Recipes4Change, Oostduinlaan 22, The Hague (2026)

19/01/2026

What if one of our deepest emotional needs is also one of the most overlooked?

During my Transactional Analysis training (TA), I learned about a concept that profoundly changed how I understand relationships, communication, and personal growth: 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨.

In TA, a stroke is a 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. The idea stems from research by René Spitz, who observed that infants deprived of physical stimulation fared far worse than those who received it. Touch, attention, and recognition are not optional for human beings, they are essential.

As adults, we may no longer rely solely on physical touch, but the need for recognition remains just as strong. We substitute touch with other forms of acknowledgment: a smile, a nod, eye contact, a kind word, a compliment, or even constructive feedback.

In TA we refer to this deep human need as “stroke hunger.”
We all seek strokes, consciously or unconsciously, and we often shape our behaviour, choices, and relationships around getting them.

Strokes can be positive or negative, verbal or non-verbal, unconditional (about who we are) or conditional (about what we do).

In my coaching and counselling practice, I see often how people:

😞Accept negative strokes because any recognition feels better than none.
😩Struggle to receive positive strokes, even when they crave it.
🏆Tie self-worth exclusively to performance, approval, or achievement.

Awareness and understanding of strokes help us:

💫 Improve communication.
💫Build healthier relationships.
💫Strengthen self-esteem.
💫Create workplaces and homes where people feel genuinely seen.

Recognition is a human need. When we become conscious of it, we can transform how we relate to ourselves and others.

👉 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵?

👉 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴?

14/01/2026

My name is Rawia, which in Arabic means a female storyteller, and there is nothing I find more meaningful, inspiring, empowering, and enjoyable than the sharing of stories.

That is exactly what we experienced yesterday morning during a session I facilitated as part of the Bezuidenhout
Social Club meet-ups.

Through imagination, creativity, and a willingness to be spontaneous, we created stories in pictures. The experience was both insightful and inspiring, reminding us that even in challenging times, shared stories can help us stay connected, bonded, and supportive of one another.

Stories play a central role in my work as a coach and counsellor. Often, clients bring the stories they were told growing up, about who they are, what they are capable of, and what is expected of them. These narratives often shape their beliefs, behaviours, and choices well into adulthood. The empowering part of this work is recognising that these stories are not fixed. With awareness and support, we can question them, reframe them, and consciously create new narratives that better serve who we are becoming.

Thank you, Zeyda Erol, for creating this meaningful space, and thank you to all the participants for your openness, curiosity, and willingness to share your stories.

What story has shaped you the most, and how might it be influencing the way you show up in your life today?

09/01/2026

I inherited a beautiful habit from my dad: the ability to talk effortlessly to strangers.

My dad loved people. He genuinely enjoyed striking up conversations with anyone, anywhere. I still remember when he came to visit me in Scotland after the birth of my first daughter. He insisted on travelling by train instead of flying, not for comfort, but because, as he said, it would give him more time and opportunity to talk to people.

I admired that about him. I loved watching how animated he became in conversation, how quickly he put people at ease, and how effortlessly he made them laugh with one witty remark after another.

Over the years, this habit of talking to strangers has stayed with me. It has helped me remain open and curious, and it has led to countless meaningful connections I would never have made had I not dared to start a conversation. It also deeply complements my work as a coach and counsellor.

Many of my clients tell me that they find it easy to talk to me, even about difficult or vulnerable topics. They often say they feel safe, seen, and truly heard. I believe this comes from the same place my dad modelled so naturally: genuine interest, presence, and an openness to the human in front of you.

Just yesterday, I experienced this again. I was sitting in a café next to a woman reading a book. At one point, she took a photo of a passage on the page. I smiled and told her that I do the same, capturing words that feel particularly meaningful or insightful. That simple comment sparked a lovely, spontaneous conversation and an exchange of ideas. We later connected on LinkedIn to stay in touch.

I’ve also noticed how much culture shapes our relationship with strangers. Growing up in Lebanon, talking to people you didn’t know was encouraged. When I moved to the UK, I learned it was often frowned upon. In the Netherlands, it seems far more common and socially acceptable again.

Beyond openness and connection, talking to strangers helps reduce prejudice and expand our frame of reference. Some of the richest, most perspective-shifting conversations I’ve ever had came from unplanned moments when I dared to speak to someone I didn’t know.

I’m forever grateful to my dad for demonstrating this way of being, again and again. May he rest in peace.

I’m curious,
is talking to strangers encouraged or discouraged in your culture?

08/01/2026

At this time of year, many of us naturally pause and reflect.
Am I happy in my relationships?
In my family life?
In my work and in myself?

