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Abisola Buari, Abuja (2026)

05/03/2026

I want to share something with you today.
Something that came into my DM recently
and has not left my mind since.

💬 DM RECEIVED
"I SAW YOUR POST ON MY FRIEND'S WHATSAPP STATUS AND I CHECKED YOU OUT TO REALISE THAT YOU ARE A THERAPIST.
MY FRIEND AND I WERE BOTH IN A DARK PLACE BEFORE BUT SHE PULLED OUT ALL OF A SUDDEN WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING TO ME.
I HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHY BUT I SEE THAT SHE IS HAPPY AND DOING WELL.
NOW THAT SHE POSTED YOUR CONTENT AND I CHECKED YOU OUT IT MAKES MORE SENSE TO ME.
SHE IS DOING WELL BECAUSE SHE SOUGHT THERAPY.
CAN YOU HELP ME JUST AS YOU HELPED MY FRIEND?"

I read this message several times.

And I want to speak to it carefully
because there are several things happening in it
that I think many of you will recognise.

First, let me say something important:

The fact that someone shares my content
does not tell me or you anything about their personal journey.

My content travels.
It reaches people who resonate with it for many different reasons.

Some share it because it helped them.
Some share it because it reminded them of someone else.
Some share it because a single line spoke to something they have been trying to say for years.

I cannot speak to anyone else's story.
What I can speak to is yours.

And this is what I want to say to the person who sent that message and to everyone who has ever watched someone they love emerge from a dark place and quietly wondered:

'What did they find?
And can I find it too?'

Yes.
You can.

Healing is not a limited resource.

It is not reserved for the people who suffered more.
It is not available only to those with a certain kind of story.
It does not require a referral.
It does not require a testimony from someone you know.

It requires only one thing:
You.
Ready.
Willing to begin.

I think about what it takes to send a message like that one.

To admit even to a stranger on the internet
that you have been in a dark place.
That you have watched someone you care about change and felt both joy for them and a quiet ache for yourself.
That you were brave enough to follow the thread
all the way to a DM.

That takes courage.
And courage even the quiet, private kind
is always the beginning of something.

Here is what I know about dark places:

They are not permanent.
They feel that way.

From inside them, it is very hard to imagine
that the heaviness you are carrying right now
could ever lift.

That the version of you that is lighter, freer,
more present and more alive is not only possible, it is waiting.

But I have sat with enough people in enough dark places to tell you with absolute certainty:

The darkness is not the whole story.
It is a chapter.
And the next chapter begins the moment you decide to let someone help you turn the page.

To the person who sent that message,
and to everyone reading this who is in their own version of that dark place,

You do not need your friend's story to validate your own pain.
You do not need to have hit rock bottom to deserve support.
You do not need to fully understand what is wrong
before you reach out.

You just need to be tired enough of the dark
to be willing to walk toward the light.

If that is you today,
my DM is open.

Not because you were referred.
Not because you ticked a particular box.
But because you are a person.
And every person who is ready to heal
deserves a safe space to begin.

Let us talk.

And if this post found you in a good place please share it for the person in your circle who is watching someone else's light from a distance
and wondering if theirs is coming.

Tell them, it is.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

02/03/2026

Good morning and Happy New Week.

I want to start this Monday by talking about something we almost never talk about honestly.

The loneliness of being the strong one.

I want to tell you about a woman I will call Ada.

Ada was the kind of woman people point to when they wan to show others what strength looks like.

Excellent at her job.
Present for her children.
Held her marriage together with both hands.

The person everyone called when things went wrong.
The one who always had an answer.
The one who never asked for anything.

Ada had been carrying something for three years.

A quiet, persistent pain.
A marriage that had gone cold in ways she could not fully explain.
A sense that she had lost herself somewhere between her last promotion and her children's school runs.
A feeling that no matter how much she achieved,
something fundamental was missing.

She had not told her husband.
He was part of the pain, and also part of what she was protecting.
She had not told her friends.
They looked up to her.
She could not afford to shatter that image.
She had not told her mother.
Her mother would worry. And then she would have to manage that too.

