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26/02/2026

Day 14 of 14

Becoming an emotionally well regulated bride 👰

We have come to the end of our journey of regulation and I thought we might end it with something that affects a lot of us - people pleasing!!
Many people notice increased people pleasing during major life transitions like weddings.
This reflects learned relational patterns — particularly those organised around maintaining harmony and belonging.
These responses are adaptive, even if they no longer fully serve you

25/02/2026

Day 13 of 14 to becoming a well regulated bride 👰 ❤️

Today I want to talk about JEALOUSY and why it makes us feel s**t but also makes us human.

It evolved to help us detect threats to connection, belonging, and security.It’s not something to be ashamed of it’s something to understand.

Self-criticism only adds a second layer of suffering

10/02/2026

Just a qu**ky 😉 today guys.
Welcome to day 2 of my journey (and yours) to becoming a well regulated bride. Today we are keeping things short, sweet and simple. We’ve got to harness the basics!

09/02/2026

I want to let you in on a secret. I’m kind of dysregulated - how do I know - well my sleep is crappy and I feel on edge. I am not too far away from my wedding now and wishing I just eloped lol. Come along with me for the next 14 days as I regulate myself again!

02/12/2024

I will be returning to the office post maternity leave in February 2025 for a limited amount of clients. Please note this is for ONLINE therapy only.

Email victoriathompsonpsychology@gmail.com to secure your spot 👩‍💻

04/01/2024

Affairs. They happen. And they are devastating. Sometimes they lead to the breakdown of a relationship and sometimes they don’t. Staying with someone after an affair often feels like the ‘frowned upon’ option but many couples do make it through infidelity, and you are entitled to make a choice that feels best to you (with the option of course to change your mind).

Here are a few things to think about when working with your partner to recover from an affair. If possible and available to you I do recommend seeking therapy following infidelity - it is no easy feat to recover from.

18/09/2023

This is something that often comes up in conversation with parents - why are my two kids so different under stress. Understanding Temperament is such an important part of learning to support your child.

Temperament has some biological disposition, whereas personality is the expression of it. You can start to see a child’s temperament really early on - perhaps you notice that they are a bit more shy around other people than your other child, or more cautious playing with other children.

I think that this analogy is useful to get some insight into the idea of temperament. There are some developments to this idea too (a tulip child) but here are the bare bones of this idea to start with!

05/09/2023

Here’s one for all my parents out there!

Parenting style can have a massive influence on children and in particular how they manage distress. I can’t take credit for this idea - it’s actually something used for eating disorder treatment but I think it’s applicable outside of that too! It’s a useful tool to reflect more on what your style might be and if you have a co parent what their style is.

Ideally we want to be more like a dolphin. Swimming alongside, gently guiding and nudging rather than dragging our young person through their problems.

Let me know in the comments which one you are!

31/08/2023

Who has felt like this before? 🤚

I feel this one deeply. It was particularly apparent when I was doing my clinical training to become a psychologist. I kept wondering why I had been selected for the course or if they had made a mistake.

Overcoming this sometimes is about ‘faking it until you make it’ - going forward even though you have a lot of self doubt.

Interestingly there are a lot of personality factors that can influence the likelihood of experiencing this, things like perfectionism and neuroticism.

Remember to focus on you not anyone else. You are on your own journey.

27/08/2023

It’s really hard to know what to say to our friends when they’re struggling with body image concerns and/or eating disorders. It can almost feel automatic to compliment others physically. However, even with the best intentions sometimes these compliments can do more harm than good.

Rule of thumb is to stay away from compliments about their physical status. Instead, focus on all of the other parts of them that have so much more meaning - their kindness, their joy for life, their humour…perhaps you’ve noticed a few of these things starting to return for them. Maybe you feel like you lost a bit of them there for a while, but slowly but surely you can see those parts come back.

Here are some ideas of things to say and also a short comment about how the s**tty eating disorder can twist our words.

❤️

02/08/2023

There are many challenges experienced by those with eating disorders. It’s not an easy thing to struggle with. Certain situations often prove to be more challenging and require a lot of courage and where possible support! These are some of the situations that my clients often struggle with ♥️

26/07/2023

Sometimes we say things we don’t mean an argument. Let’s be honest. There are times where we can recognise that things aren’t going well in conflict. As tempting as it is to keep going sometimes - we do know when to step away and to redirect the way the argument is going.

Here are some pointers to get you back on the right track! Let’s learn how to fight well 💜

Address

24-26 Pollen Street
Auckland
1011

Website

https://www.victoriathompsonpsychology.com/

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