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Relationship Aglow Network, Ekpo Abasi, Calabar (2026)

16/01/2026

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Alignment vs Attraction,
Knowing the Difference

Attraction is powerful, but it is not prophetic.
It can draw you in quickly, make you feel alive, and convince you that something must be right simply because it feels good. But attraction speaks to the eyes and emotions, while alignment speaks to purpose and destiny.

Alignment is deeper than chemistry. It is the quiet agreement of values, faith, vision, and direction. Two people may be attracted to each other yet be walking in opposite spiritual directions. Attraction asks, “How do you make me feel?”
Alignment asks, “Where are we going, and can we get there together?”

Attraction can exist without God; alignment cannot.
You can be attracted to someone who weakens your prayer life, confuses your convictions, and pressures your boundaries. But alignment strengthens your walk with God, sharpens your obedience, and brings peace rather than anxiety.

Attraction is often loud and urgent. Alignment is calm and confirming.
Attraction rushes decisions; alignment is patient. Attraction focuses on the present pleasure; alignment considers the future responsibility.

Here is a truth many learn too late:
What you are attracted to can excite you, but only what you are aligned with can sustain you.

Before committing your heart, ask yourself:

Do we share the same spiritual values or just the same feelings?

Does this relationship push me toward God or pull me away from Him?

Are we aligned in purpose, or am I hoping love will fix the differences?

Attraction may open the door, but alignment determines whether the relationship will last.
Choose alignment over attraction, because destiny is too expensive to risk on feelings alone.

© The Olayemis

14/01/2026

Food for Thought

11 Attributes Men Should Not Ignore When Choosing a Wife

Marriage does not repair character; it reveals it. A man must choose wisely, not emotionally. Who you marry will either build your destiny or battle it. Love is important, but character is essential.
Below are 11 attributes a man should not overlook in a relationship

1. A Woman Without the Fear of God
When a woman lacks reverence for God, values become negotiable. The fear of God is the foundation of loyalty, humility, and wisdom in marriage.

2. Disrespectful and Dishonouring
A woman who constantly belittles, insults, or talks down on you will eventually drain your confidence. Respect is not optional; it is oxygen to a man.

3. Emotionally Unstable or Manipulative
Mood swings used as weapons, emotional blackmail, and constant drama will turn marriage into a battlefield rather than a home.

4. Unfaithful or Attention-Seeking
A woman who thrives on male attention, flirts excessively, or lacks boundaries will struggle with faithfulness. Marriage requires loyalty, not competition.

5. Lacks Compassion and Empathy
A woman who is cold, uncaring, or indifferent during your difficult seasons will leave you emotionally alone. Marriage demands partnership, not selfishness.

6. Lazy or Allergic to Responsibility
Marriage requires effort from both sides. A woman who avoids responsibility, growth, or contribution will turn partnership into pressure.

7. Financially Reckless
A woman who spends impulsively, lives above her means, or lacks financial discipline can destabilize a home, regardless of how much love exists.

8. Gossiping and Loose with Words
A woman who cannot guard her tongue will expose your weaknesses, secrets, and family matters. A wise wife protects her home with her words.

9. Controlling or Overbearing
Control masked as care will eventually suffocate leadership. Marriage thrives on mutual respect, not dominance.

10. Refuses Growth or Correction
A woman who cannot be corrected, advised, or taught will stagnate the marriage. Humility keeps love alive.

11. Visionless and Purpose-less
A woman without vision will struggle to support yours. Purpose aligns partnership and gives direction to the home.

© The Olayemis

13/01/2026

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

11 Attributes Young Ladies Should Not Marry or Ignore in a Relationship

Marriage is not sustained by love alone but by character, compassion, and responsibility. What you overlook in courtship often becomes your daily reality in marriage. Wisdom is knowing not just who to love, but who not to marry.

1. A Man Without the Fear of God
When a man does not fear God, he lacks moral restraint and spiritual direction. A man who does not honor God will eventually dishonor you.

2. A Man Who Is Not Caring, Especially During Pregnancy and Childbirth
A man who shows little concern for your health, pain, emotions, or well-being during vulnerable seasons is not ready for marriage. Pregnancy and childbirth reveal true character. If he is emotionally absent or careless, then you will suffer alone when support matters most. Marriage should not make motherhood lonely.