So she carried it alone.
In the only private space she had left,
the bathroom. With the tap running.
Three minutes.
Then back out.

When Ada finally came to me,
it was not because she had reached rock bottom.
It was because she was tired.
Not broken.
Not collapsed.

Just quietly, completely tired of being the only person who knew how heavy she was.

In our first session, she said something I have never forgotten.

She said:
'I always thought asking for help meant I had failed at being strong. But sitting here, I think carrying it alone was the real failure. Because I was so busy being strong for everyone else that I forgot I was allowed to be a person too.'

I had to sit with that for a long time.

Because she named something that so many women in Nigeria live with but almost never say out loud:

We have been taught that strength is silence.
That endurance is dignity.
That needing help is something to be ashamed of.

And so we perform.
We run the tap.
We show up.
We hold everything together.
While quietly coming apart at the seams in the places nobody is allowed to see.

I want to say something today that I mean with everything in me:

Asking for help is not weakness.
It is not failure.
It is not burden.
It is not drama.

It is the most courageous, most self-aware, most powerful thing a woman can do.

The woman who says 'I need support' is not less than the woman who says 'I am fine.'

She is simply more honest.
And in that honesty, more free.

Ada did the work.
She let someone in.
She allowed herself to be held by the right person
in a space that was safe.

And slowly, not overnight, but steadily, she found her way back to herself.

Her marriage is not perfect today.
But it is honest.
And honest is the foundation everything else can be built on.

She does not run the tap anymore.

This Monday morning, I am speaking to you.

Not to Ada.
To you.

I know some of you woke up today carrying something that you have been carrying for a long time.

Something in your marriage.
Something in your business.
Something in your heart.
Something that has no name yet but sits in your chest and never quite leaves.

You do not have to carry it into another week.
You do not have to run the tap anymore.

Being vulnerable with the right person, someone trained, safe, and wholly on your side is not the end of your strength. It is the beginning of your wholeness.

And that is what I am here for.
My DM is open to you.
Take one step.
Just one.
I will meet you there.

If this spoke to you, drop a 💜 in the comments.

And if you know a woman who has been running the tap alone, please share this with her.

Sometimes all it takes is knowing someone sees you.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

01/03/2026

Happy New Month, my beautiful people

Welcome to March.

I want to take a moment before the noise of the day starts to sit with you right here.

March 1st does something to me every year.

There is something about the first day of a new month that feels like a quiet permission slip.

Permission to begin again.
Permission to try differently.
Permission to release what February was
and decide what March will be.

I know we are all in different places today.

Some of you woke up this morning with clarity and energy ready to take March by the hand and run.
I see you.
Keep going.

Some of you woke up this morning and the first thought was:
'Two months gone already.
Where did the time go?'

You feel a little behind your own plans.
A little behind the version of yourself you pictured in January.
I see you too.
And I want to tell you something:

You are not behind.
You are exactly where your journey requires you to be.

And then there are those of you who are carrying something into this new month that is heavier than most people around you know.

A marriage that is not what it used to be.
A business that is testing your faith.
A heart that is still healing from something that happened more recently than you will admit.
A financial reality that does not match your effort.
An emotional tiredness that sleep has not been able to fix.

I see you especially.
And I want you to know that March did not come to break you further.
It came to turn a corner with you.

This is what I believe with everything in me:

The woman who makes it to March
after everything January and February asked of her is not a woman who is falling apart.
She is a woman who is still standing.
And still standing is one of the most powerful things a person can do.

So here is my prayer and my declaration for every single one of you as we step into this beautiful month together:

In your love,
may March bring honest conversations,
deeper intimacy, and the courage to ask for what you need.
May the married woman find her way back to her husband's heart.
May the single woman find her way back to her own.

In your work and your business,
may March be the month the momentum arrives.
May the plan you have been sitting on finally move.
May the client come.
May the contract close.
May the effort you have been quietly putting in
begin to show its face.

In your finances,
may March bring clarity where there has been confusion.
May you see your money clearly,
make decisions deliberately,
and begin to build with intention.

