26/02/2026
I want to share something I wrote yesterday, because I think many of you will recognise this.
Nobody tells you that coming back to yourself looks a lot like falling apart first.
Yep..
The laundry that’s been sitting there for three days… the tears you didn’t see coming… the friend you love but couldn’t call back… the meal you didn’t make, so you just didn’t eat… the moment you couldn’t hold it all together the way you used to, and you’re left with the feeling of embarrassment, or even shame, and then the confusion of not knowing what any of it means yet, just this fog you’re standing in, and no map for it.
And this is what integration actually looks like… not anything perfect, nor composed, but real, because the body’s finally releasing what it carried for far too long, finally feeling the grief, finally accessing the pain, the confusion of it all, and yes, even the numbing and the withdrawing. …Because that’s part of it too, that’s the body’s way of surviving what was too much to feel all at once.
Therefore, it’s not that you’re falling apart. It’s that falling apart is part of coming back together.
So if your life looks a little messy right now, if the edges are soft and the ground feels uncertain, and you don’t quite recognise the woman standing in front of the mirror, then maybe, just maybe, you are not lost. Maybe you are exactly where you need to be, in between one version of yourself and the next, in the place that has no name yet, because you haven’t arrived there yet.
This is the butterfly’s chrysalis. And inside the chrysalis, before anything new can form, everything first has to dissolve. And not just a little. Completely. The caterpillar does not gently transform, it becomes liquid, nothing recognisable, and only then does something new begin to take shape.
So can you let it be messy? Can you let it be unfinished, and uncertain, and not yet anything you can explain to anyone, including yourself?
Bless the mess. It means you are in the middle of becoming.
And if you find yourself in this space and you want to go a little deeper, to feel a little more held, I write a private letter every Sunday, a quiet piece of wisdom that arrives in your inbox like a cup of tea on a slow morning.
https://www.rest2flow.com/
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This one came from the heart today