3. A Chronic Liar
Lies destroy trust. A man who lies easily will manipulate truth and emotions. Marriage cannot thrive where honesty is missing.

4. Violent or Abusive Tendencies
Abuse often starts with words, control, and intimidation before it becomes physical. Anger left unchecked becomes torment in marriage.

5. Irresponsible and Financially Reckless
Love without responsibility breeds hardship. A man who avoids accountability will transfer the burden to his wife.

6. Addicted to Po*******hy, Drugs, or Alcohol
Addiction enslaves the mind and destroys intimacy. A man bound by addiction cannot fully lead, love, or protect.

7. Disrespectful to Women, Especially His Mother
How a man treats his mother and other women reveals how he will treat his wife. Disrespect is a warning sign, not a joke.

8. Emotionally Immature
A man who avoids communication, correction, or growth lacks the emotional capacity required for marriage.

9. Manipulative or Controlling
Control disguised as love will eventually suffocate you. Love gives freedom; manipulation steals identity.

10. Unfaithful or Excessively Flirtatious
Faithfulness is not seasonal. What he cannot control before marriage will not change after marriage.

11. Visionless and Purposeless
A man without vision will drain a woman with vision. Purpose gives direction, stability, and growth in marriage.

Marry well!
© The Olayemis

09/01/2026

I prophesy to you: this is your year of blessings and supernatural takeover.
Every delay is turning into speed, every closed door is opening, and every limitation is breaking.
You will not struggle this year—you will walk in favor, increase, and divine takeover.
Receive it in Jesus’ name. Amen. 🔥🙏

01/01/2026

Happy New Year family! This is your year of unlimited and unstoppable breakthroughs.

25/12/2025

Merry Christmas 🌲✨
May the joy of Christ’s birth fill your heart with peace, your home with love, and your days with renewed hope. May this season remind you that light always overcomes darkness, and grace is always available. Wishing you laughter, warmth, answered prayers, and abundant blessings now and in the coming year. 🎄❤️

The Olayemis

24/12/2025

FOOD FOR TOUGHT

IS COHABITATION AGAINST CHRISTIAN ETHICS?

A Wake-Up Call to Christian Youth

Introduction

We live in a generation where culture is loud, social media is persuasive, and morality is constantly being redefined. One of the most normalized practices today especially among young people is cohabitation: a man and a woman living together as a couple without being married.

The secular world calls it modern, wise, and harmless.
But Christianity asks a deeper question: Does it honor God? Does it align with Kingdom values?
This teaching is not to condemn, but to bring clarity, truth, and direction to young believers navigating relationships in a confused world.

Cohabitation is when two unmarried people live together in an intimate or marriage-like relationship, often as a “test run” before marriage.

While society sees it as preparation, Scripture sees it as premature intimacy without covenant.

The world promotes cohabitation with attractive but misleading ideas:
1. “Try before you commit”
The world says you should test compatibility before marriage.
Truth:
Marriage is not sustained by testing, but by commitment, sacrifice, and covenant.

You don’t learn faithfulness by avoiding commitment.
“Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:5

2. “Everyone is doing it”
Culture pressures youth to normalize what God never approved.
Truth:
Christian ethics are not shaped by majority opinion but by God’s Word.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed…” – Romans 12:2

3. “It’s cheaper and practical”
Economic hardship is used to justify moral compromise.
Truth:
God never authorizes disobedience because of convenience.
What is cheap today can become costly tomorrow emotionally, spiritually, and even generationally.

4. “It doesn’t affect my faith”
Many believe cohabitation is a private matter.
Truth:
Every lifestyle choice affects your spiritual sensitivity, prayer life, and walk with God.
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” – Amos 3:3

Christian ethics are rooted in holiness, covenant, and honor.

1. S*x and intimacy belong in covenant
In Christianity, intimacy is not casual-it is sacred.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure.” – Hebrews 13:4
Cohabitation enjoys the benefits of marriage without the responsibility of covenant, which violates biblical order.

2. God values holiness, not experimentation
Christian ethics call believers to live set apart, not “almost like the world.”