In your emotional and physical wellness,
may March be the month you finally stop putting yourself last.
May you rest when your body asks for rest.
May you speak when your soul has been silent for too long.
May you ask for help before you reach the edge.

And in all of it,
In every corner of your life,
may you experience what it feels like to be
FULLY HER.
Whole.
Thriving.
Undiminished.
Unapologetically yourself.

That is my wish for you this March.
That is my wish for you every month.
That is why I do this work.

Happy New Month.
March is yours.
Walk into it like you know it.

Now tell me,

What is one thing you are releasing and one thing you are stepping into this March?

Drop it in the comments.
Let us declare it together.

And if there is an area of your life,
Your love, your business,
your emotions, your finances where you need support this month, my DM is open to you. Always.

Love and Light,
Abisola💜

27/02/2026

Happy Friday, beautiful people.

I want to gist you something before you go into your weekend.

Let me tell you about two young men,
Chike and Taiwo.

These two met in university and became so close that people genuinely thought they were blood brothers.

Same energy.
Same dreams.
Same hustle.

When school ended, the reality of Nigeria met them both equally.

Job rejections came for both of them, without prejudice.

So they sat together one day and said:
'Bros, let us start something ourselves.'

Now here is where their stories separate.

Taiwo had learned how to barb back in secondary school.
It was not something he took seriously at the time
just a skill he picked up along the way.
But when the jobs would not come, he looked at what he had.

He did not rent a shop.
He did not pitch investors.
He did not design a logo or plan a grand opening.

He carried a chair outside.
Set up a small table.
Propped a mirror against the wall.
In one corner of his compound.
And he started.

His first clients were small boys from the street and a few adults who walked past.
N5,000 a day, minimum.
It was not glamorous.
But it was his.
And he kept at it.

He saved what he made.
He upgraded small small.
By month ten, he had secured a shop in the neighbourhood.
He kept reinvesting.
The shop became a proper salon.
The salon grew into a full unisex space.
Hair, nails, pedicure, manicure, the full package.

New staff.
New equipment.
New clientele.

Today, Taiwo is a multimillionaire.
With multiple side businesses running alongside the salon.
All of it from a chair and a mirror in a compound.

Now let us talk about Chike.

Chike could sew.
Very well, in fact.
And he had a sewing machine right there in his room, sitting and waiting.

But Chike had a plan.
A very detailed, very beautiful plan.

He wanted to attract premium customers.
Which meant he needed a proper space.
Which meant he needed funding.
Which meant he needed family to invest.
Which meant he needed friends to support.
Which meant he was not ready yet.

So Chike chased investors who never came.
He pitched relatives who said 'let me think about it'
and never came back.
He drew up plans for a space he could not yet afford.

And meanwhile,
the sewing machine collected dust.

He was not lazy.
He was not incompetent.
He was not even wrong for wanting to do it properly.

He was just telling himself beautiful stories.
And those beautiful stories were keeping him stuck.

Then Taiwo's third anniversary came.

The celebration was a whole thing.
And when Chike walked in and looked around the room,
he froze.

Because the people in that room.
The calibre.
The connections.
The money.

They were the exact same people
Chike had been waiting to be 'ready enough' to attract.

Standing in a salon.
That started as a chair and a mirror.
In a compound.

Something shifted in Chike that day.
He did not need anyone to explain it to him.
He understood.

He went home.
He moved the sewing machine to the centre of his room.
He started taking orders.
He started small.

Today, Chike's business is growing.
And whenever he has the opportunity to speak to someone who is waiting for the right time,
he does not hold back.
He tells his story, every time.

I am telling you his story today.
Because I know some of you are Chike.

You have the skill.
You have the sewing machine.
You have the room.

But you are waiting for:
The right time.
The right investor.
The right space.
The right branding.
The right everything.

My friend,
The right time is already here.
It is sitting in your room.
It is plugged in and waiting.
It just needs you to start.

Start where you are.
Start with what you have.
Start today.

And if you need someone to walk alongside you as you begin,
my DM is open to you.
Always.

Have a beautiful Friday and an even better weekend.

Now tell me,
Are you the Taiwo who started,
or the Chike who is still waiting?

