Inter-Being Psychologists

01/07/2023

Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger.

In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return.

Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. The objective (whether you realize it or not) is to shift attention to the faults of the other person, so that in turn you feel better about yourself in the moment.

Below are some of the typical causes or origins of being defensive:
👉 A reaction to feeling insecure or fearful. For example, if you were bullied as a child, you might turn into a bully yourself to feel more powerful in the moment by creating an illusion of security.
👉A reaction to early childhood trauma or abuse. Once again, being defensive is a way to feel more powerful.
👉 A reaction to anxiety or inability to be assertive. If you lack the skills to communicate in an assertive way, or feel anxious socially, this might translate into defensive behavior.
👉A reaction to shame or guilt. If you are feeling guilty about something and someone else brings up a related topic, then you might respond in a defensive manner.
👉 A reaction to hiding the truth. You may become defensive if you are trying to hide the truth about something or lying.
👉 A reaction to attacks on your character or behavior. If you feel as though you need to justify actions you have taken or some aspect of your character, then you may respond in a defensive manner.
👉 A reaction to feeling helpless to change. If someone points out a part of you that you want to change but feel helpless about, then you may respond in a defensive manner.
👉 A symptom of a mental health disorder. Sometimes, defensiveness is part of a larger mental health problem such as a personality disorder, eating disorder, etc.
👉 A learned behavior. Defensiveness can also be something that you learn from a parent or spouse, as a way of relating to others.

In general, being defensive is usually the result of psychosocial causes rather than biological or chemical causes. It’s a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context.

See more here:
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-defensiveness-5115075

Defensiveness by definition is the effort to deflect and explain away behavior that's being criticized, rather than accepting responsibility for and changing it.

01/07/2023

Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger.

Below are some of the typical causes or origins of being defensive:
👉 A reaction to feeling insecure or fearful. For example, if you were bullied as a child, you might turn into a bully yourself to feel more powerful in the moment by creating an illusion of security.
👉A reaction to early childhood trauma or abuse. Once again, being defensive is a way to feel more powerful.
👉 A reaction to anxiety or inability to be assertive. If you lack the skills to communicate in an assertive way, or feel anxious socially, this might translate into defensive behavior.
👉A reaction to shame or guilt. If you are feeling guilty about something and someone else brings up a related topic, then you might respond in a defensive manner.
👉 A reaction to hiding the truth. You may become defensive if you are trying to hide the truth about something or lying.
👉 A reaction to attacks on your character or behavior. If you feel as though you need to justify actions you have taken or some aspect of your character, then you may respond in a defensive manner.
👉 A reaction to feeling helpless to change. If someone points out a part of you that you want to change but feel helpless about, then you may respond in a defensive manner.
👉 A symptom of a mental health disorder. Sometimes, defensiveness is part of a larger mental health problem such as a personality disorder, eating disorder, etc.
👉 A learned behavior. Defensiveness can also be something that you learn from a parent or spouse, as a way of relating to others.

In general, being defensive is usually the result of psychosocial causes rather than biological or chemical causes. It’s a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context.

See more here:
https://lnkd.in/g8S-2YDF

18/05/2023

Today we are glad to introduce you to Ashleigh - our very understanding and hard-working office manager in !

ASHLEIGH HONIG, OFFICE MANAGER
My primary tasks as office manager are to ensure office operations run smoothly, all procedures are diligently followed, and office functions are adequately monitored to guarantee that our therapists will dedicate all necessary time to you.
 
Having undergone my own mental health journey, I am aware of the effort and courage it takes to seek professional support. Combining my trained and personal experience, I aim to assist you throughout this process wherever possible.

Here is a link to her profile on our website: https://lnkd.in/efArvf6w
 

24/04/2023

Inter-Being Groningen is moving today!

We are pleased to announce that as of today we have new premises in the city center of Groningen, only a few minutes’ walk from our current office location!

Over the past 4 months, our new facility at Poststraat 5 has been rebuilt into a modern mental healthcare institution with 5 therapy rooms. This new location will give us the opportunity to further optimize the level of healthcare provided at Inter-Being.

All our contact details stay the same!

14/02/2023

"I was born in 1944 in Budapest, Hungary, to a Jewish family - just before the German occupation of Hungary. Everyone knows what happened to the Jews in Eastern Europe at that time. When the German army entered Budapest, I was 2 months old. The next day my mom called the pediatrician and asked him, "Can you come check on Gabor because he does not stopping crying?", the pediatrician said, "Of course, I will, but let me tell you that all babies of Jewish families I care for right now, are crying."

But why? What do babies understand about Hi**er, genocide and war? Nothing. We have simply picked up on our mothers' fears and stress. This is exactly the mechanism by which the child's brain is formed. In such a negative, stressful environment, the child receives the clear message that the world does not want him - if his mother is not happy around him, then she does not want him. Why did I become a workaholic later in life? The answer: if they don't want me, at least let them need me. If I'm good, if I'm an important doctor, people will need me, and so I can make up for the feeling of not being wanted - from the very beginning of my life. This means that I will be working non-stop, and when I am not working, I will be filling my inner emptiness by buying music. And what message are my children getting in this case? That they are not wanted. And so we pass that message on, we pass the pain, the trauma, the unconscious from generation to generation."

