Imperfect I'mperfect

Imperfect I'mperfect Laat je niet meer beperken door wat anderen van je denken! Versterk je zelfbeeld en krijg betere resultaten

What did you notice in this post?Was is the message? The colour, the font? Or was it the typo right at the bottom?Becaus...
13/11/2025

What did you notice in this post?

Was is the message? The colour, the font? Or was it the typo right at the bottom?

Because that was there on purpose. To demonstrate how quickly our mind goes to the things that are off. The things are not as desired.

Our brain tends to focus on danger, and so we go to the future and fantasise about possible negative things that could occur.

Or it goes to the past, te relive painful experiences so that you will never have to have them again.

In both cases you’re suffering. In both cases you’re out of alignment with joy. In both cases you activate your Fight & Flight system for things that aren’t even there. At least not now. And may never ever happen.

By focusing on joy, you calm your nervous system down. That is where growth happens. That is where healing happens. That is where connection happens.

So do the counterintuitive thing: choose joy. Choose to notice what’s good. Even when not everything is great.

Trauma is having to go through an intense emotional experience, An experience where your (physical) integrity is at risk...
06/11/2025

Trauma is having to go through an intense emotional experience, An experience where your (physical) integrity is at risk.

Trauma can be big, a huge event that you can label as such. But it can also be smaller and repeated. Neglect, not been seen or heard.

What I usually see in my practice, is that trauma is always about feeling alone. No matter if it was a one-time event, a certain period of time or was happening throughout a longer period.

The younger you were when the trauma(s) occurred, the more likely your emotional development stagnated at that time. That is what we call “arrested development”. When entering similar situations, you are likely to react from that emotional age.

The good thing about trauma, is that it can be healed. By revisiting the trauma, accompanied by a certified therapist, we can rewrite the experience. You can normalise the emotions and relabel the thoughts you have formed about yourself, other people and the world around you.

In a visualisation, we virtually experience the things that happened to you, but this time in the presence of someone who stands up for you, supports you and sees you. And this is the beginning of your healing journey, so that the trauma doesn’t cast its shadow forward to the here and now.

Therapy is not for you. Because you are strong. Because you are doing okay-ish. And because other people’s problems are ...
16/07/2025

Therapy is not for you.

Because you are strong. Because you are doing okay-ish. And because other people’s problems are bigger than yours. And most of all: you are not crazy or damaged.

So you have decided to keep going. To be brave, cry when no one is watching. Or just escape in pleasure, work, relationships or substances so as not to feel what is missing.

And that is going really well. You think.

Because somewhere inside, you know that you are not being totally honest to yourself. Deep down, you know you are repeating what you were missing in your childhood: by not listening to yourself you are still not being seen fully. You are not being acknowledged and you continue to let that little child in you strive on their own.

And the pressure of outside success becomes bigger and bigger, to compensate for the loneliness and sense of unworthiness that you are feeling inside.

Because you are afraid of that will happen if you stop. That everything will fall apart. That you will never be able to stop crying. Or that you have no idea of what it is that you actually want. So it’s easier to keep going. Running from this fear of not being good enough. Not being loveable.

Starting therapy takes courage. Both for the patient and for the therapist. Because first there is the breaking down the walls, being vulnerable enough and trusting enough to let somebody in. Because you have been let down and disappointed so many times.

But when you do, that’s where the real magic begins: that’s when I get to perform my miracle surgery of mending the pieces of your broken heart. Because it is BS that time will heal all wounds. It won’t. You just learn to deal with it better.

Truly repairing the wounds, and even Upgrading the operating systems. Replacing the software that was put in there when you were a child and putting in cutting edge techniques will give you the best second half of your life.

When will you start?

Have you ever heard of High Functioning Depression? It sounds a bit weird, right? Because, the classic idea of depressio...
14/07/2025

Have you ever heard of High Functioning Depression? It sounds a bit weird, right?

Because, the classic idea of depression is to not be able to work, not get out of bed, and maybe even being suicidal. Not finding joy in anything you do. And yes, that is a very serious disease that needs serious treatment.

But what if it stays hidden between busy schedules and staying busy? We see more and more people in my practice who are just not happy enough. Who feel tired when they wake up, feel continuously irritated or guilty. Who are still delivering but don’t enjoy it anymore. Who operate on willpower.

They just stop being excited about things.

Stress is the biggest enemy in the process. Espcecially chronic stress.

The good news? It’s fairly easy to beat. By yourself. By doing some lifestyle interventions.

I can take you through these in my practice. Or give a lecture about it for your team or company. In case you decide to once and for all do things differently after you return from your summer break. Or when you don’t recharge enough or at all during your summer break.

Contact or of .academy ® to book me for your next event.

