OursaFezone

OursaFezone Live a life that you love. Am on a mission to boost your happiness. just as you need a family doctor you also need a professional counsellor.

every one needs counselling .

26/03/2026

Divorce doesn’t have to be dirty. You don’t have to make your spouse look like a demon to justify leaving.
We are people of ihsaan. When we slaughter, we slaughter well and kindly; when we separate, we separate in goodness.

And that’s why Allah says, “And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah, of whatever you do, is Seeing.” — reminding us to hold onto what was good between us, even in separation. (Qur’ān 2:237)

Divorce and separation already have a huge emotional impact on children. You don’t need to make it worse for them by painting each other in a bad light just to feel justified. Doing so only traumatizes your kids.

Counselling



Sometimes, Allah delays to prepare you and sometimes, He withholds to protect you. May Allah accept all our dua.🙏
24/03/2026

Sometimes, Allah delays to prepare you and sometimes, He withholds to protect you. May Allah accept all our dua.🙏

Take solace in the fact that even Allah, the One who provides endlessly for His creation, is disobeyed by many of the ve...
16/03/2026

Take solace in the fact that even Allah, the One who provides endlessly for His creation, is disobeyed by many of the very people He sustains so they may be grateful. Yet they still turn away.

Remember that Allah has already described the man as inherently ungrateful — Qur’an 100:6

14/03/2026

If your heart feels heavy and you are emotionally stressed, you may struggle to do much.

12/03/2026

I remember the way we used to give sadaqah in my village masjid. I grew up believing that the money we should give in the masjid as fī sabīlillāh was the dirty, worn-out money — the lowest denomination we had.
That was the mentality I grew up with, and I carried it with me into young adulthood.

Later, I joined the Muslim Students Society (MSSN) in my village.Alhamdulillah, the leading executives played a huge role in shaping our understanding of Islam. With the help of Allah, they planted the seeds of īmān in us at a time when many of our peers were experimenting with all sorts of harmful things in life.May Allah bless them abundantly.

However, that sadaqah mentality we grew up with remained with many of us.
Our monthly dues then were just ₦20, yet many brothers and sisters would not pay that small amount for years. Interestingly, whenever we attended meetings, we would easily spend more than ₦200 buying corn and groundnuts. We bought new hijabs and other things without hesitation, but the monthly dues felt unimportant. After all, whenever we wanted to organise an open-air da’wah, we would simply write letters to patrons to support us — money that we could actually have raised ourselves.

Later, when I gained admission to a university outside my state, something shocked me.

I saw people dropping new mint notes ,even the highest denominations , into the fī sabīlillāh box, while I was still searching for the dirtiest note to drop.

I saw colleagues in school paying ₦500 monthly MSS dues, and they paid it willingly and happily.

That was when something shifted inside me.

I realised it was never about lacking ₦20. It was simply the mentality we grew up with.

And sadly, many of us still carry that mentality today.
That is why you see masjids remaining uncompleted for 20 years, even though the same people praying there are able to build their own houses.

So give to Allah the way you would want Allah to give to you.

Drop good money for Allah’s sake — ₦5,000, ₦10,000, ₦100,000, even ₦1,000,000 if Allah has blessed you with it.
Do not let Shayṭān deceive you into thinking that giving will make you poor. That is not true.
Allah says in the Qur’an:
“Who is it that will lend Allah a goodly loan so He may multiply it for him many times over?”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:245)
And Allah also says:


Think about the example of Abu Bakr (RA). He once gave all his wealth for the sake of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. When he was asked what he left behind for his family, he said: “I left for them Allah and His Messenger.”
Did you ever hear that he became a pauper because of that? Never.

So ask yourself:
Would you rather receive multiples of ₦100,000, or multiples of ₦20?

The generous never become poor. That is part of the Sunnah of Allah.
Alhamdulillah that you are at least dropping the ₦20 , some people still drop nothing at all.

But this Ramadan, let there be a change of heart.
Give to Allah a goodly loan in return for Jannatul Firdaus, in return for barakah, in return for increase. Because whatever you give for the sake of Allah is never lost.

