10/09/2017
Feeling Supported….
Some call it finding your tribe, some call it your network and some call it family, for me, it’s all of these.
I can’t imagine coming this far while still maintaining my sanity, well….relatively, without these people this last year.
How did I need to be supported? To put it briefly, without being too much of a “violinist”, I found out my mother was diagnosed with cancer for the second time, so along with all my other “woes”, this had now been added to the pile!
I tell you, when this disease creeps its NASTY little self into your world, your emotional radar goes way out of whack!
I had days where I wasn't sure how I was going to cope. I experienced many tearful nights (snot included...), filled with anguish and frustration, but mostly despair.
I even had those days where I'd show up to work and set a goal to just make it past the next hour and then the next, and the next. I'd have moments where I'd have to envision little imaginary tooth-picks propping up a smile when really, all I wanted to do was surrender to the sea of emotions I was desperately trying to process.
In spite of everything begging to crumble inside of me, I somehow managed to become a part of some amazing people’s lives. Slowly I began to encounter that priceless feeling of truly being supported. I began having days where I took note of what I really HAD, and all around me too!
I remember a moment of support when a friend, the "cheerleader" she is, you know that friend that runs around praising your efforts and voicing beautiful, thoughtful things about you, while you stand there questioning the reality she lives in, and how she must be slightly confused with the wrong person? Yeah, that friend, offered up a relaxing massage, warm tea and a blank space to hear what my heart had to say.
She would go on to say things like, “you ARE amazing”, “you DO have something special to contribute to the world” and “you’re not too old to start something new”. She made me feel strong and grateful but mostly hopeful!
Another moment of being supported was thanks to a beautiful colleague, and naturopath, who gave me literally, hundreds of minutes worth of listening space. She had a way of being kind, insightful, and wise with her words. It didn't matter that my mother lived half way across the world. She genuinely cared!
When I reflect on this, I realize that most of the time she was probably raring to go home, especially after a long day at the office, and yet, she would sit there and listen.
I am also part of the coolest, teeny, tiny team at work. They supported me when I needed to take that random day off work, to potentially say my final farewells or the time when they held the fort, while I took off for 4 weeks so that I could go and care for my Mom.
I have been supported by my husband, who for example, will listen till the bitter end of what is an emotional rant and reassures me that I will get through all of this!
Being supportive is not echoing someone’s misery but rather shining a light on them, highlighting how far they’ve come and how much further they will go! These are the words and encounters that cause anyone to feel genuinely SUPPORTED.
