Pūkenga Psychology

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01/03/2026

Three weeks ago, I was in a busy car park after finding out I needed surgery.

I cried so hard I couldn’t see.
I couldn’t drive.
I called my husband just to cry and it didn’t make it better.

This is the part people don’t always see.
The wave comes.
The tinana surges.
Our mauri completely stirred awake.
The nervous system goes into overwhelm.

Sometimes we need to feel it and sometimes we need to support ourselves through it.

So I tapped.
I slowed my breathing.
I brought my tinana back to baseline or as close as I could get it.

Not because the news changed but because I needed to drive home regulated. It came a point where the crying was making me feel worse.

You see 6 seconds, but it took me 15 minutes of this in the car and another half a day to re-regulate, not to a place of tau, but our of a place of sadness.This is the work. Turning up again and again for yourself during the hardest moment

Ready for a new week, easing back into life, rumaki reo, mahi and pakihi life.

24/02/2026

I used to respond to everything straight away. Messages, demands, feelings, decisions. My days felt loud, hectic and overwhelming, even when nothing was happening.

Lately I’ve been learning to give my mauri a moment first.
A breath.
A pause.
A chance to be, before I act.

It’s changed the way I move through my days, steadier, more intentional.

If you’re craving that kind of balance, the Mauritau course is where I teach around tuning in to your mauri. Comment hauora below if you want me to send the link.

24/02/2026

My tamahine brought out the roughest and rawest edges of me, ones I thought I had done the healing for. In many ways it's been hard to learn to parent and also work out what needs more care and aroha.

In saying that, I don't regret the way its unfolded. I hope she learns the calm, that I didn't have

23/02/2026

I underestimated recovery.

Not the surgery itself, but the after. The fog of pain meds. How heavy your tinana feels when it’s trying to repair.
How quickly your nervous system spikes when you realise you can’t operate at your usual pace, and the demands don't stop.

Then there’s everything else.

Taking time off work.
Rumaki reo still moving.
Deadlines that don’t pause.
A sick tamaiti with type 1 diabetes
Life just… life-ing.

No one really talks about that part. The quiet stress that creeps in when you’re supposed to be resting but your world is still turning.

As things shift, stress comes with it. I don’t always find asking for help easy. I’m used to holding things, managing things, figuring it out. But this week I’ve cried more than once, not from overwhelm, but from gratitude.

So many people have turned up for me.
Last-minute requests.
Notes from class.
Messages.
Reminders of how loved I am.

My village has carried me in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

Recovery has been humbling and maybe that’s the lesson around healing, it isn’t just about your tinana mending.

It’s about letting yourself be held too.

What do you need to let go of this week? Sometimes we carry things that are to heavy, thoughts, emotions, experiences. W...
23/02/2026

What do you need to let go of this week?

Sometimes we carry things that are to heavy, thoughts, emotions, experiences. When this happens for me, I like to step outside, stand on the whenua and mihi to Papatuanuku. Feel grounded, connected and let the things I dont need fade away back into the whenua to be held.

19/02/2026

“I don’t want to pass this on.”

I have said that to myself more times than I can count. Motherhood stretched me in ways nothing else ever has. I thought I had done the work. I thought I knew my triggers. But I was so wrong.

It was such wake up call the day I saw it... The sharp tone. The frustrated “grrr.” The snap decision made from overwhelm. I wasnt ready to see or hear it come back… from her.

Same sound.
Same energy.
Same reaction.

She wasn’t being difficult but was copying me. That was the wake-up call.

I can’t do this.
I have to do better.
I had to find new and better ways to be.

A way to come back to myself before I responded from emotion. A way to regulate so I could teach her how to regulate.

It doesn’t mean I never get angry or don’t snap. It means it’s not the default anymore, there is room for repair, and I show her how I am re-learning. It means the pattern doesn’t get to run the house.

That’s what Mauritau gave me.
A way to notice my mauri state.
A way to shift it.
A way to stop passing things on unconsciously.

If you’ve ever caught yourself and thought, “I don’t want to pass this on,”
Then your not alone.

The thing that helped me was mauritau. I share it as an online self paced course. Comment hauora if you want to be sent the link.

E maumahara koe! Our tinana dont get niggles, pains or tell us they are tired for no reason. If we stop to take a moment...
19/02/2026

E maumahara koe!
Our tinana dont get niggles, pains or tell us they are tired for no reason. If we stop to take a moment and listen to our tinana, it will tell us what it needs. We dont need to shame it, just meet it with care.

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