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3

3. Love without commitment leads to exploitation
When there is no covenant, there is no security.
Many young people are emotionally bonded, s*xually invested, and spiritually drained-yet legally and spiritually unprotected.

Christian ethics protect dignity, value, and purpose.

4. Marriage is a spiritual covenant, not a social arrangement
Cohabitation reduces marriage to convenience, but Christianity elevates it to a divine institution ordained by God.

“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” – Matthew 19:6.

To the youth folks
Cohabitation often leads to:
1.Emotional trauma
2.Spiritual dryness
3.Loss of moral 4.boundaries
5.Difficulty trusting later
6.Delayed or broken marriages

Christian obedience, however, produces:
Peace of conscience

Strong spiritual identity

Healthy marriages

God’s favor and direction
Clear purpose and confidence.

Dear young believer, God is not trying to deny you joy-He is trying to protect your future.

Purity is not weakness.
Waiting is not foolishness.

Obedience is not outdated.

You are not called to blend in, but to stand out as light.

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example…” – 1 Timothy 4:12

Summary
Yes-cohabitation is against Christian ethics, not because God is harsh, but because He is holy and loving.
The world offers convenience without covering.
God offers covenant with protection.
Choose wisdom over pressure.
Choose obedience over trends.
Choose God’s design over cultural noise.

Your future marriage and your walk with God will thank you.

Olayemis

17/12/2025

My Love, My Heartbeat, My Queen, My Angel, My Treasure, My Best Friend, My Sunshine, My Forever

Happy Birthday, my darling wife, My (IFE)

Today, I celebrate far more than the day you were born, I celebrate the gift of you in my life. You are the melody that brings peace to my chaos, the calm strength behind my dreams, and the gentle love that wraps our family in warmth every single day. Loving you has made me a better man, and walking this journey with you has been the greatest privilege of my life.

Thank you for accepting me exactly as I am-my strengths, my flaws, my growing seasons, and my uncertainties. You never demanded perfection; instead, you offered patience, understanding, and unconditional love. Your resilience amazes me. Even when life tested us, you stood firm with grace, faith, and courage, choosing unity over complaint and love over weariness.

I see your sacrifices-the silent ones no one applauds, the prayers you whisper for our family, the times you put us before yourself. You carry our home with dignity and nurture our family with a heart full of compassion. You are not just my wife; you are my partner, my confidant, my safe place, and my answered prayer.

As you add another beautiful year today, I want you to know this: you are deeply cherished, endlessly admired, and profoundly loved. My life is richer because of you, my future brighter because you walk beside me, and my heart complete because it belongs to you.

I FOREVER LOVE YOU @ UR "IFE"

09/12/2025

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
The Gift of Men

One of the greatest blessings God gives a person is the gift of men men who lift you, speak for you, defend you, open doors for you, and walk with you on the journey of destiny. No matter how anointed, talented, or gifted you are, you cannot rise alone. Destiny is relational. Every height you will ever reach will be because God sent a man.

Apostle Joshua Selman teaches that men are ladders, men are systems, and men are doors. When God wants to bless you, He does not drop miracles from the sky, He sends a man, an encourager, a destiny helper, a lifter. Likewise, when the devil wants to attack a destiny, he also uses men. This is why you must learn to discern the men sent into your life.

Some people are answers to your prayers, while some are tests on your journey. But there are men whose presence is a prophecy their coming into your life marks the beginning of a new season. Honor them, value them, and thank God for them.

Never take relationships for granted. The prayers you prayed yesterday may be answered by the men God brings today. Your rising is tied to the quality of relationships God sends your way. Protect them, appreciate them, and treat them as treasures.

Before you pray for opportunities, pray for the right men. Before you pray for lifting, pray for divine connections. One correct man in your life can do what ten years of labor cannot do.

“Your tomorrow is hidden in the men God sends to you today. Master the art of honor, discernment, and gratitude, for the gift of men is the gateway to destiny.”

© Dr. Mrs. Benita Olayemi

02/12/2025

*FOOD FOR TOUGHT*

15 WAYS TO AVOID PROBLEMS WITH YOUR IN-LAWS

1.Be close to your spouse. Both of you should agree on how to relate with your in-laws. In-law relationships are so delicate. You need wisdom to relate with them and have a blissful relationship with their son/daughter.