And if the answer is “𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦”, we may feel drawn towards change.

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I meet many people who are deeply committed to their self-development. They invest in courses, coaching, counselling or therapy, yet still find that real change can feel frustratingly hard.

Why? Because change challenges our habits, our comfort zones, and sometimes even our sense of identity. It’s common to resist, self-sabotage, distract ourselves, or give up altogether when the process feels uncomfortable.

One powerful way to support yourself through change is by making a 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, and approaching the process with kindness and compassion, for self and others.

I was introduced to this idea during my Transactional Analysis training, and I’ve seen time and again how grounding and motivating it can be, personally and professionally.

The exercise is simple but profound:
Take a piece of paper or a notebook. When you are about to embark on a coaching programme, counselling journey, or any intentional self-development work, take time to reflect and write honest answers to the following five questions:

𝟭️. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝘆?
This clarifies your needs, values, and deeper motivation. When your “why” is clear, commitment becomes stronger.

𝟮️. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀?
This helps you identify resources, skills, support systems, and practical arrangements needed, and breaks the journey into manageable steps.

𝟯️. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲?
Change needs to be visible, tangible, and felt. What will be different in your behaviour, communication, or emotional experience?

𝟰️. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀?
This brings awareness to old patterns, inner critics, and predictable obstacles, allowing you to plan for them rather than be derailed by them.

𝟱️. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗜 𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗺?
Celebration matters. Acknowledging progress builds confidence, reinforces change, and honours your effort.

Once completed, keep this 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 somewhere safe. Revisit it when motivation dips or when the journey feels challenging. It can become a powerful anchor.

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦, 𝘐’𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

17/12/2025

Every winter, as we approach Christmas, I notice the same familiar shift.

My energy begins to soften and slow, and I feel an inner pull to retreat, reflect, and rest. By the third week in December, I intentionally stop taking new appointments, closing my practice until early January. I create a warm, calm environment at home, one that supports stillness and restoration.

Earlier in my life, I resisted this rhythm. Slowing down felt uncomfortable, even anxiety-provoking, especially when the world around me seemed to be accelerating into end-of-year urgency.

Now, both personally and professionally, I understand how necessary this pause is. As a coach and counsellor, I see every day how burnout often comes from ignoring our natural cycles. Rest is not a luxury, it’s a requirement for clarity, resilience, and meaningful growth.

Instead of pushing through, I choose to rest. I set clear boundaries, step back, and allow space for integration. I often encourage my clients to do the same: to honour their nervous systems, release the pressure to perform, and trust that slowing down creates the conditions for renewal.

Nature models this beautifully. Trees let go of their leaves and stand bare through winter, conserving energy and making space for the growth that will come in spring. We, too, are allowed seasons of quiet and “doing nothing.”

As the year closes, I’m looking forward to simple comforts, time with loved ones, warmth, and moments of ease. I trust that this period of rest will nourish what’s next.

Wishing you a peaceful close to the year and a new year ahead filled with clarity, balance, and fresh beginnings.

15/12/2025

We tend to carry our mental and emotional load in silence.�Many of us wait years before seeking support.

I was no exception.

In my early 30s, I knew I needed help. Yet because I had food on the table and a roof over my head, I felt too “privileged” to ask for support.

What would I even say?�Shouldn’t I be happy with what I have?

It took another decade, and a breakdown, before I finally reached out. That single moment of asking for help became the turning point that took me from breakdown to breakthrough.

Today, as a coach and counsellor, I see this same hesitation in so many people I work with. We rush to get help for physical pain, yet delay seeking support for emotional suffering.

Why is that?

Clients often tell me:
✋🏾 “𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦.”�🙊 “𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺.”�🤪 “𝘖𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺.”�😥 “𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.”

These are inherited beliefs shaped by culture and generations before us, and they deserve to be challenged.

Removing the stigma around emotional and mental wellbeing is essential, especially at this time of year. The season of togetherness often comes with pressure to be jolly, leaving little room for anything else.

A few important truths about therapy:
💡 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘁.�It’s a courageous relationship where deep truths are explored without judgment, allowing healing to happen.

🙌 𝗔 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻. They challenge perspectives, offer practical tools, and help you reconnect with your inner world, beyond old stories and beliefs.

🔎 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀. They help you uncover the truth that already lives within you.

🌱 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽. Together, you can repair old wounds and step into something new.

I’ll be honest, engaging in this work is not always comfortable. It can be confronting. But with the right practitioner, what once felt unbearable becomes something you can face and move through.

So, no, therapy is not for the weak.�It is for the 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦.

