Pastor Ajayi O. Samuel

14/12/2025

DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION 20
Section II, Chapter 8

The Frequency of S*x in Marriage

One of the silent killers of marriage is irregular intimacy.
Many couples do not fight, yet their homes grow cold because s*x happens rarely, casually, or only when one partner insists.

(For enquiries: 07046114112 | ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com)

God did not leave s*xual frequency to guesswork. He gave clear instruction:

📖 Do not deprive one another except by mutual consent and for a time… then come together again. 1 Corinthians 7:5

When spouses deprive each other, it is disobedience to God’s instruction. During such times, it becomes difficult to walk in God’s full pleasure. As a parent, would you happily bless a child who is in constant disobedience? No until the child aligns and brings joy to the parent.

This shows that regular intimacy is God’s design.

1. There Is No Fixed Number, But There Is a Standard

The Bible does not give a specific number of times per week, but it clearly gives principles:

a. Mutual agreement
b. Regular connection
c. No prolonged denial

When one partner is satisfied and the other is starving, balance is missing.

📖 Let each of you please his neighbor for his good.
Romans 15:2

2. Infrequent S*x Creates Emotional Hunger

When s*x becomes too rare:

a. Affection reduces
b. Irritation increases
c. Temptation grows
d. Distance develops

This is why many couples fight over small issues—the deeper need is unmet.

📖 Rejoice with the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18

Joy requires consistency, not occasional effort.

3. A Busy Life Is Not an Excuse
Work, ministry, children, and stress are real, but none should replace intimacy.
What you consistently make time for shows what you truly value.

📖 Two are better than one. Ecclesiastes 4:9

Conclusion
S*xual frequency sustains emotional closeness.
Neglect opens doors to frustration and temptation.
Consistency keeps the marriage warm.

Have intimacy with your spouse in joy, not in sadness.
Make s*x part of your marital routine. Just as you plan for payday expenses, plan for intimacy. Waiting until late at night when tiredness has taken over may leave your spouse emotionally wounded.

Never cause your spouse to be sad through neglect.

As a married man or woman, s*x is not a sin it is a marital exercise designed by God.

to be continue........
Ajay O. Samuel
📞 For counselling: 07046114112

14/12/2025

It takes maturity to UNDERSTAND woman
It takes patience to know man
Therefore, UNDERSTANDING+ PATIENCE = OPTION
As a couple, always have options to conflict resolution in your marriage.
Good night

14/12/2025

DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION 19
Section II, Chapter 7

S*X, DESIRE, AND MUTUAL SATISFACTION IN MARRIAGE

S*x in marriage is not only about availability; it is also about mutual satisfaction.
Many couples agree to have s*x, yet one partner is always ignored, rushed, or neglected.
When s*x becomes selfish, it loses its power to bond.
(+2347046114112, ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com)
The Bible says:
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 1 Corinthians 7:4

This means s*x in marriage is not one-sided.
Both partners are responsible for each other’s pleasure, comfort, and satisfaction.

1. S*x Should Be Given Willingly, Not As Punishment or Reward

S*x should never be used as:
A weapon
A punishment
A bargaining tool
A reward for good behavior

When s*x is used this way, love is damaged while divorce is moving closer.

The Bible teaches love, not manipulation:
Love does not seek its own.
1 Corinthians 13:5

S*x given with love strengthens the bond.
S*x withheld out of anger creates emotional wounds.

2. Emotional Safety Increases S*xual Desire

Many partners lose interest in s*x not because they are wicked, but because:

a. They feel emotionally unsafe
b. They feel disrespected
c. They feel unheard
d. They feel abused verbally or emotionally

The Bible instructs husbands:
Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way… showing honor to the woman. 1 Peter 3:7

Where honor is present, desire grows.
Where disrespect is present, intimacy dies.

3. Communication Is Necessary for Healthy S*x

S*x improves when couples talk openly:
About desires
About fears
About comfort
About timing

Silence creates assumptions.
Assumptions create dissatisfaction.

The Bible says:
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4

S*x without communication becomes duty.
S*x with communication becomes joy.

4. Regular Intimacy Protects the Marriage

Infrequent or irregular s*x often leads to:
a. Frustration

b. Temptation

c. Emotional distance

Scripture warns clearly:
So that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5

God understands human weakness.
That is why He commanded regular intimacy.

