30/09/2025
Please don't tell your child that you will "kill" anyone who might hurt or touch them on safely.
I get it. If someone sexually abused or hurt your child in any way, you may feel enraged and violent. But telling a child that you will kill someone only increases the probability that they would never tell you if that happened.
People who sexually abuse children are almost always loved by you and your child, so there is a great risk for a child to tell. Children are so literal and if they think you will kill that person, you can be sure they won't tell you.
I have personally spoken with adult survivors who said they did not tell because they believed their parent would kill that person.
Instead, keep telling your child that you will do everything you can to keep them safe and you would always believe and help them if they shared any worry with you including sexual abuse.
Please consider attending my next Parenting Safe Children worked up via zoom on September 27th. Registration at parentingsafechildren.com/calendar.
And if you've already said this to your child, you can always go back have another conversation and start over.