Drop your answer in the comments.
Let us have a real conversation today.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

26/02/2026

I want to do something a little different today.
I want to take you back.

Back to a conversation I had sometime in 2024.
Back to a woman who sat across from me and could barely hold herself together.

Her name is IJ.
And I want to tell you her story because I believe it belongs to many of you too.

When IJ came to me, she was not just struggling.
She was exhausted in that deep, private way that does not show on the outside.

The kind of tired that does not go away with sleep.
The kind of tired that sits in your chest and follows you everywhere.

She had done everything right.
She had the qualifications.
She had the work ethic.
She had the desire.

But her dream job would not come.
Door after door, closed.
Application after application, silence.
Interview after interview, nothing.

So she pivoted.
'Fine,' she said. 'I will build my own table.'
She started a business.

The business would not move either.

And as if that was not enough,
Relationships that she had leaned on began to break.
One by one.
Quietly.
Painfully.

Most nights, sleep refused to come.
Not because she did not want to rest.
But because the weight of everything that was not working
would not let her mind be still.

She cried.
She wailed.
She asked God questions she was not sure He would answer.
She almost gave up.

I remember sitting with her and feeling the weight of it.
There are moments in this work where you realise
that the most honest thing you can say is:
'I do not have all the answers.'

But there are some things I know.
And I told her one of them.

I said:
"IJ, I cannot promise you when.
I cannot promise you how.
But I can promise you this,
one day you will look back.
You will connect the dots.
And when you do, everything will make sense.
Every closed door.
Every broken thing.
Every sleepless night.
It will make sense."

She held onto that.
In the dark days, she held onto that.
When things got harder before they got better, she held onto that.

This Monday, I received a message from IJ.

An invitation.
To the opening of her new store.

But let me tell you what kind of store this is.

It is not a rented space.
It is not a pop-up.
It is not a corner of someone else's building.

It is her building.
A structure she laid.
Brick by brick.
With faith she had to choose on the days she did not feel it.
With courage she had to borrow from a future she could not yet see.

She wrote to me:
'Coach, you were right.
Looking back now, I can connect the dots.
And everything makes more sense.'

I read that message and I wept.
Not because I am surprised.
But because I know what it cost her to get there.

I want to say something to everyone reading this today👇

Not everything that falls apart is a loss.

Some things collapse to protect you from a path that was never yours.
Some doors close because walking through them would have taken you further
from the building that was already waiting for your name.

Every delay.
Every detour.
Every dead end.
Every relationship that broke.
Every plan that fell apart.

They might just be the universe or God whispering:
'Not this way. There is a better way. Keep going.'

You are not behind.
You are not forgotten.
You are not too late.

One day, just like IJ,
you will stand in front of something you built
from everything that once broke you.
And you will say:
'Now I understand.'

Hold on.
Your building is coming.

If this found you in a hard season, drop a 🧱 in the comments.

And if you know someone in the middle of their breaking season, please share this with them.

They need to know their story is not over.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

25/02/2026

I want to talk about something we do not talk about enough.

Not sickness.
Not failure.
Not heartbreak.

The quiet kind of pain.
The kind that does not announce itself.
The kind that sits in the chest and makes everything feel slightly grey.
The kind that makes you smile in public and stare at the ceiling at night.

I want to tell you about a woman I sat with.

By every measure, she was fine.

She had a job.
A home.
People who loved her.
She was the person others leaned on.
She was the one who always had an answer.

But something inside her had gone quiet.

She felt unworthy but could not explain why.
She felt unheard even when people were listening.
She felt unseen even in a room full of people who knew her name.

She told herself it was stress.
She told herself it was the economy.
She told herself she was just tired and needed rest.

She rested.
It did not go away.

So one night, late, when the house was quiet and everyone was asleep, she picked up her phone.
And she did what most of us have done at some point:

She Googled her feelings.

She typed things like:
'Why do I feel empty even when nothing is wrong?'
'Why do I feel like I am not enough no matter what I do?'
'Why am I always tired in my soul?'

She asked ChatGPT.
She watched YouTube videos at 2am.
She read article after article, trying to give language to something that had lived inside her for so long without a name.