5. When S*x Is Neglected, Love Feels Rejected

Repeated s*xual neglect makes a spouse feel:
a. Unwanted
b. Unattractive
c. Unimportant

This emotional pain can push people into:
1. Po*******hy
2. Emotional affairs
3. Physical infidelity
4. Thoughts of divorce

These are not excuses but they are consequences.

6. S*x Is Part of Nurturing the Soul

S*x:
a. Builds confidence
b. Restores emotional balance
c. Deepens trust
d. Encourages forgiveness

The Bible describes marital love as joyful:

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18

God wants joy in marriage, not endurance.

7. Healing a Broken S*xual Relationship

If intimacy has been broken:
a. Start with prayer
b. Speak gently
c. Remove bitterness
d. Be patient
e. Rebuild slowly

The Bible assures us:
With God all things are possible Matthew 19:26.

Conclusion
S*x is not just an act; it is a language.
When spoken well, it says: I love you, I choose you, I desire you.
When ignored, it says: You don’t matter, I will look for another person (divorce lummy)

Before you think of divorce, examine intimacy.
Before you give up, rebuild the bond.

A satisfied marriage bed strengthens the home.
A neglected marriage bed weakens it.

To be continued…
+2347046114112
AJAYI O. SAMUEL

13/12/2025

If you're a man and God gives you strength to knack your wife Weller
And as a woman your husband dey knack you hotter
Type say God I thank you

13/12/2025

DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION 18
Section II, Chapter 6
TOPIC: UNDERSTANDING S*XUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com
S*x in marriage is not dirty.
It is not sinful.
It is not optional.

S*x is God’s gift to married couples to strengthen love, create bonding, and protect the home from temptation.
Many marriages today are suffering, not because there is no love, but because s*xual intimacy has died inside the home.
while some couples behave abnormally to one and another or their children due to lack of knackiiiiiiiiiiii

The Bible says clearly:
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:3
Stop saying it is food, it is more than indomin and egg

This is a command, not a suggestion.
1. S*x Is for Bonding, Not Just Pleasure
S*x unites the couple physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It is deeper than the body it connects the heart.

God said:
The two shall become one flesh Genesis 2:24.

S*x is part of how that oneness is maintained.

A marriage without intimacy becomes cold.
Coldness leads to distance.
Distance leads to frustration.
Frustration invites temptation.

2. Denying Your Spouse S*x Breaks God’s Instruction (hope you understand)

The Bible is very direct on this:
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time… Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you 1 Corinthians 7:5.

This means:
A husband should not deny his wife without agreement.

A wife should not deny her husband without agreement.

Denial opens the door for temptation, infidelity, anger, and emotional disconnection.

When s*x stops, satan gains ground.

3. Denial of S*x Creates Emotional Distance

S*x softens the heart.
It increases affection.
It reduces tension.
It makes forgiveness easier.

When a partner is denied intimacy:
a. They feel rejected
b. They feel unwanted
c. They feel lonely even inside marriage
d. Their confidence reduces
e. Respect begins to break
f. Love begins to cool

A cold bed leads to a cold heart.

4. S*x Reduces Anger and Increases Understanding

Many marital fights can be solved faster when couples maintain regular intimacy.

Intimacy:
Reduces stress
Calms the mind
Increases patience
Restores peace
Brings unity

S*x is not only physical; it is emotional medicine designed by God.

5. What Happens When Couples Deny Each Other S*x?
When marital intimacy dies, these problems usually follow:

A. Unnecessary arguments
Small issues become big because the emotional bond is weak
B. Temptation increases
The Bible warns that satan takes advantage when couples abstain without agreement.
C. Husband or wife may begin to feel unloved
Denial feels like rejection.
D. Emotional disconnect
Couples begin to live like roommates instead of lovers.
E. Thoughts of separation or divorce
When the heart is starved, the mind begins to wander.

S*x is not everything, but without it, many things in marriage start falling apart.

6. S*x Is a Ministry Inside Marriage

Marriage is not complete without intimacy.
The Bible says: Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled Hebrews 13:4.

God Himself honors marital s*x.
It is a holy act, not a dirty act.

Giving your spouse your body is part of your marital responsibility, just as giving love, respect, food, care, and understanding.

