna sink or swim?
Tide's getting high and we might go under.”

This song made me think about how often we stand at moments in life where we feel like we are going to sink or not make it through. In these testing moments, we may all feel it is easier to let the weight pull us under than to keep fighting against the current.

The truth is that these are the moments that shape us the most. The choice to keep moving, even when it hurts, is where real strength is built. You don’t always have to swim, sometimes floating can be enough to pull you through. You’ve made it through every storm you’ve faced so far. You can make it through this one, too.

So if you’re stuck in the water, unsure of your next move, remember: you don’t have to have it all figured out. Just keep swimming. 🏊

20/10/2025

During a recent trip I took with my family, I went on a whale-watching tour. The whales were incredible, of course, as was the sea-sickness 🤢

However, what really stayed with me was something completely unexpected: the story of the father Murre🐦‍⬛

I learned that when a baby Murre gets separated from its parent, the father will spend days calling out across the cliffs and ocean, tirelessly searching for his chick. He doesn’t stop — not until the baby answers back. That image stuck with me.

It made me think about the heart of fatherhood. The instinct fathers have to protect, to search and to guide, even when the way is uncertain. Fathers don’t always have all the answers, but the love that drives them to keep showing up, to keep calling out through life’s noise, is something profoundly powerful.

Since that day on the boat, I’ve been reminding myself: keep calling, keep showing up. Whether it’s for your children, your loved ones, or yourself, your voice matters more than you think. 💙

08/10/2025

Why are so many men angry?

For a large number of men anger is the only emotion they’re allowed to express.

Men do something very specific with emotions: They turn almost all emotions - sadness, fear, loneliness, shame - into anger.

Why? Because they’ve learned that sadness doesn’t work. Sadness is a signal: You can see it. You can hear it. It says: “I need help.” When a man shows sadness, what happens? He’s told to:

🫡 “Man up.”
😢 “What are you crying about?”
💪 “Grow a pair.”
😩 “You’re privileged, stop whining.”

Society doesn’t meet men's sadness with help - it meets it with mockery or indifference. So men learn that crying doesn’t solve anything, that nobody is coming.

Anger on the other hand gets noticed, it makes a statement, it’s a response that is not met with ridicule, but with fear. Anger is an emotion that helps give a sense of rectifying injustice. It motivates men to use anger to fix things that no one else will.

This is why male sadness so often becomes male rage; it is the only emotional language that gives men permission to do something.

We need to talk about this. Not to erase anyone else’s struggle - but to finally acknowledge this one.

22/05/2025

Għaliex hija importanti l-preżenza emozzjonali tal-missier?

Il-preżenza tal-missier fil-ħajja t’uliedhom m’hiex rappreżentata biss minn kontribut ta’ flus jew oġġetti materjali - hija ukoll preżenza emozzjonali msarrfa f’ħin, attenzjoni u sapport kontinwu.

Aħseb dwar il-preżenza emozzjonali bħal fanal. Mintix ser twaqqaf il-maltempati li jiffaċċjaw t-tfal tiegħek, imma d-dawl kostanti tiegħek: l-attenzjoni, il-kalma, l-imħabba, l-ħin biex tirraġuna magħhom, jgħinhom isibu triqthom lejn ix-xatt mingħajr periklu.

It-tfal qatt ma jinsew dak li tkun għamilt magħhom f’dawn il-mumenti.

19/05/2025

Some reflections on Trust in relationships

Trust is one of the key foundations of every healthy relationship. Every time I ask about trust, people tell me that trust isn’t built overnight; it’s created through consistent actions, emotional safety, and vulnerability over time. When trust is broken, it can feel like the basis of the relationship is lost.

So in essence, something that takes very long and a lot of hard work to be built can be destroyed in a matter of moments.

Here are some practical ways to build or rebuild trust:

✅ Communicate openly – Say what you feel with kindness and clarity. Silence creates assumptions; honesty builds connection.
✅ Follow through – If you say you’ll do something, do it. Consistency is one of trust’s best friends.
✅ Apologize when needed – A sincere “I’m sorry” can open doors to healing that defensiveness never will.
✅ Set healthy boundaries – Respecting your limits (and others’) shows that safety matters.
✅ Be patient – Trust grows slowly. Let it bloom in its own time, with care.

Trust begins with small, safe steps. Keep showing up. 💙

07/04/2025

⚠️ Boundaries with our family of origin ⚠️

Setting boundaries with our family of origin when getting into a committed relationship is a critical aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship within the relationship and with extended family members. This process can be challenging, as it involves negotiating the dynamics of both the new relationship and the existing family ties.

Healthy boundaries are not about rejection or cutting off family members, but about creating limits that protect the couple's time, emotional energy, and intimacy.