This is me. Two years ago. On the 23rd of June, the night of San Juan. The tradition (which is originally Catalan) at Sa...
24/06/2025

This is me. Two years ago. On the 23rd of June, the night of San Juan. The tradition (which is originally Catalan) at San Juan is to go to the beach and celebrate the light with a group of friends and share a picnic and light. At midnight, you dip into the water, after having proclaimed what you are leaving behind and what you are stepping into in the new year.
At that time, two years ago, I felt miserable and lonely. I saw all these people on the beach, with their families or groups of friends, surrounded by light. And I walked down the boulevard feeling lonely, insignificant, unseen and really sad.
But also determined to change that situation. There and then, I adopted the mantra “I haven’t yet met all the people that I’m going to love”. It helped me through some tough times.
And now fast forward to yesterday. San Juan again. I found myself sitting on that same beach, feeling so blessed, rich and fortunate. Now I was one of those people sitting in a group, sharing food, wine and laughter.
When I look at the pictures that were taken last night, I see that the sad and hollow look in my eyes is gone. The smile on my face has been replaced by a heartfelt one and I feel so happy, grounded, calm, blessed, and grateful.
Little did I know at that time, that my mantra was so true. I did find new people. I am very blessed with a lot of lovely people in my life. I have loved a lot and I have been loved.
Over the past year, most of them stayed. Some left. But also, a whole new group entered. I met new people that I was going to love. In fact, all the people I was with yesterday, I didn’t know two years ago.
So, what I’m trying to say is: if you are out there, feeling lonely and sad: trust that there will be new, good things on the way. Trust that you will love and be loved again. Maybe not in the way you expect, and not by the people you expect.

Prioritise being happy. Prioritise doing nice things. Prioritise treating yourself like the Love of your Life. Then you will attract likeminded people and other circumstances. Of that, I am convinced. ♥️

Six years ago today I published my book. What a milestone. It’s on many a bucketlist. And was it cool? Yes. Did I feel p...
21/06/2025

Six years ago today I published my book. What a milestone. It’s on many a bucketlist. And was it cool? Yes. Did I feel proud? Yes. Did it make me feel happier? I’m not sure.

I believe there are two things being happy WITH your life. And being happy IN your life.

The first one is about achieving the big things you want. The job. The love. The life goals.

Being happy IN your life is about the daily thing. It is about making sure you do the little things that give you fulfilment.

Sure, the Big things make sure you feel proud. And the small things make you feel happy. Together they make you feel grateful.

So today, I feel happy and grateful for this big milestone and the small things in day to day life. The sunsets, the connections, the good quality.

♥️

.academy have launched their annual magazine, featuring their most estimated Key Note Speakers. And I am honoured and pl...
13/02/2025

.academy have launched their annual magazine, featuring their most estimated Key Note Speakers. And I am honoured and pleased that they count me as one of them.

In the 2025 Magazine, they have included an article in which I explain how to better deal with stress. And moreover: how to be happier in life in general.
Because this,I believe, is the essence of our being. And in these stressful times, it is not a matter of fighting stress, but merely, how to better deal with it and let it work in your advantage.

Do you want to increase your happiness? Or do you want to better manage the stress levels of your team or in your company? Then this entertaining lecture might be for you!

Are you interested in a workshop or (tailor-made) keynote lecture? Then please follow the link in bio to see what is on offer.

THE ELEVATE THEORYAs most of you know, I don’t do new year’s resolutions. For the simple reason that i do not believe th...
07/01/2025

THE ELEVATE THEORY

As most of you know, I don’t do new year’s resolutions. For the simple reason that i do not believe they work. Research shows that most people do the first three weeks on willpower and then fall back into their old behaviour, with only one more disappointment about themselves to add to the list.

I do however believe in building strong habits. Habits that you can easily do and that you actually enjoy. For me one of them is hiking. Research also shows that hiking is not only good for your physical health, it also boosts your mental health.

In the past few months, for a number of reasons, I didn’t get around to my daily hike. Whereas (and i have the pictures to prove it), it live in hiking paradise. So i gave myself a good old kick in the but, and since december 27th I have been putting in at least 10k steps per day.

and i am loving it: i combine it with listening to podcasts of all kinds of cool doctors, neuroscientists and psychologists (DM me for tips!), but I also do mindful walks, meditations in nature and come up with a lot of great ideas on things that i feel stuck in.

Because that is what happens when you walk: you also set your brain in motion. The two hemispheres work together better and thus this is the best way to get unstuck.

Within my Upgrade Programme, i call this the “elevate theory”: it is all about elevating your happiness levels within your daily life, without making radical changes. Just elevating your mood, your outlook in life, by tweaking your mind, doing more of the things you love.

Because you know: you won’t become happy because you get the things you want; you get the things you want because you are happing.

This is the difference between being happy IN your life and being happy WITH your life.

So are you with me in making 2025 your happiest year yet?

Adres

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Het beeld dat je van jezelf hebt, bepaalt hoe je je gedraagt. En hoe je je gedraagt, bepaalt vervolgens weer je resultaten. En die resultaten dragen weer bij aan hoe je over jezelf denkt. Andere resultaten krijgen, begint dus bij een ander beeld van jezelf.