7. When One Partner Is Weak or Sick
There are times when a partner may not be strong:
Pregnancy
Post-delivery
Sickness
Exhaustion
Stress

In such times:
Communicate
Be patient
Show love
Seek agreement

But even then, emotional intimacy must remain alive.

Conclusion
Before you think of divorce, think of intimacy.
Before you push your spouse away, remember God’s command.
Before you deny s*x, remember the consequences.

S*x in marriage is not just pleasure it is protection, bonding, healing, and unity.

A home where intimacy is alive will always find it easier to forgive, easier to understand, and harder to break.

Keep your marriage bed warm.
Keep your hearts connected.
Let love flow freely.
(knack as you can)
To be continued…
AJAYI O. SAMUEL

12/12/2025

‎DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION (17)
‎Section II, Chapter 5
‎
‎THE HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE
‎
‎One of the deepest truths in marriage is this:
‎No home can survive without forgiveness.
‎ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com
‎Two imperfect people cannot build a perfect home unless forgiveness becomes a lifestyle.
‎Many marriages today are not breaking because of lack of love.
‎They are breaking because forgiveness has stopped.
‎
‎The Bible says:
‎Make allowance for each other’s faults… Forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13
‎
‎God did not say forgiveness is easy but He said it is necessary.
‎Forgive and forget
‎
‎1. Forgiveness Does Not Mean You Approve the Wrong
‎Forgiving your spouse does not mean:
‎1. You accept the hurt
‎2. You justify the mistake
‎3. You are weak
‎
‎It simply means:
‎“I value this home more than this offense.” (understanding DINS16)
‎
‎Jesus said:
‎If your brother sins against you, forgive him. Luke 17:3–4
‎Marriage requires this same obedience.
‎
‎2. Forgiveness Releases You From Emotional Burdens
‎Unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy stone in your chest.
‎It causes:
‎Bitterness
‎Anger
‎Lack of peace
‎Emotional distance
‎Silent punishment.
‎
‎Forgiveness frees you.
‎It allows your heart to breathe again.
‎You must forgive and forget, if you don't forget it means your not forgiven which leaf to wickedness.
‎God warns us:
‎Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26
‎Homes collapse when anger sleeps over repeatedly.
‎
‎3. Forgiveness Opens the Door for Healing
‎No matter the damage, healing begins when one partner decides to forgive.
‎Forgiveness softens the heart.
‎Forgiveness restores communication.
‎Forgiveness brings humility.
‎Forgiveness invites God back into the home. (read DINS15 again)
‎
‎Jesus said:
‎Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9
‎You are never smaller when you choose peace you are more like God.
‎
‎4. Forgiveness Does Not Cancel Correction
‎Forgiveness does not mean you ignore problems.
‎It means you correct with love, not war.
‎Correction given in anger destroys.
‎Correction given in love rebuilds.
‎
‎The Bible says:
‎Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14
‎Even correction should bring healing, not wounds.
‎
‎5. Forgiveness Protects Your Future and Your Children
‎Children learn forgiveness by watching their parents.
‎A forgiving home produces peaceful children.
‎A home full of bitterness produces wounded children.
‎What you refuse to forgive will grow into the next generation if not stopped, divorce is a generation battle.
‎Your forgiveness is not only for your spouse
‎it is for your children and your future.
‎
‎6. Forgiveness Is a Strong Weapon Against Divorce
‎Divorce often begins with:
‎Silent resentment
‎Uresolved issues
‎Pride
‎Bitterness
‎
‎Repeated offenses without forgiveness
‎
‎But when forgiveness flows, bitterness dies and unity grows.
‎
‎Love keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5
‎Marriages break when wrongs are stored.
‎Marriages heal when wrongs are forgiven.
‎Conclusion
‎Before you choose divorce, choose forgiveness.
‎Before you close your heart, open it to healing.
‎Before you give up, remember how many times God forgave you.
‎A forgiving heart builds a lasting home.
‎A hardened heart destroys generations.
‎Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a decision.
‎And that decision can save your marriage.
‎Some couples have mental issues, that is why they behave abnormality kindly call or message me for special counsel.
‎
‎To be continued…
‎AJAYI O. SAMUEL