Clear, open, and respectful communication is crucial when setting boundaries with the family of origin. In family therapy, couples are encouraged to communicate these boundaries assertively, not aggressively, and to be honest about their needs.

While setting boundaries is about creating space for the couple to grow, it doesn’t mean completely cutting off relationships with family. Family therapy often focuses on helping couples find a balance between maintaining meaningful connections with their families of origin while prioritizing their own relationship.

Some helpful tips:

⭕️ Discuss your values, expectations, and previous family dynamics to have a clear understanding of what is important to each other.
⭕️ Hold a united front with your partner and communicate about this front consistently.
⭕️ Consider negotiating the frequency of visits, the nature of familial involvement in major decisions, and how to manage holidays or family events without feeling overwhelmed or divided.
⭕️ Be ready to compromise.

31/03/2025

💔 Healing from Betrayal

Trust is the cornerstone of family dynamics. When it’s broken through betrayal, it’s not just the individual who experiences harm; the whole family system may be disrupted. This may lead to emotional distance and conflict, while rebuilding trust is a gradual process, requiring open communication, empathy and accountability.

Forgiveness is a key element in healing from betrayal, though it is not always easy or immediate. Family therapy can help guide individuals through the process of forgiveness, not necessarily for the benefit of the person who has betrayed, but for the emotional well-being of all involved. It’s important to recognize that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the betrayal, but rather choosing to release the power of the betrayal over one's life and relationships.

Betrayal can create a deep sense of insecurity. The family system may feel like an unsafe place, especially if the betrayal was unexpected or deeply personal. In therapy, the goal is often to restore a sense of safety and connection within the family. This involves not only addressing the betrayal itself but also helping family members rebuild their sense of security in each other.

27/03/2025

⚠️ Relationships don’t have shortcuts ✂️

Our world is full of ways we can receive instant results:

🍔 Fast food & courier services;
📱 Reliable & quick digital communication;
📦 Same day shipping;
🚕 Transport at your door, 2 mins away from you;
📺 Stream all the available episodes you want;
🗓️ Quick appointment or service bookings.

Relationships, whether romantic, familial, collegial, or friendships, require hard work, effort, patience and time. There are no quick fixes like the ones listed above for this.

It can feel disheartening when we invest all our time and energy on relationships that are not sustainable or that we need to walk away from. These moments should not discourage us from working on our relationships.

Some thoughts to consider:

🗣️ Communication does not occur naturally and speaking about our differences is essential to understanding each other and what we need from one another;

🫸🫷 Compromise is often necessary in relationships; it takes effort to figure out what we can agree upon and sometimes we need to be ready to let go of something to hold onto something else;

🩷❤️🧡 Consider different approaches to the same difficulty; sometimes we tend to repeat the same solutions when presented with a problem and so trying a different method might present with new rewards;

⏳ Dedicate quality time to your relationships; the results won’t come if we aren’t putting in the hours and doing something together;

💬 Therapy can be helpful, and it requires time, effort and attendance to be effective.

24/03/2025

A lot of people are talking about the limited series 'Adolescence' and the thoughts it provokes about the world our children live in and the challenges they face. Few however talk about the mini-series 'Invisible', based on the thought-provoking novel by Eloy Moreno (https://www.disneyplus.com/en-gb/browse/entity-4e0de209-b7e7-4dfc-8120-73bf799e33f0).

This mini-series is about Capi, a 12-year-old boy who suffers a terrible accident that leaves him with severe post-traumatic stress. I won't spoil it for those who want to watch it, however the show delves deep into themes of bullying, loneliness, isolation and guilt. It invites viewers to reflect on what it truly means to be 'invisible'.

'Invisible' reminds us parents of the importance of:

⭐️ Communicating with our children and giving them the space to express their thoughts and feelings without judgement;
⭐️ Validating their feelings and giving them attention;
⭐️ Teaching our children to recognize and understand others’ feelings;
⭐️ Share our own feelings and experiences. This shows them that it’s okay to be vulnerable and that everyone faces challenges;
⭐️ Help your child focus on their strengths and achievements. Encourage resilience by discussing how to navigate setbacks;
⭐️ Seek professional help if you feel your children are struggling significantly or you are finding it difficult to help them.

12/03/2025

A little over a week ago I had the opportunity of delivering a training seminar and toolkit for Malta Girl Guides leaders about dealing with difficult emotions in children. I am honored to have supported toward the growth and learning of this fantastic group of leaders that contribute to shape the generation of tomorrow.

Address

2, Triq G. Galizia
Birzebbuga

Opening Hours

Monday	17:00 - 20:00
Thursday	17:00 - 20:00

Telephone

+35679049545

Website

https://joseph-antoncich-family-therapist.business.site/?utm_source=gmb&utm_medium=referral

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