Source: Lecture "The Power of Addiction and the Addiction to Power" (for TED - World Series of Lectures and Conferences) by Dr. Gabor Maté

21/01/2023

Here and now is based on the idea that the client's interpersonal issues will eventually emerge in the therapeutic relationship. A woman who feels betrayed by all her friends and family will probably feel betrayed by her therapist at some time. A man with anger issues will eventually feel angry in therapy. Addressing the material that emerges in the room becomes the focus. Therapy becomes less talking about issues and more working with them as they happen, in the here and now.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/in-therapy/201009/yalom-the-here-and-now

01/01/2023

⭐ Happy New 2023 Year from our team! ⭐

May it be an extraordinary one for all of you!

24/12/2022

⭐ Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person. ⭐

Respect, equality and care are the core values for how we treat our clients and colleagues at Inter-Being. Our team works tirelessly every day to make sure that we provide the best mental health care possible for our clients.

On this day we look back to all the care we have given and we have received ❤

"The term ‘Inter-Being’ refers to the fact that as human beings we cannot exist by ourselves alone, we can only inter-be. Healing can happen in a relationship between human beings.
To love means to fully understand the other’s suffering and understanding is the best gift one can give to another person. When we accept others just as they are, they have a chance to transform."

Merry Christmas to everyone from our Team🎄 ❄

18/12/2022

You can't change what happened but can heal the psychological wound with manifestations in your body.

Gabor Maté

08/12/2022

Meditation is a beautiful tool for fostering self-reflection and peace of mind. But does it work for everyone?

If you suffer from chronic conditions such as anxiety, depression, or posttraumatic stress disorder, meditation may worsen your symptoms.

Traditional meditation, such as sitting silently and relaxing your mind, is very challenging when your inner world is in chaos.

If you suffer from the following chronic conditions, meditation may not be your best option.
👉 Intense anxiety: Anxiety can turn your inner world into chaos filled with intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, rumination, or paranoia. Turning your attention inward could spike an increase in dread and discomfort.

👉 Ongoing depression: People struggling with depression tend to isolate themselves, withdraw from the world, and spend too much time alone. Meditation could fuel further reclusiveness.

👉 Trauma: Trauma can cause disassociation and panic attacks. When trauma is triggered, the mind tends to fragment, and trying to quiet your thoughts can feel like an insurmountable challenge.

👉 Psychotic episodes: Psychosis is generally defined as a break in reality testing; this leads to an unstable and fragile sense of self. Meditation could further this break and magnify distortions.

👉Active addiction: If someone is in the throes of active addiction, it’s difficult for any form of meditation or therapy to be effective. Meditation could increase cravings and thoughts of using drugs or alcohol.

If you find meditation unbearable, consider forms of meditation that draw your focus outside of yourself by giving you a task or activity to focus on. Some nontraditional forms include walking, hiking, fishing, swimming, surfing, painting, cooking, chanting, exercising, writing, stretching, coloring, crafting, biking, reading, or gardening.

It will take time and experimentation to find your form of meditation. Enjoy the adventure and remember, a meditation practice isn’t just calming; it has the power to improve all areas of your life.

See the whole article here:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/202212/why-meditation-doesn-t-work-everyone

Meditation can be problematic for people with these 5 chronic conditions.

26/10/2022

It takes a false turn every now and then to arrive at the right destination.

When a decision has to be made, make it. There is no totally right time for anything.

15/10/2022

Brené Brown studies human connections - our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a sharp, funny talk at TED she shares a deep insight from her research that set her on a personal quest to both know herself and understand humanity.

Here some fragments from the talk:
"Where I started was with connection...because connection is why we are here. It is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it is all about...
Six weeks into this research I run into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection...shame.

Shame is the fear of disconnection...is there something about me that if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection? We all have it, it is universal.

What underpinned shame...was excruciating vulnerability. This idea that in order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen. Really seen. ..
If I roughly took the people that I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness, they have a strong sense of love and belonging, and folks who struggle with it, who are always wondering if they are good enough. There was only one variable separating them - the people who have strong sense of love and belonging believed they were worth of love and belonging.

I then took all of the interviews in which I saw worthiness and people living that way...what did these people have in common? What they had in common was a sense of courage, the courage to be imperfect, they had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and to others. We can't practice compassion for other people if we cannot treat ourselves kindly. The last one was that they had connection as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of the thought they should be in order to be who they were. You have to absolutely do that for connection..."

"The Power of Vulnerability" Video by Brené Brown

See the video here:
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=nl -210970

ブレネー・ブラウン氏は関係性 — 私たちが持つ共感・所属・愛情といった生得的能力 — について研究する。 TEDxHoustonにおける感動的で笑いにあふれるトークでは、自身の研究 — 人間性理解への興味とともに自分自身を知...