11/12/2025

DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION 16
‎Section II, Chapter 4
‎THE POWER OF UNDERSTANDING IN MARRIAGE
‎One of the greatest pillars that sustains any marriage is understanding.
‎Many couples love each other, pray together, and even work hard, yet their homes still shake because understanding is missing (some couples behind like someone who has mental disabilities.)
‎Love brings two people together, but understanding keeps them together.
‎ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com

‎The Bible says:
‎“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7
‎(RECEIVED SPIRIT OF UNDERSTANDING NOW IN JESUS NAME).
‎
‎Without understanding, even the most loving marriage will suffer (are you following me).
‎
‎1. Understanding Helps You See Your Spouse Beyond Their Weakness (may God open your spiritual eye).
‎
‎Every human being has a weakness. No one is perfect.
‎Understanding helps you separate the person from the problem.
‎
‎> “Bear with each other and forgive one another… forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
‎Before you think of divorce, remember that God has forgiven you many times.
‎Understanding will make you patient, not harsh.
‎
‎2. Understanding Reduces Unnecessary Conflict
‎Many fights in marriage are not because the issue is big, but because the reaction is bigger than the issue. (Some couple divorce because he/she don't want to die in the marriage, whatever you're doing to your spouse to make him/her see divorce as only solution, you're a wicked person, you're to sentence to correctional center).
‎
‎Understanding helps you:
‎Listen before speaking
‎Think before reacting
‎Choose peace over ego

‎ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com
‎The Bible commands us:
‎“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19
‎
‎
‎If more couples practiced this, divorce would reduce drastically.
‎3. Understanding Makes Communication Easy
‎
‎When understanding is present:
‎You don’t assume
‎You don’t misinterpret
‎You don’t attack
‎You don’t shout to be heard
‎
‎
‎Your spouse becomes someone you talk with, not someone you talk against.
‎
‎Communication with understanding is healing.
‎Communication without understanding is war. (always remember how you both started)
‎
‎4. Understanding Teaches You to Value Your Partner. (it is your partner not your house maid or your slave)
‎
‎Every partner wants to feel valued not used, not ignored.
‎
‎Understanding teaches you to:
‎Appreciate small efforts
‎Celebrate progress
‎See the good in your spouse
‎Recognize their sacrifices
‎
‎The Bible says:
‎ “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9 –10 (what belongs to you is for both of you, not your own alone)
‎
‎When you understand your spouse, you lift them, not break them. (what you can't allow others to do for you, your children, or any of your family members, never do wickedness to your spouse).
‎
‎5. Understanding Helps You Stay United During Storms
‎
‎Storms will come.
‎Misunderstandings will arise.
‎Challenges will test your commitment.
‎
‎But understanding tells you:
‎We are on the same team.
‎This storm will pass.
‎I choose you even in difficulty.
‎
‎
‎Jesus said:
‎ “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” Mark 3:25
‎
‎
‎Understanding keeps the house united, no matter the pressure.
‎
‎6. Understanding Is a Shield Against Divorce
‎Many marriages do not break because of one big incident.
‎They break because of small issues repeated without understanding.
‎
‎When understanding enters a marriage:
‎Anger reduces
‎Respect increases
‎Peace grows
‎Love deepens
‎Divorce loses its power (Type amen)
‎
‎Understanding is the language of the wise.
‎Divorce is often the decision of tired hearts that stopped understanding each other.
‎
‎Conclusion
‎Before thinking of divorce, choose understanding.
‎Before giving up on your spouse, try to understand them.
‎Before walking away, walk into patience, forgiveness, and compassion.
‎
‎A home built on understanding becomes unshakeable.
‎A home without understanding becomes vulnerable to separation.
‎Pray for understanding.
‎Work for understanding.
‎And let God strengthen your home.
‎
‎To be continued…
‎AJAYI O. SAMUEL

10/12/2025

DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION 15
Section II, Chapter 3

Understanding God’s Heart for Marriage

Marriage is God’s idea, and anything God starts, He gives the wisdom to sustain.
Many homes break today not because the problem is too big, but because the partners stopped inviting God into their relationship, infact some partners even hate you mentioned God into their relationship 💔 kai and they want peace.

Before choosing divorce, remember what God says about marriage:

1. God Hates Divorce
The Bible makes it clear:

For the LORD, the God of Israel, says that He hates divorce. Malachi 2:16

God hates divorce not because He wants anyone to suffer, but because divorce tears destinies, wounds children, breaks families, and destroys the future God planned.

2. Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract
(do you understand?.)

Marriage is not just two people signing papers; it is a covenant sealed before God.
(are you following?.)

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.
Matthew 19:6 (Basics stop, inviting your family to your marriage)

When people forget the covenant, they treat marriage carelessly.
A covenant requires sacrifice, patience, forgiveness, and responsibility. (If you cannot be patient you paralyzed your destiny)

3. Love Covers Imperfections
No partner is perfect. Marriage is a school where two imperfect people are learning to grow in love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

If your partner offends you, respond with wisdom, not war.
If both partners stop correcting in anger and start correcting in love, healing begins. (are you following?)

4. Forgiveness Heals Faster Than Fighting
Many marriages are wounded, not because the issue is too big, but because forgiveness is too small.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. (Because you have once been a sinner too and God forgive you and forget your sin and He called you my CHILD)
Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness is not weakness; it is maturity.
Forgiveness does not say, “You were right.”
It says, “My home is more important than this fight.”

5. Prayer Restores What Communication Cannot Fix
Some battles in marriage are spiritual.
Some stubborn attitudes are not ordinary they need prayer.

With God, all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26
The moment couples invite God, peace begins to return. (STOP 🛑 invite your family to your marriage.....) ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com

6. Seek Peace, Not Victory
Marriage is not a competition between two partners.
If one wins and the other loses, the home has already lost.
Seek peace, not argument.
Seek understanding, not justification.

7. When Separation Seems Easier, Remember the Foundation.
Before you walk away, remember the vows you made:
“To love, to cherish, in good and bad times.”
Every marriage will face “bad times.”
But bad times do not mean end times.

Divorce may look like the easy escape, but it leaves deeper scars emotional, spiritual, financial, and generational.

Conclusion
Before you think of divorce, think of God’s plan.
Before you break the home, remember the covenant.
Before you conclude it is over, give love another chance.
God can heal any marriage that surrenders to Him.
To be continued…
ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com

AJAYI O. SAMUEL

10/12/2025

Good morning sir.

I wanted to start this teaching around August 2025, but something else came up.
Therefore, I will start in January with only those who register, because the teachings will be helpful.
what you don't pay for can't be important to you therefore sum ₦5000 individuals with a certificate and ₦10,000 for couples to be with a certificate https://chat.whatsapp.com/HHDPj6Ri9wwC1GHUfUrjt4

Topics:
1. As a Christian, should I marry by religion?
2. During our courtship, can we have s*x?
3. Why you must do mental tests and genotype tests.
4. Must I hear from God before getting married?
5. And other related topics.

save the date, get your jotter and pen, prepare your mind apply the lesson and share to others.
MY CHOICE MY RIGHT.
INTRODUCTION: everyone have type of man or woman to marry.
marriage is not by force but by choice, you can't sleep with madness because of his dirtiness and . madness likewise a man or woman can't marry a person that below to his/her vision
see you on 8th of September 2025
God bless you all

09/12/2025

DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION 14
Section II, Chapter 2
In every marriage, challenges are unavoidable, but how you handle them determines the future of your home.
Many couples enter marriage with high expectations but little preparation. When reality shows up, they become discouraged instead of growing through the process.

Every successful marriage you admire today survived storms, misunderstandings, pressures, and even moments of silence. No home becomes strong without passing through fire. But the fire is not meant to destroy you it is meant to refine you.

Before thinking of divorce, consider these truths:

1. No partner is perfect. You are also growing.

2. Love is not enough; understanding, patience, and communication are required.

3. Two different backgrounds cannot blend overnight.

4. Your spouse is not your enemy; the problem is the lack of understanding.

5. Temporary anger should not lead to permanent decisions.

When you make divorce your first option, you close the door to healing.
But when you choose dialogue, patience, forgiveness, and prayer, you open the door for God to rebuild what is broken.

Marriage is like two hands washing each other each hand must be willing.
If one hand refuses to wash the other, both remain dirty.

Choose peace.
Choose forgiveness.
Choose growth.
Choose your home.

To be continued…
Do you need special marriage counseling
Subscribe today with ₦20,000, only if you're ready to obey my instruction
ajayioluyemisamuel@gmail.com
Ajay O. Samuel.