24/07/2025
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Allow, Accept, Embrace – the three stages of Breakthrough
Breakthrough has three distinct stages that can help us surrender more deeply into the process. These stages can also help give us a solid sense of where we are in our own emotional terrain, as well as where we are heading.
The first stage is about allowing the painful feeling. Whether the feeling is anger, fear, numbness, resentment, grief or any other emotion, the first step is to simply allow yourself to feel it. You don’t have to like it or accept it. You can even hate the feeling. To allow the feeling is to provide some space around it. Until you allow the feeling in, you are in denial of the pain and it will fester inside your psyche. The beauty of allowing is that it is so generous. It just opens the door a little, as much as we are comfortable. There is no pressure from allowing. We just take a peek at the pattern. We can even close the door again if it seems too painful. Allowing is a process in which we gradually open the door wider over a period of time.
The second stage occurs when we have done a certain amount of allowing. Acceptance occurs as we begin to get used to the discomfort. We realise that the emotional pain will not kill us. It can seem overwhelming, it can seem terrifying, it can make us feel irritated or deadened or filled with rage. As we come to accept a negative pattern, it is rather like taking in a stray dog or cat that has been abused. It takes time to rebuild trust. That hurt part of our psyche needs this acclimatisation period in which we gradually come to realise the depth of our pain. Whereas allowing makes space for all manner of feelings and extremes, acceptance brings us to a deeper and more mature place in which we are authentically facing our own pain or difficulty with love and understanding.
The final stage is embracing and it is the culmination of any breakthrough. Once an emotional shadow pattern has been fully accepted at the deepest level, it is effectively purged from our system. The painful memory that gave rise to the difficulty has been met with our deepest, most heartfelt compassion. It has been allowed to express itself without being projected onto another as blame. Neither have we in any way repressed the shadow as something shameful that we wish to forget. Over a period of time through our great courage, the pattern has been transformed, and in a beautiful twist it has become something remarkable – it has become Grace. Grace can take many forms – it can come as forgiveness, self-empowerment, humility or any other profound sense of emotional resolution. The essence of the breakthrough is that our pain reveals its true higher purpose which is to bring us a profound sense of wholeness and love.
gene keys
