24/11/2025
15 Things Single Parents Must Do to Raise Balanced Children - Bisi Adewale
Raising children is never an easy task, but doing it alone as a single parent comes with even greater responsibility, pressure, and sacrifice. Yet, despite the challenges, it is possible to raise children who are not just survivors but strong, balanced, and emotionally stable individuals.
A single parent’s role is delicate. Children are like wet cement, whatever impression you leave on them will remain for a lifetime. They may lack the “two-wing balance” of a father and mother, but with wisdom, intentionality, and the help of God, they can grow into adults who shine bright in life, marriage, and destiny.
Here are 15 things every single parent must do to raise balanced children:
1. Give Them Double Love
Children from single-parent homes often battle silent fears of rejection and abandonment. They wonder: “Why did Daddy or Mummy leave?” “Am I not good enough?” Your love must be so loud that it drowns out these voices. Hug them often. Tell them you love them every day. Love is the fertilizer that grows emotional security.
2. Avoid Speaking Evil of the Other Parent
Never poison your child’s heart with bitterness against their absent parent. Even if they hurt you deeply, protect your child from that wound. Children who grow up hearing insults about one parent often end up confused and angry, torn between loyalty and pain. Your silence and maturity will save them years of internal conflict.
3. Be Both Firm and Tender
Some single parents either become too hard (trying to “overcompensate” as the father) or too soft (pampering out of guilt). Balance is the key. Discipline with love. Correct with understanding. Set boundaries, but do it with tenderness. Remember, children need structure as much as they need affection.
4. Guard Against Loneliness Overexposure
Many single parents, overwhelmed by work and survival, leave children alone for long hours. But constant loneliness breeds insecurity. Make deliberate time to be present. Share meals, play games, pray together, and listen to their stories. The presence of a loving parent can heal what the absence of another has caused.
5. Surround Them With Positive Role Models
Your child needs healthy exposure to balanced adults, uncles, aunts, mentors, teachers, and church leaders, who can model godly manhood or womanhood. Don’t let your child grow up with a one-sided worldview. Provide safe role models who can show them what you cannot give alone.
6. Teach Them Responsibility Early
Avoid pampering them to the point of helplessness. Teach them to clean up, cook simple meals, manage money, and take responsibility for their choices. Responsibility builds maturity, and maturity heals the wounds of absence.
7. Guard Against Overindulgence
Sometimes, guilt pushes parents to “buy love” with toys, gadgets, or money. This never works, it only creates entitlement. What your children need is your heart, not just your wallet. They will remember your attention far more than the shoes or video games.
8. Keep Their Spiritual Life Alive
Teach them to pray, read the Bible, attend church, and build faith in God. Let them know that even if an earthly parent is absent, they have a Heavenly Father who never abandons. A strong spiritual foundation gives children unshakable inner strength.
9. Deal With Your Own Wounds
You cannot give healing while you are still bleeding. If your heart carries bitterness, resentment, or shame from the past, seek help. Heal. Pray. Forgive. A wounded parent often unconsciously transfers that wound to their child. Whole parents raise whole children.
10. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Create a home where your children feel safe to ask questions and share feelings. When they ask about the absent parent, answer gently but truthfully, without bitterness. Don’t lie, but don’t wound them either. Your openness builds trust.
11. Celebrate Milestones With Them
Graduations, birthdays, small achievements, celebrate them. Small celebrations create big memories. They show children that they matter and that life is worth enjoying, even in a single-parent home.
12. Avoid Bringing Multiple Lovers Around
Exposing your child to a revolving door of relationships will confuse and destabilize them. It sends the wrong message about love and commitment. Be discreet, be wise, and don’t let loneliness lead you into mistakes that will hurt your child’s sense of stability.
13. Teach Them the Value of Hard Work
Show them by example that success comes by diligence, not shortcuts. Let them see you work hard and with integrity. Children raised by hardworking single parents often grow into resilient, disciplined adults who conquer life’s battles.
14. Protect Their Innocence
Because of absent supervision, children in single-parent homes can become vulnerable to abuse, peer pressure, or wrong influences. Be vigilant. Know their friends. Check what they watch. Guard their innocence fiercely; once it is lost, it cannot be regained.
15. Lean on God’s Grace
Above all, don’t raise your children in your own strength. Pray for them daily. Speak blessings over them. Ask God for wisdom beyond your human ability. You may be a single parent, but with God, you are never raising them alone.
Final Word
Single parenting is not a death sentence, and your children are not destined to be broken. With intentional love, wisdom, and faith, they can grow up balanced, confident, and godly. Remember, God specializes in turning broken stories into beautiful testimonies.
Your children may have started life with one parent, but by God’s grace, they can finish life strong, with both wings spread wide.
If this article blessed you, kindly share it with someone who needs encouragement. Together, let’s raise a generation of balanced children, no matter the circumstances.
