02/11/2016
Dr. Mrs. Thomas looked intently at Andrew sitting
on the sofa to the right of her desk in her office
that hot Friday evening. She was a bit agitated
about this young man and how it's been so
difficult to get him to brace up and deal with his
issues. But as a professional, her body language
or countenance didn't betray her true emotions.
She still had that sweet, encouraging smile on her
face, âthis young man must get a grip and just do
the needfulâ she thought to herself.
The office was quiet and she could hear him
sniffle and snuffle and he intermittently grimaced
out of emotional pain and frustration, he would
throw both hands up and sigh heavily; collapse on
the comfortable sofa and almost immediately sit
up straight again. He was obviously in torment;
emotional and psychological distress, he was
confused and very exasperated.
What's biting Andrew this time, Dr. Thomas
wondered, but still had her smile in place; using
her composure and facial expression to calm him
down and make him feel at ease. What a
handsome, young man she thought to herself, just
33, tall, fair and very attractive, his curly black
hair, brown eyes, pointed nose and very pink and
thin lips easily betrayed his mixed racial feature;
his mum is Mexican. Andrew's been married for
four years, blessed with two lovely daughters;
smart, hardworking, very exposed and intelligent;
lived in New York the better part of his life,
returned to Nigeria just after he married his wife
Rebecca, secured employment with a leading
manufacturing company as head of Procurement.
His wife Rebecca never knew her Nigerian father
and was raised solely by her Jamaican mother
with her two step siblings who also had a non-
resident father, the three girls were raised by their
mother who also wasn't really there as she was
given to a life of pleasure; partying and clubbing.
They all lived in New York, Andrew met Rebecca
through a friend and they immediately became
fond of each other and in six months, they got
married and relocated to Lagos, Nigeria.
âI hit her again, doctorâ, Andrew muttered under
his breath; âwhat did you say âDr. Thomas asked
him, recovering quickly from her drift in thoughts,
âwhat did you say Andrew?â She asked again, âI
said I hit her again last night, I hit her twice, I
was frustrated, she pushed it too far, I didn't
have a choice, I was angry, she was cursing and
shouting, she was scaring the kids, they were
afraid, she was hitting and punching I tried
calming her down but she wouldn't listen, I had
to hit her Docâ.
Dr. Thomas, was upset, âI've warned you several
times you don't hit a woman no matter what, you
should have walked away, you should have left
the scene, never hit a woman, you're stronger,
you could hurt her badly you know, in fact you
could hit her on a dangerous spot and kill her,
never hit a woman, never hit a woman Andrew,
walk away, walk away, walk away, never hit a
woman!â Her voice was pitching, but she quickly
recovered herself and calmed down.
Andrew, I've appealed to you, this trend will not
help anyone or the situation on ground, you have
to be strong you have to be a real man and face
these challenging times with courage, I assure
you, it will surely pass.
âBut why doctor, why should she just turn around
and become quite terrible and beastly because I
lost my job? I am not an indolent man, I'm very
hard working, and since we got married, she's
never had to work a single day, I pay all the bills
and meet all her needs, she lives in a lovely big
house and drives a brand new car.
I've given my best and its obvious to everyone I
was wrongly accused and lied against in my
office; it was a set up, I would never defraud the
company, I'm not a thief or a cheat. I am
innocent and my lawyer is working hard to ensure
I get justice, all I'm asking for is a little patience
from her until this problems are resolved; what I
expected and need from her now is support,
encouragement and understanding, not the
insults, criticism and harassment â she's driving
me crazy doctor.â
âBut I've told you Andrew, this has nothing to do
with you, it's more of a reaction to her personal
fears, insecurity and even her upbringing, she's
unfortunately just taking it out on you. You told
me she's been through a lot, betrayed, abused
and hated by her own mother who also took out
her frustrations of being abandoned by her father
on herâ Andrew, Rebecca your wife has had it
really rough and face it, this lady is only 23 and
has been in and out of rehab twice back in New
York, you need to be patient and tolerant, you
need to be more understanding Andrew; Andrew
your wife is scared, she's afraid, she doesn't
want the good times to end, she's enjoyed you,
her two daughters and her stay in Nigeria so far;
she can't handle going back to a life of hardship,
she can get very desperate Andrewâ.
âDoctor, please listen to me; I can relate with all
what you're saying, but in the last couple of
weeks, she's been accusing me of infidelity, she
says I'm cheating on her and I claim I'm broke
and can't pay bills, yet I'm running around town
with some lady and even accused me of buying
this lady a brand new car! Its crazy doctor, my
wife is losing it, I have never cheated and I can
never cheat on my wife, I love her so much, but
she keeps attacking, accusing and wouldn't just
believe me, she claims she's got proof and
evidence and in due time she would deal with me!
Doctor, I'm not seeing anyone or cheating, I can't
even afford it in my current situation and state of
mind; I'm not that kind of a man. Doctor my
house is practically on fire, I hate going back to
that house, I'm fed up, I want to give up and just
run away!â
Andrew you can't, it's your home, she's your
wife, they're your kids, giving up my dear man is
accepting defeat. You're not that kind of a man,
you're the winning type, you're a strong man, not
a weakling, you're going to win and overcome,
you won't throw in the towel, I know you, you can
handle this too, you will overcome, stay strong my
friend.â
âAndrew I think it's time you bring your wife for
counselling as well, I've been asking you to but
you've been reluctant, I think it's time I speak to
her too. Its late Andrew, you need to leave for
home now, let's see again tomorrow, please bring
Rebecca along, I need to speak to both of you
together.â
Dr. Mrs. Thomas, A psychologist and Marriage
counselor kept thinking and worrying about
Andrew as she headed for home that hot evening,
she looked at her watch it was 7:55pm, it was
late she thought and suddenly sat up on the back
seat of her car, as her driver turned the bend from
Alausa. In Ikeja and she saw the traffic on the
express way leading to her Magodo, Lagos
residence, she suddenly remembered it was that
first Friday night when religious people went for
their night program on their camp grounds along
the expressway and she became depressed
knowing how much longer she'll have to remain
in traffic.