Stop waiting for life to change.�Dare to change instead.

If you’re curious about working with me, or need a referral for a specific issue, feel free to reach out. I’m part of a large therapists’ network.

04/12/2025

Self-esteem is central to our well-being. It shapes how we move through the world, how we cope, how we love, and how we perceive our own worth. I understood this early in life, and I also knew that my own low self-esteem had contributed to many of the struggles I faced.

If you’ve ever felt unworthy of happiness, felt the need to constantly prove yourself, questioned whether you deserve love, feared being an imposter, or caught yourself viewing others as inferior, then you’ve likely experienced low self-esteem.

Like many parents, I wanted my children to grow up with a strong sense of who they are. But I quickly realized something important:
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘯𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧?

That question marked the beginning of my journey.

With time, I learned that the only sustainable way to pass on high self-esteem is to cultivate it within ourselves first. This understanding set me on a long path of personal development. I engaged in coaching, counselling, and eventually trauma therapy. The work wasn’t always easy, it brought up painful memories and uncomfortable truths. but it was also liberating, healing, and deeply rewarding.

And then something magical happened:
As my self-esteem rose, so did my children’s.

That was when I truly understood the power of doing our own inner work. By investing in my emotional and mental well-being, I was influencing not only my own life but the lives of future generations.

This journey eventually led me to my purpose and the work I do today.

As a coach and counsellor, I support clients to explore the stories they tell themselves, the interpretations they formed as children to make sense of their world. These unexamined stories often become the roots of low self-esteem and the reason so many people underestimate their worth.

What began as a source of pain slowly transformed into clarity, peace, and purpose.

The greatest lesson I learned is this:
𝘛𝘰 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴.

I am grateful for that moment of clarity years ago.
Grateful for the courage it took to ask for help.
And grateful to have discovered that change is always possible when we believe in it and commit to it.

Does this resonate? Let’s talk.

01/12/2025

What out-dated story are you still living by today?
Are you aware of it, and of its impact on your life? Would you like to bring it into your awareness? After all, you can’t change what you don’t know exists.

Those who know me may also know that I am mixed. My mum was from Ghana and my dad from Lebanon. I’ve always lived at the intersection of identities, African and Arab, Catholic and Muslim. I was baptised as a baby, then raised in a Muslim household as a child and teen.

My parents divorced before I was two, and the years that followed were unsettled. I was moved from one carer and home to another, until I arrived, in the sixties, at my Lebanese grandmother’s doorstep in Tripoli. Not many people looked like me then. I was one of only two Black pupils in the entire school.

The result? Years of discrimination during the most impressionable period of my life. My brown skin became a reason to reject me, mock me, ignore me, or treat me with inferiority. It’s not surprising that, in the midst of instability and bias, I formed the belief that 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, and that I needed to work hard to earn people’s love.

When you repeat a story to yourself long enough, it becomes your truth. And it quietly shapes every choice you make.

That story followed me through my teens and young adulthood, affecting both my personal and professional life. In my thirties, I reached a breaking point, a crisis that pushed me toward seeking coaching and counselling. It was in those sessions that I finally brought this old, out-dated story into my awareness. I began questioning it, challenging it, and slowly letting it go.

That’s when life began to change. That’s when I learned to love myself, and to let others love the authentic me too. That’s when joy and fulfilment began to flow, touching everyone around me.

Today, as a coach and counsellor, I see echoes of my journey in my clients. Many are still living according to a story they wrote decades ago, a story that once helped them survive, but now keeps them stuck.

These unconscious beliefs can hold people back from promotions, interviews, relationships, healthy boundaries, authenticity, creativity, or simply allowing themselves to be.

Together, my clients and I, gently uncover these old narratives. We examine them with curiosity, not judgement. And when they’re ready, they choose to release the story that no longer serves them, and begin writing a more authentic, empowered one.

𝘚𝘰, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶? Are you still holding on to an out-dated story? Is it time to bring it into your awareness?

If you’re ready, let’s talk. I’d be honoured to support you on that journey.

25/11/2025

“𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵—𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘮 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯!”

This realisation surfaced in almost every 𝙍𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙈𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮 workshop I facilitated this year, including the final one last Friday. And every time, it reminds me how deeply our family narratives can shape our present-day relationship with money, often without our awareness.

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I see again and again how exploring our trans-generational money script can bring clarity to the beliefs, emotions, and behaviours we carry today. When we understand where these patterns come from, we gain the freedom to let go of what isn’t ours to hold, and create a money relationship that reflects who we are now, not who our grandparents were then.

