Cheryl Chin - Mental Health Counsellor

01/03/2026

💣 Your nervous system is wired by what it first experienced as love.

If love felt conditional, you may chase approval.
If love felt unpredictable, you may crave intensity.
If love felt emotionally distant, you may feel drawn to people who keep you guessing.

This isn’t weakness.
It’s imprinting.

Psychology calls it repetition compulsion — the unconscious pull to recreate familiar attachment dynamics in hopes of finally “getting it right.”

Your romantic life doesn’t expose you to shame you.
It reveals where you were first wounded.

And the moment you understand that…
you stop asking, “Why do I keep choosing the same person?” and start seeing, “Something in me is still trying to be loved the way I never was.”

If you’re tired of repeating the same romantic pattern in different bodies, start where it actually began.

I Didn’t Choose to Be Born helps you understand the childhood blueprint.
Chasing Love That Hurts shows you how that blueprint plays out in your love life.

Both are available now — link in bio 🤍

13/02/2026

Just a few ideas for how to check in and stay connected.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

13/02/2026

In our relationships, we have control over one thing: ourselves. We cannot control our partner(s), though changing our own behavior can sometimes have influence, potentially impacting the relational pattern or dynamic.

For example, if your partner tends to yell when they’re upset, you cannot make them stop yelling. You can, however, let them know that when they raise their voice, you feel anxious/flooded/scared. You can let them know that you need to take a break and leave the room. By doing this, it may influence the course of the interaction.

Regarding relationship issues, focusing on ourselves is often more empowering and therapeutic. Trying to change someone else can often feel defeating.

[Image description: A Venn diagram of two intersecting circles. The first circle is labeled, “partner,” the second circle is labeled, “self,” and the intersection is labeled, “relationship.” Next to the partner circle, there’s an arrow next to the words, “what you cannot control.” Next to the relationship intersection is an arrow next to the words, “what you can influence.” Next to the self circle is an arrow next to the words, “what you can control.”]

Disclaimer: Content is for informational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

08/02/2026

My first time attended [Turn up and Sing] by . “For Good” is a song I love the very first time I heard it. The session began with people sharing about friendship, gratitude, change, growth, and grief. Sitting among 250 people, I realized how much we have in common as human beings when it comes to connection.

We were given the score and lyrics, each of us finding our place—soprano, alto, baritone. I first stood at second soprano and it took me a moment to be certain that the first soprano felt more comfortable for my own voice. Everyone sang, almost out loud. There was no judgment, no evaluation—just the joy of trying together.

After a few rounds, we finally made it through the whole piece. A warm, beautiful, and touching feeling came from reaching the end together, no matter the outcome, without needing to be precise or perfect. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.

The moment that stayed with me most was the last round, when the lights were dimmed and we could no longer see the score. We were asked to trust ourselves and listen to one another. I thought I wouldn’t remember anything, but the sounds carried me. Even when I didn’t know the exact words, I stay connected with myself and those around me.

To my clients, and to anyone reading this: connection doesn’t require perfection. You don’t need to be a perfect or good enough friend, family, colleague to deserve connection. It’s okay to try, to be unsure, to let yourself be guided by what’s happening in the moment. Healing often happens not because we get it right, but because we allow ourselves to stay real, present and connected.

Don’t be afraid to step in, to try, to connect and to be yourself.

Stay connected—with yourself and with others. Thank you for holding this space.

11/12/2025

Building the support systems we need starts with the belief that we can all participate in, and benefit from, a village.

22/11/2025

We talk a lot about teaching, correcting, and shaping our children…
but none of it lands without connection.

A child doesn’t follow guidance because we’re bigger, louder, or in charge.
They follow it because they feel safe with us.
Because the relationship matters to them.
Because their nervous system is steady enough in our presence to actually hear what we’re saying.

Connection isn’t the soft alternative to discipline — it’s the foundation that makes discipline meaningful.

When a child feels understood, they’re more open.
When they feel respected, they’re more receptive.
When they feel valued, they’re more willing to trust our lead.

That’s why the real work happens before the instruction ever leaves our mouth — in the tone we use, the presence we offer, the relationship we choose to protect.

Because guidance only really sticks when a child feels anchored to the person giving it. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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12/11/2025

Emotional connection is what can turn a relationship from familiar to safe. When you share your inner world, your feelings, fears, and hopes, your brain releases oxytocin. This is the “bonding” hormone that helps us feel calm, grounded, and seen.

Unfortunately, for many people, that kind of intimacy can feel both deeply desired and threatening at the same time.

You see, your nervous system remembers how safe (or unsafe) it once felt to be vulnerable. So, if opening up feels scary, or if your partner shuts down when you try, your body (or theirs) might be moving to protection mode.

I would love for you to see these questions as an invitation. They are meant to help you gently build a bridge of emotional safety over time by learning each other’s inner worlds through conversation.

To make it feel less like an interrogation, avoid asking them all at once. You don’t even need to get a “deep” answer. Sometimes, just showing interest and listening with curiosity can begin to rewire what connection feels like in your nervous system.

And remember, emotional intimacy is build through consistency, presence, and repair, not perfection. As both partners begin to feel safe, vulnerability starts to feel more like love.

29/10/2025

When a child’s behaviour makes us want to pull back, that’s usually the moment they need us most.

It’s easy to stay close when they’re calm, kind, and cooperative. It’s harder when their pain shows up as defiance, disrespect, or distance.

But beneath every outburst, every slammed door, every “leave me alone,” is a nervous system crying out for safety.

Connection doesn’t excuse the behaviour — it explains it. And once we understand, we can guide with empathy instead of control.

Because a child who feels safe doesn’t need to fight for power.
A child who feels seen doesn’t have to shout to be heard.
And a child who feels connected learns that love can hold space for even their hardest moments.

When we meet their chaos with calm, we become the anchor they can return to. That’s not permissiveness — that’s leadership. It’s what teaches them that love doesn’t disappear when they’re at their worst.

So the next time their behaviour pushes you away, pause before you step back. Take a breath, soften your tone, and reach in — not to fix, but to connect.

Because the behaviour is just the language.
The real message is always the same: I need you. ❤️


Quote Credit: Kelly Bartlett❣️

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28/10/2025

I'm curious: Where do you experience your greatest sense of belonging?

27/10/2025

25/10/2025

23/10/2025

I'm curious: Who's the first person you thought of when you read this?