29/11/2025
12 Things Couples Must Stop Hiding From Each Other.
Marriage is designed by God to be a covenant of nakedness without shame (Genesis 2:25). It is a union where two become one, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and financially. Sadly, many couples live together under the same roof yet keep secrets from each other. These secrets may look harmless at first, but with time, they grow into cracks that weaken the foundation of the marriage.
When couples hide things from each other, they create distance. They breed suspicion. They destroy trust, the very oxygen of marriage. Today, I want to speak to your heart as a counselor and as a pastor: If you want intimacy, joy, and trust in your marriage, stop hiding these 12 things from each other.
1. Financial Struggles and Income
Money is one of the top causes of conflict in marriage. Some husbands or wives secretly borrow money, hide debts, or even conceal how much they earn. This is dangerous. Marriage is a partnership, not a business transaction. When you hide your financial state, you create unnecessary tension.
Be open about your income, debts, and expenses. Sit together, plan together, save together. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labour” (Ecclesiastes 4:9).
2. Health Challenges
Many spouses keep silent about their health struggles, whether it is hypertension, sexual dysfunction, depression, or hidden pain. They smile outside but are dying inside. This silence robs your partner of the opportunity to care for you.
Stop pretending. Share your health concerns. Let your spouse pray for you, walk with you to the hospital, and stand in faith with you. That is why you are one flesh.
3. Family Pressures and Interference
Sometimes, a spouse hides the pressure they are facing from in-laws or extended family. They silently endure insults, manipulation, or demands. But hiding it builds silent resentment.
Be open about family matters. Don’t carry the burden alone. Discuss boundaries with your spouse, and together, stand as one against external pressures. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife” (Genesis 2:24).
4. Unmet Emotional Needs
Many couples are starving emotionally, yet they pretend all is well. A wife may be longing for affection, and a husband may be yearning for respect, but both keep quiet. Silence here is not golden, it is dangerous.
Be honest about what you need emotionally. Tell your spouse how you feel loved, appreciated, and respected. It is not nagging; it is communication.
5. Sexual Desires and Struggles
Sex in marriage is holy and God-ordained, yet many couples hide their sexual frustrations, desires, or temptations. Some pretend to be satisfied when they are not. Others battle secret addictions in silence.
Talk about your sexual life. If you are not satisfied, speak in love. If you are tempted, confess and seek support. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3).
6. Past Mistakes and Failures
Every human has a past, some messy, some painful. Hiding past mistakes out of fear only creates walls. When your partner eventually finds out, it can cause deep betrayal.
Be truthful. If you made mistakes before marriage, let it be known in love. Healing flows where there is honesty. Remember, “The truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
7. Dreams and Aspirations
Some spouses hide their goals because they fear mockery or rejection. A husband may want to go back to school, but he keeps quiet. A wife may want to start a business but buries her dreams.
Share your heart. Marriage is for mutual support. When your spouse knows your aspirations, they can encourage and help you achieve them.
8. Friendships and Associations
Secret friends and hidden relationships have destroyed many homes. Some keep certain phone calls, chats, or visits away from their spouse. This is a seed of destruction.
Never hide friendships. If you cannot introduce that “friend” to your spouse, then that friendship is dangerous. Transparency builds trust.
9. Pain and Offenses
Many couples sweep offenses under the carpet. A wife feels hurt but keeps quiet. A husband feels disrespected but pretends it’s nothing. These unspoken pains grow into bitterness.
Stop hiding your hurts. Speak in love, not in anger. “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26). Address offenses quickly to prevent long-term damage.
10. Spiritual Weaknesses
Some hide their struggles with prayerlessness, temptation, or doubt. They pretend to be spiritually strong while they are actually weak. This hypocrisy keeps the couple from growing together in faith.
Be spiritually naked with your spouse. Share your struggles so you can pray for one another. “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed” (James 5:16).
11. Children’s Issues
Sometimes one parent notices something wrong with a child, behavioral changes, academic struggles, or peer influence, but hides it to avoid conflict. Silence here is dangerous because parenting is teamwork.
Discuss openly. If a child is struggling, face it together. Don’t hide school reports, bad habits, or concerns. United parenting strengthens children.
12. Fears and Insecurities
Every human has fears, fear of failure, of losing a job, of old age, of being abandoned. Many hide these insecurities behind fake confidence. But marriage should be a safe space where we reveal even our deepest fears.
Share your insecurities with your spouse. When you do, you invite them into your vulnerability, and this builds intimacy. “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18).
Final Word
Dear couples, marriage thrives on openness, honesty, and trust. When you stop hiding, you start healing. When you open up, you strengthen intimacy. Remember, Adam and Eve were both naked and were not ashamed. That is God’s pattern for every marriage.
If you want your marriage to flourish, pull down the walls, open the doors of your heart, and let your spouse in. Secrets create separation, but truth builds trust.
Wisdom for Couples: Stop hiding. Start sharing. Grow together.