2.Don't visit your spouse's family without his/ her approval. He knows them more than you do. All the secret visit, gifts and bribe may backfire one day.

3.Relate with your in-laws the way your spouse advise you to relate with them. They understand their parents and siblings better. One woman lamented she advised her husband not to be too close to her siblings, he took her advise with a pinch of salt and got extremely close to her siblings, he died an untimely death shortly after. The woman claimed her siblings killed her husband so he won't inherit the property due to her that her deceased father left for her as the first born. Take to simple warning. If your partner warns you consistently against his family, be very careful. There is fire on the mountain!

4. Do not advise your spouse to be close to any family member they don't want to be close to. He or she knows what they are seeing or experiencing. They may not give you the details to save their family name. Get the hint and swallow your advice.

5. You and your spouse should be transparently honest with each other and act as one. Don't say A when your spouse is telling your in-laws B, always agree.

6. As a wife, respect your husband before his people. Don't call him names, shout at him and treat him like a slave in front of his people.

7. As a husband, show your wife love, respect and honour in front of your people, they will treat her the way you do. The way you present your wife is the way your people will address her.

8. Do not report each other to your in-laws, seek counsel from godly counsellors instead. Families are prone to take side with their son/daughter either in your presence or absence. Blood is thicker than water.

9. Agree on the amount of money to send to your parents monthly.

11. Respect, honour and have regard for your in-laws.

12. Encourage your spouse to help their people when the need arises but if they don't want to, please, don't push it, they have their reasons.

3. Take care of your spouse and children first before taking care of in-laws. Don't starve your children, go into debt, owe rents and school fees because you want to take care of your parents and siblings.

4. Respect your brothers and sisters-in -law.

15. Pray for wisdom on how to handle your in-laws.

You don't have to encounter problems and conflicts with your in-laws. As long as you walk in wisdom, you can enjoy heaven on earth in your marriage and have excellent relationships with your in-laws. Take note of the 15 rules, add yours and live in paradise forever.

Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

29/11/2025

UNDERSTANDING YOUR WOMAN!!!

By Dr. Mrs. Becky Enenche

Many men make the mistake of wanting their wives/women to be like them, forgetting they were not created with the same raw materials. A man was formed from the dust but a woman was made from bone, hence we cannot behave or think alike.

An average woman wants to be teased, cared for and pampered. Even if she's h***y she still wants her man to ask her for s*x, this makes her feel like a woman.

Her frequent sickness is not her fault, it is the nature of her body. You must learn to live with this truth. In fact, she wants you to pity her and give her special care when she's sick. Stop getting angry anytime she complain to you about one pain or the other. Sometimes the pain may not be as much as she presents it but she loves to act that drama to get your attention. Her need for attention is really a function of nature and not because she wants to disturb you.

She wants a man who will listen to all her jagons and stories. Some of these stories may not be interesting but if you don't listen, another man will listen and steal her heart away from you. An average woman will willingly give her heart to a man who listens to her. Even if you don't have solution to her stories, share her pain and fear.

Did you find her behaving like a child? Yes, she is your first child. Even her godmother played childishness at the Garden of Eden - she played with the enemy and traded their estate to the devil. You will have peace if you see her as your first child.

Her tear is a way of communication, don't ignore it. Each drop of tear is a message. If you ignore her tears, they will metamorphose into bitterness, anger, nagging and emotional depression. If not well managed it could lead to witchcraft.

She doesn't want to share you with anyone. Her excessive jealousy is not a crime, it is because she loves you and wants to protect you. If you kill that zeal, you will never enjoy her love again. She will never trust you again. Appreciate her jealousy, make her proud and clear all her doubts. Don't accuse her of being over jealous.

Tell her you love her. Say good things about her. Even if it's flattering she doesn't mind. Talk about her dress, complement her hairstyle, appreciate her shape and shout about her sense of humor. Those sweet words bring out the best out of her.

She is a woman, she is not a man.
Peaceful home is my concern.

You Will not fail in marriage in Jesus name.

21/11/2025

This meeting was impactful and Educative with the Singles.
A special moment with the Olayemis @ SUCF-UYO Regional Conference Calabar "Marriage Seminar"

Relationship Aglow Network

16/01/2026

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