And then she found it.

A word.
A pattern.
A description that fit so precisely that she had to put the phone down and just... breathe.

She had always thought that word was for other people.
People who had been through 'real' trauma.
People with 'real' reasons to struggle.

Not her.

She had people who loved her.
She had not suffered any great loss.
She had 'no reason' to feel this way.

And yet, the word fit.

She sat with that for three days.
Then she did the bravest thing she had ever done in her life.

She reached out for help.

Not because she had it figured out.
Not because she was no longer afraid.
Not because she was 'ready' in the way we imagine readiness.

She reached out because she was tired.

And tired that deep, bone-level, soul-level tired was finally enough.

We had one session.

One honest, unhurried, judgment-free conversation.

She did not leave healed.
Healing takes time and it is not linear.
But she left with something I believe is even more powerful than healing:

She left with hope.
She left knowing she was not broken.
She left knowing what she had been carrying had a name, that it was not her fault, and that she was not too late.

She came back for a second session.
And a third.

Because for the first time in years, she had chosen herself.

I am sharing this story today because I know she is not alone.

I know there is a woman reading this post right now who has Googled her symptoms.

Who has typed her feelings into ChatGPT at midnight because it felt safer than saying them to a real person.
Who has wondered quietly whether what she is carrying counts as something worth getting help for.

Let me answer that question for you right now:

You do not have to be at rock bottom to deserve support.
You do not have to have a 'good enough' reason to seek healing.
You do not have to wait until the pain is loud enough for the people around you to notice.

The moment you start asking questions about how you feel,
The moment something inside you reaches for an answer, that is the moment you are ready.

You are ready when you are tired.
You are ready when you have Googled.
You are ready when you are reading a post like this
at an odd hour and something in your chest is saying:
'This is me.'

If that is you today,
send me a DM or drop READY in the comments.
Let us have one conversation.
One session.
That is all it takes to begin.

You have held this long enough.
It is time to put it down.

And if this resonated, please share it.

Tag the woman in your life who needs to read this today.

She may not be able to say she needs help.
But she will read this and know.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

24/02/2026

Good morning, beautiful people.
Let me tell you something as you start your day.

I was speaking with a woman recently.

Brilliant woman.
Sharp.
Funny.
The kind of person who walks into a room and the whole energy shifts.

I asked her what she wanted to do with her life.

She told me.
And it was MAGNIFICENT.
The kind of vision that made me sit up straight.

Then I asked her: 'So when are you starting?'

She went quiet.

Then she said something I have heard in a hundred different voices from a hundred different women:

'I am not sure I am ready.'

I smiled.
Because I knew exactly what was really happening.
It was not about readiness.

It was fear.
Dressed in the clothes of wisdom.

See, fear is clever in Nigeria.
It does not always show up looking like fear.
It shows up as:

'I am just being careful.'
'I am still doing my research.'
'Let me pray about it a little more.'
'The economy is not smiling.'
'What will people say?'

My friend, that is fear in a nice outfit.
Do not be deceived.

Here is what I told her👇

You know that feeling when light enters a dark room?
That is what it feels like when you finally step into what you were made for.

The business you have been afraid to register.
The course you have been afraid to launch.
The conversation you have been afraid to have.
The stage you have been afraid to stand on.
The love you have been afraid to chase.

On the other side of that fear is something so good, so unexpectedly beautiful, that you will look back and whisper to yourself:

'I actually did that.'

Not shouting.
Not performing.

Just you.
Quiet.
Standing in the middle of what you built.
Shaking your head slowly.
Because you almost did not start.
And yet here you are.

I have watched women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s do things they told me they were 'too late' for.

I have watched a widow rebuild her financial life from zero and thrive.

I have watched a married woman, drowning in silence, find her voice again and save her home.

I have watched a single professional woman stop shrinking in relationships and start walking tall.

Every single one of them was afraid.
Every single one almost did not try.
And every single one has now said those words:
'I actually did that.'

So this Monday morning, I am asking you:
What is the one thing you have been carrying in your heart, too afraid to put it down or too afraid to act on it?