To everyone who joined the workshops this past year: thank you. Your trust, openness, and willingness to share your stories enrich the work more than you know. I also deeply appreciate your feedback on how I can continue to refine and improve the experience.

If you’re curious about exploring your own relationship with money, or noticing patterns you’d like to understand or change, I’d be happy to connect.

24/11/2025

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

A common question clients bring into the coaching and counselling room.

Have you ever found yourself caught in that unsettling space where you keep asking, “𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘰?”
I have, both personally and professionally. And many of the individuals I work with arrive at this exact crossroads at some point in their lives.

While this in-between space can feel uncomfortable, it also offers a powerful opportunity for growth when explored with support.

As a coach and counsellor, I don’t tell clients what to do. Instead, I help them understand why they’re stuck, and to discover the answer that is right for them, free from old stories, outdated beliefs and unconscious influences.

Using the Ego State model from Transactional Analysis, we explore:
🔵 Old 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 beliefs that still influence decisions.
🟡 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 needs that may be driving emotional responses.
🟢 The 𝗔𝗱𝘂𝗹𝘁 voice that brings clarity in the here and now.

We reach dilemmas like “Should I stay or go?” when we’re unknowingly negotiating between 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 and 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀, while our Adult gets overwhelmed or drowned out.

In our sessions, we explore questions such as:
🟡 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺?
🔵 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴?
🟢 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘰 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨?

Often, the dilemma isn’t really about staying or going, it’s about untangling past influences so the authentic self can choose clearly.

If you find yourself at such crossroads, working with a coach or counsellor can help you access clarity, confidence and an authentic sense of direction.

If this resonates, feel free to reach out.

21/11/2025

Do you unknowingly carry unconscious bias?

When I was a child in Lebanon, lunchtime at school meant squeezing through a sea of elbows and shouts to reach a tiny kiosk window. One day, after finally fighting my way in and buying my sandwich, I realised I’d been given too much change.

Returning it wasn’t a question, my grandmother had raised me with values that were non-negotiable. So, I pushed my way back in, called out to the woman who served me, and handed her the money she’d given me by mistake.

The woman serving was stunned. She stared at me, mouth open, eyes wide, not at her error, but at 𝓂ℯ. At the Black girl who, in her mind, wasn’t expected to act with honesty or integrity.

From that day forward, she served me first. It was her way of showing appreciation. And as a child, I took it as kindness.

Now, as an adult, and as a coach and counsellor, with a deeper understanding of systems, behaviour and bias, I see something else:

𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘰𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦.

I had unknowingly been carrying the pressure to “prove” that I was good, trustworthy and deserving, because the world around me expected less.

Many Black people know this feeling too well.

I even heard it years later from a well-meaning manager: “You’ll have to work twice as hard as your white colleagues to be recognised.”

These moments stay with us. They shape how we walk into rooms, how we hold ourselves, and how we believe we’re allowed to exist.

In my work today, I sit with clients as they unlearn these inherited messages.
We explore the unconscious biases that shape our choices, our relationships, our sense of safety and our sense of self.

We let go of what was never ours to carry.

My invitation to you is this:
𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁. 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗯𝗶𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽, 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱?

Awareness is the first step toward change.

Does this resonate? Let’s talk.

17/11/2025

The Joy of Burnout: A Path to Transformation

Some of my clients share a common fear, the fear of burning out again. They’ve experienced the exhaustion, disconnection, and loss of meaning that come with burnout, and they never want to return there.

In my own journey, I’ve come to see that burnout, painful as it is, can also be a powerful turning point. When I discovered 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘑𝘰𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘉𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘵 by Dr. Dina Glouberman, her words deeply resonated with me:

“𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴 𝘫𝘰𝘺.”

Before starting my coaching and counselling practice, I experienced burnout myself, though I didn’t recognise it at the time. After many years working as a pharmacist, I realised that what truly fulfilled me wasn’t the dispensing of medicines, but the moments of real human connection: listening, understanding, and helping people feel seen.

Burnout forced me to pause and re-evaluate. It was my wake-up call, the sign that I was ready for change. Through my own healing and professional training, I began to see burnout not as an ending, but as an invitation to live and work in alignment with who we really are.

Today, in my coaching and counselling work, I support clients to uncover the deeper messages behind their burnout. Together, we explore the patterns that led them there, the drive to over give, the struggle to say no, the belief that their worth depends on doing rather than being, and to find new, sustainable ways to live, work and relate.

Burnout can be a doorway to transformation, if we are willing to listen to what it’s trying to tell us.

If you’re feeling depleted, disconnected, or afraid of burning out again, let’s talk.

Let’s explore how you can turn burnout into breakthrough, and reconnect you with your energy, purpose and joy.

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