Safezone Counselling

Growing up, I remember seeing a girl who always stood quietly by her window in the evenings, holding the iron bars and s...
12/03/2026

Growing up, I remember seeing a girl who always stood quietly by her window in the evenings, holding the iron bars and staring outside. She never came out to play like the other children. People in the neighborhood whispered that she was bewitched, and with time everyone stopped paying attention.
Years later, as a clinical psychologist, I realized she might have been a special child—perhaps living with a condition like Cerebral Palsy or another neurodevelopmental condition such as Autism Spectrum Disorder. Her parents may simply not have understood what was happening, and cultural explanations may have replaced medical understanding.

Sadly, this is the reality for many neurodiverse children. When something unusual is noticed in a child’s development or behavior, parents should seek medical help early so the child can receive proper support.

Parents of neurodiverse children often carry a heavy burden. They manage therapy, schooling, medical care, and daily routines, which can lead to exhaustion, financial strain, and constant worry about the child’s future. Society sometimes adds to the pain by stigmatizing both the child and the parents.
Dear parents, remember that Allah will never burden you with more than you can bear. Take care of your own health, seek support, and do not neglect your other children.

Do what you can and leave the future to Allah. The One who entrusted the child to you will surely provide a way.

May Allah grant parents caring for neurodiverse children patience, empathy, and strength in carrying this burden of care. 🤲





Reminder! Reminder!! Reminder!!!Live as though today is all you have. Pray with focus, recite the Quran with understandi...
12/03/2026

Reminder! Reminder!! Reminder!!!

Live as though today is all you have. Pray with focus, recite the Quran with understanding, and remember Allah sincerely.

One of the reasons people become very resentful is lack of appreciation.It is exhausting when you do everything possible...
05/03/2026

One of the reasons people become very resentful is lack of appreciation.

It is exhausting when you do everything possible to fulfill your part of the responsibility, yet the other person keeps looking for ways to criticize you or bring you down.

Take solace in the fact that even Allah, the One who provides endlessly for His creation, is disobeyed by many of the very people He sustains so they may be grateful. Yet they still turn away
Sometimes people may even despise you or treat you as an enemy simply because you showed them love and kindness.

Even within marriage, spouses can feel unappreciated.A husband may provide and strive for his family, yet the wife fails to recognize his efforts. Likewise, a wife may sacrifice greatly for her husband, but he keeps changing the goalposts, never satisfied with what she does.

This is not to say you should stop doing good.
Rather, learn not to expect gratitude from people. Mentally prepare yourself for ingratitude, and perform your good deeds for the sake of Allah, the One who never forgets and never lets even the smallest good deed go unrewarded.

Allah describes the righteous people in Surah Al-Insān as those who feed you others for the sake of Allah. Without expecting any reward or even thanks.”— Qur’an 76:9

So do not be discouraged when you give someone a stick to lean on and they use the same stick to beat you.

Remember that Allah has already described the man as inherently ungrateful — Qur’an 100:6

Keep doing good.
But do it for Allah, not for people's applause.

Because Allah never forgets......@⁨all⁩

Safezone Counselling

05/03/2026

*Four thieves who never sleep…*

Do you know that in your heart there are four thieves who never sleep?

They carry no weapons and break no doors, yet they quietly steal your light.

Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali explains that the corruption of the heart begins from within, not from outside.

*The first is desire.*
Desire promises pleasure but is never satisfied. The more you give it, the more it demands, until a person becomes a prisoner of their own cravings.

*The second is anger.*
Anger is a small spark. If it is not extinguished quickly, it burns your own heart before it harms anyone else.

*The third is love of status*.
Love of recognition is subtle. You may perform a righteous deed, yet your heart waits for people’s praise. If you are not complimented, your chest tightens.

*The fourth is love of wealth.*
Money is a tool. But when it becomes the ultimate goal, it enslaves the heart without you even realizing it.

These four steal your inner clarity.They make worship feel heavy, intentions mixed, and the heart restless.

Al-Ghazali teaches that their cure is constant self-accountability:
Watch yourself before you watch others.

Resist your desires when they call you.

Break anger with patience.

Make status belong to Allaĥ alone.