The time will never be perfect.
You will never feel fully ready.
The people around you will not always understand.

But you are more powerful than your fear has allowed you to believe.
And the world needs what is inside of you.

Start today.
Not tomorrow.
Not after salary.
Not when the children are bigger.

Today.

And if you are a woman ready to step into every dimension of your power in your love life, your business, your finances, and your emotional world, send me a DM.

Drop a 🔥 in the comments if you are done playing small.

And tag the woman in your life who needs to hear this today.

She will thank you for it.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

23/02/2026

Do not comprise on your healing.

When your procrastination is becoming worrisome, then there's more to it.

If you are always having panic attacks or you are not excited about things that usually excites you, checks in with a therapist.

You are created for more and yiu need to FULLY embody your TRUE SELF.

Send a DM to heal, align, love and thrive.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

#ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴᴡʜᴏʟᴇᴀᴅ

20/02/2026

Let me tell you about a woman I will never forget.

She came to me, well, technically her husband brought her because she had changed.

Not dramatically.
Not all at once.
She had just gone quiet.

The woman who used to run her home, show up at work with full energy, laugh with her children, and be present with her husband was still physically in the house.
But emotionally?
She had left the building.

Her husband was scared.
He didn't know how to reach her.

Her children could feel the distance but couldn't name it.
At work, people thought she was tired.

When I sat with her for the first time, she could barely make eye contact.

I asked her what had changed.

She said, 'I don't know.
One day I just checked my account and after that nothing felt the same.'

That sentence stopped me.

I asked her to tell me what she saw when she checked that account.

She told me.

And I understood immediately why it broke something in her.

She was working.
Really working.

She was earning.
But the number she saw did not match the effort she had been putting in.

And instead of asking why she turned the question on herself.

'Maybe I am not enough.'
'Maybe I am doing everything wrong.'
'Maybe...'

She went silent.
Because the alternative talking about money felt shameful.

So we dug.
Together.
Slowly.
Safely.

And here is what we found.

She was a giver.
An extraordinary one.

Her children had everything.
Every request met.
Every wish honoured.

Her family,
Extended family could call her at any time.
She had never learned how to say no.

I asked her: 'Where did you learn to love like this?'

She paused.
And then she said, slowly:
'My mother.
That is exactly how my mother was.'

And there it was.

She had not chosen this pattern.
She had inherited it.

Her mother's values, give everything, hold nothing back, say yes always had become her default operating system.

And it was a beautiful way to love.

But it had no infrastructure.
No boundary.
No system to protect her.

So her love was draining her account.
And her empty account was draining her soul.
And her broken soul was pulling her away from her husband, her children, her work, and herself.

One root.
Multiple wounds.

We worked together.
We looked at her money habits, her money story, and her money beliefs.

We separated her mother's values from her own mission.

We built a financial framework that still allowed her to be generous but from overflow, not from lack.

We gave her and her husband a language for money conversations they had never had before.

Today?

That woman is OKAY.
Her marriage has colour again.
Her children have their mother back.

She is back at work present, focused, powerful.

And she sends me a voice note every now and then just to say she is grateful.

I share this story today because I know she is not alone.

There is a woman reading this right now who is quietly holding something she has not told anyone.

A number that does not add up.
A distance that keeps growing.
A numbness she cannot explain.

She is not broken.
She is just disconnected from a part of herself she has never been taught to look at.

This is exactly why I created FULLY HER WORKSHOP.

A full-day premium event in Abuja for women who are ready to look at ALL of themselves their love life, their finances, their careers, and their emotional world and finally get the full picture.

Details coming soon.
But first, can I ask you something?

Have you ever withdrawn from the people you love not because you wanted to, but because something inside you broke quietly and you didn't know how to say it out loud?

Tell me in the comments. And if you know someone who needs to read this today, please tag her.
She needs to know she is not alone.

Love and Light,
Abisola 💜

Abisola Buari

05/03/2026

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Monday	09:00 - 18:00
Tuesday	09:00 - 18:00
Wednesday	09:00 - 18:00
Thursday	09:00 - 18:00
Friday	09:00 - 18:00
Saturday	10:00 - 17:00