She was so grumpy, it was that time of the
month for her and her lower abdomen and back
ached seriously; she was so uncomfortable and
needed a shower badly, now this traffic.
She relaxed and sank further into the bucket seat
of her Brand New Kia Cerato, the car was just a
week old and she loves it, her husband Lanre, got
it for her as a birthday present, she celebrated her
44 birthday a week ago and as the memories of
the event began to flood her mind, she began to
smile; remembering what her son and daughter
did for her and what her husband also organized
for her, how lucky I am, she thought to herself,
thank God for my great family.
She was suddenly jolted strongly out of her seat
and her forehead rammed against the
passenger's seat in front of her as a black, old
Nissan Pathfinder rammed into her brand new car
from the rear, the boot of the new car
disappeared by half and the rear wind shield
shattered on the account of the impact. Before
she could recover from the shock of this accident,
her driver, Hakeem, bolted out of the car and
rushed to the old SUV that just ran into his
Madam's brand new car from the rear. âYou dey
craze, you no dey see?â, he began to yell as he
approached the driver of the SUV, suddenly a
woman jumped down from behind the steering
wheel of this SUV and began so scream and
shout; she rushed Hakeem and began to hit and
slap him, Hakeem slapped her hard across the
face and she sprawled across the street, dazed on
the account of the impact, she could hardly move
a limb.
Dr. Thomas jumped out of her car, and
immediately loudly reprimanded Hakeem, âYou
never hit a woman, no matter what, Hakeem, I've
warned you never hit a woman, you're stronger
and can hurt her, never hit a woman!â
Dr. Thomas was so enraged she pushed Hakeem
out of the way and went for this woman trying to
get back on her feet, âI'm so sorry madamâ, Dr.
Thomas apologized, âhe had no right treating you
this wayâ, and she stretched out her hand and
helped this woman up, she saw her wedding band
and realized she was married, âI'm sorry, I'm
terribly sorry, though you were wrong to have hit
my car that bad from the rear, but he still had no
right to hit you, I am so sorry, I'll definitely
punish himâ.
This woman just kept starring at the Doctor, she
didn't say a word, she was standing now with
hands at akimbo, she was wearing a pair of jeans
shorts and a black T shirt, âI'm Dr. Mrs. Thomasâ,
the doctor continued to speak, âmy office is at
Ikeja here, are you okay madam? I'm a
psychologist and a marriage counselor, I see
you're married, don't worry about my car, I'll call
the insurance company first thing in the morning
and you can call your insurers too, it's not a
problem. Here's my card, you can call me if you
likeâ.
This woman looked at Dr. Thomas, she was
surprised and a bit confused and tears welled up
in her eyes, she took the card, turned without
saying a word and walked briskly to her car. She
got into the car, turned the ignition and started
the engine, she turned on the air conditioner; sat
back and let the cool from the vent of the AC
caress her face, she looked through the
windshield and looked at Dr. Thomas who was
now by her damaged car speaking to her
husband about the incidence.
The woman picked up her bag from the
passenger's seat peered inside and brought out a
photograph, it was her husband's picture; she
peered at the picture for a long while dropped it
and reached for her mobile phone.
âHello, hello, oh, hi Andrew, this is Rebeccaâ she
said over the phone with a strong American
accent, âWhere are you? I'm on my way home
dear, see you soon, I love youâ.
She concluded her conversation over the phone
and tightened her lips. She's been wrong all the
while, Andrew wasn't having an affair, he was
seeing a psychologist and a marriage counselor,
he actually wanted their marriage to work, âoh
silly meâ, she said to herself, feeling really guilty.
As she made to put Andrew's picture and her
mobile phone into her handbag, she saw the
container of acid she had planned to empty on
the face of this strange wicked woman trying to
steal her man from her; that was why she ran
into her car in the first place - to have the
opportunity to bathe her with acid.
She closed her bag and looked up again at Dr.
Thomas, she was leaning against her damaged
car waiting for her husband, âlucky, very lucky
womanâ, Rebecca said out loud and she turned
her SUV and drove into the dark, hot night
towards her home.
Ladies and gentlemen, a mindset guided by
strong principles and not strong emotions is what
makes you a winner in life. Dr. Thomas, was
spared from an acid bath not because she was
lucky, but because her mind over ruled her
emotions. Her brand new car had been damaged
by a total stranger, but her strong principles and
superior mindset about how to treat the female
gender saved her from a very dangerous attack.
Many times, life can bring our way very unfair
and ridiculous situations that can easily and
instantly provoke us, make us angry, and make
us react.
Uncontrolled and misdirected anger is very
destructive. Wisdom is to deal with the issue, not
the person; a superior mindset separates an
individual from a matter. Moving forward quickly
in life would be strongly influenced by your ability
to develop a mindset of objectivity.
Attacking, people, suspecting people, judging and
criticizing people brings weight over your soul and
mind and you cannot think progressively.
Who is that person annoying, irritating and
upsetting you? Tonight, release this person, deal
with the issues not the person, we all have our
fears, weaknesses and shortcomings, you are not
perfect as well, dealing with the matter not the
individual makes collaboration and collective
progress possible. Apply your mind to issues not
people; it's the ultimate mindset for collaboration.
Ladies and gentlemen, think it, do it, achieve it
and be the ultimate, it's all in
