Andrea Graham - Therapist

10/03/2022

26/12/2021

Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, subtitles, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more.In a moving talk, journalist...

05/09/2021

Burnout is an indicator of unhealthy perimeters around your time and energy.

17/05/2021

This video was developed to give a basic introduction and overview of how trauma and chronic stress affects our nervous system and how those effects impact o...

05/05/2021

When your needs are unmet or ignored, you have to learn to recognize your needs, honor them, and safely share your feelings.

You can learn what you weren't taught or allowed to do.

15/04/2021

How yelling at my daughter motivated me to learn about the nervous system.

A few years ago, I never thought that studying the nervous system is what I would be doing today.

When I fell pregnant, about 7 years ago (already! gosh 😳 time flies), I made the commitment to be the best mum possible for my daughter.
I realised that the way we are raised impacts us for life, and I didn't want my daughter to feel as 'broken' as I was feeling back then.

So I read parenting books,
I learn about attachment,
I asked my mama friends for advice.

I KNEW how I wanted to raise my daughter.
With love, presence and nurture.

I said I'd never say 'those things' that my parents said to me.
I said I'd never do 'those things' that my parents did to me.

Yet.

I found myself saying the exact things my mum or dad used to tell me.
The things I promised I would never tell my daughter.
It sounded like it was their voice coming out of my mouth.

Yuk.

I knew I didn't want to yell at my daughter or be rough with her.

Yet.

I found myself yelling and being rough with her.

Ouch.

👉 I realised that even though I KNEW, cognitively, how I wanted to raise her.
I had reactions I could not control.

All the mamas I started working with, years ago, found the same to be true for them.
"I KNOW how I want to parent and respond.
Yet, I find myself doing or saying things I regret later..."

👉 That's how I started studying trauma healing through the nervous system.
I understood that the "stuff" we haven't healed from comes back up to the present.

👉 AND I discovered that there are LOTS of responses and behaviours that happen AUTOMATICALLY in our brain-body.

We don't choose them.
Our nervous system sets them up for us.
Like the "fight" response: being angry, yelling or being rough.
It comes up automatically when we're feeling somehow threatened.

That's why KNOWING (in our rational brain) how we want to respond is not enough to ensure that we'll respond this way!
Because our nervous system responds automatically to the environment, depending on what we've gone through in the past.

🧡 Understanding this helped realise that I'm not crazy.
🧡 That's it's not "just in my head".
🧡 That it's not that I'm not trying hard enough.

And I've learnt that we can become CONSCIOUS of these automatic responses.
-> And we can learn how to SELF-REGULATE so that we're not feeling out of control anymore.

Knowing this is deeply empowering.
And I'm committed to share this stuff with ALL the parents on this planet who are ready to hear it.

Are you ready to learn about this?
✨

With Love xx
Manon



📸 by Serena FYRE photography

12/12/2020

This poster is great for kids and their grownups! Elise Gravel is the artist behind this fabulous comic that can be printed and put up on the fridge for kiddos 6+⁠
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Posters aren't just for kids though. Posters are a great way for any adult or peer that comes to your home, to see visual proof of what you teach in your home.⁠
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And, of course, these kinds of posters are great reminders for kids, in fun ways, of what creating consent culture looks like (just one of the MANY ways).⁠
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P.S. if you don't have a printer, you can still download the poster and use it as a screensaver or wallpaper on your child's tablet device or computer.⁠
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Which posters do you have in your home?⁠
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I've shared about using posters before and will be creating a free PDF download with links for a variety of posters to download. Is that something you'd want?

Here's the link for this poster (free) http://elisegravel.com/en/blog/consentement-explique-aux-enfants/

26/09/2020

Losing your temper, frustrated with your kids, over-committed, desperate for space? Sam Cuming has a great online course for parents interested in taking responsibility and parenting with awareness.

Sam Cuming, from Here With You Parenting, has some great tips for us on how to help our families thrive by using connection-based parenting.