Hold money in your hand, do not let it hold your heart.

So ask yourself

Which of these is guiding your decisions?

If you control these four, your heart will be upright and your life will be upright with it.

Safezone Counselling

05/03/2026

When things happen to us, we tend to replay them in our heads.

Over and over again.

We dissect every detail. We analyse every word. And somehow, we always find a way to blame ourselves for the situation.

Even when, if we look at it critically, it wasn’t entirely our fault…

we still carry the blame alone.The mind has a way of turning pain into self-accusation.

“What if I had said it differently?”

“I should have known better.”

“It’s my fault this happened.”

What often keeps us from healing is not just what happened to us , but the story we tell ourselves about it.

We begin to identify with the situation. We stop saying, “I made a mistake,” and start saying, “I am a failure.”

And that shift is dangerous.

You don’t have to keep punishing yourself. You made the best decision you could with the knowledge, emotional capacity, and awareness you had at that moment. You responded from the version of you that existed then.

Ramadan is a reminder that Allah allows renewal. If He allows you to grow beyond yesterday, why are you chaining yourself to it?

Safezone Counselling
@

05/03/2026

There is a disease quietly spreading among otherwise intelligent adults. It is not malaria. It is not pressure. It is not even love. It is something far more dangerous. It is called being too friendly.

You will recognize the victims easily. Their phones never rest. Their time does not belong to them. Their mouths say yes while their hearts whisper no and their souls file complaints in silence.

These are the people who are always available. If someone’s goat has refused to enter the pen, they are called. If someone needs money urgently that will never be returned urgently, they are called. If there is a meeting nobody wants to attend, they are nominated by default. They are the unofficial customer care desk for relatives, friends, neighbors, former classmates, and people they barely remember from a funeral in 2014.

They are praised publicly as kind. They are exhausted privately as fools.

You see, being too friendly is not kindness. It is fear dressed in good manners. Fear of being called rude. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of disappointing people who have never once feared disappointing you.

So the friendly person wakes up early to solve other people’s problems and sleeps late postponing his own dreams. His personal goals sit in a corner like guests who were invited but never served tea.

One day he looks at his life and wonders why progress is moving like a donkey climbing a hill with wet shoes.

The problem is not lack of ambition. The problem is that his time has been turned into a public road where everyone passes freely with heavy luggage.

He cannot say no.

When he tries, he begins with a long explanation. He narrates his whole timetable from Monday to Sunday. He apologizes seventeen times. He adds emotional background music. By the time he finishes explaining why he cannot help, he is so tired that he agrees to help.

This is how people end up attending meetings they do not understand, contributing to harambees they cannot afford, and listening to stories they did not subscribe to.

Meanwhile, the bold people who say, “I am not available,” are resting peacefully, growing their businesses, reading books, and minding their destinies without guilt.

The friendly one is busy escorting a grown man to negotiate with his landlord.

You must understand something important. People do not respect unlimited access. They respect controlled access. Even WiFi has a password. But you, a whole human being with dreams, ambitions, and blood pressure, are operating like free public internet.

No password. No limits. Full signal everywhere.

Then you wonder why your battery is always low.

The day you start saying, “I will not manage,” you will notice a miracle. Some people will disappear. These are the ones who loved you for your usefulness, not your existence. Let them go peacefully. Do not chase them. They were never friends. They were projects.

Others will suddenly respect you. They will start asking, “Are you available?” instead of assuming you are permanently on standby like a generator during blackout.

A few will accuse you of changing. Accept the accusation with pride. Growth always looks like pride to people who benefited from your weakness.

Being less friendly does not mean becoming rude. It means becoming intentional. It means helping because you want to, not because you are afraid not to.

It means understanding that your time is not a donation center.

And the greatest shock will come when you realize how much free time you suddenly have. Time to think. Time to plan. Time to rest. Time to build your own life instead of being the emergency response team for everybody else’s chaos.

You will sit quietly one evening and ask yourself a painful question.

“All these years, was I kind… or was I simply afraid to say no?”

That is when healing begins.

© Charles Gondosio, 2026.

Address

Rainat. Musa@gmail. Com
Lagos

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