Toni Pakula Holistic Health

15/08/2025

19/01/2025

Let me help you with trauma informed health and nutrition coaching. Coaching that understands the nervous system and supports you with bottom up therapy as well as positive behaviour change.

Together we can smash your goals in 2025, as I support you to reconnect with your body and mind.

19/01/2025

Goals need to be Measurable And Realistic and Timely!

Goals are only achievable if and when the nervous system is in balance and they are created with intrinsic motivation. Meaning, the goal needs to come from the person and the person needs the right support, and emotional state to be able to execute the goal.

A top down approach for selective mutism isn’t going to work without bottom up interventions. All it will lead to is a feeling of failure and deep shame. You can’t expect your body to socially engage if it’s stuck in the freeze response - and is constantly in a state of hyper/hypovigilence. Just like you can’t expect a car to move on no fuel.

For Example; You may have a goal for your car to move 50 metres forward, but if you put it in the wrong gear and forget to add fuel - you can have all the best intentions you want- but that car ain’t moving anywhere.

Toni

16/01/2025

Parent query and my reply regarding their child feeling “better” about receiving a diagnosis of Selective Mutism -

Parent “should I place pressure and targets on my child who has just received a diagnosis of selective mutism to speak?
“I feel my child has relaxed more since the diagnosis and taking away pressure- and I’m worried my child won’t make the effort to try to speak now when she needs too”.

This is my reply:

“Keep the pressure off it’s working - you want her nervous system to relax so she can socially engage. It must shift out of the Freeze stress response.

Those with selective mutism don’t know themselves why they can’t speak and that SM is an automated response due to the freeze stress response- something they can’t control and something that gives them a huge sense of loss of control!

So when they have a name for what is happening to them, and people around them begin to understand- they begin to relax and feel free. Let her live having the pressure off. Her voice will come in time. Constant pushing and questioning makes the selective mutism worse.

To truly help her you need a bottom up approach and then and only then you can add in very gradually a top down approach that she leads - like gradual exposure…

bottom up means working on the nervous system - not behaviour !
So you need to balance and restore her gut health. Research Julia Rucklidge - Mental Health & Nutrition Research: Te Puna Toiora and the daily essential nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals and also look at getting pre and probiotics.

You want to explore the safe and sound protocol which works on exercising the vagus nerve through the delivery of music. Look into primitive reflex integration as well.

Get her into an activity she enjoys that doesn’t ask her to speak - like walking each day- running- jogging- tennis- swimming anything like that
Explore mindfulness and get her a journal. Explore art and creative therapies …
And make sure school/ college- and other family members are well educated about selective mutism and support her in the right way without forcing her to speak and without judgement.

Remember - our kids are not choosing to not speak- Selective mutism is an unconscious response - like a reflex … the nervous system need to be attuned and strengthened … and the gut balanced so it can shift. When we understand SM through neuroscience and the freeze stress response and not traditional behaviourist ideology - we can start to have a breakthrough.

Acceptance is also key … accepting who we are and our individual differences … this makes a world of difference too. ❤️

Toni

14/01/2025

When you provide the right environment, we are able to grow and thrive—just like the cucumber plant in the photo I planted a few weeks ago.

I’ve always said, “Change the environment, not the child.”

You do not have to change who you are as a person, and your child doesn’t have to be different either. Acceptance, love, and support are key—and educating others about selective mutism not being a choice, about accepting differences, and providing support that allows growth and confidence to shine, is crucial.

When I got the environment right for my child with selective mutism, it only took three weeks for her to begin finding her confidence and socially engaging. Selective mutism needs a holistic approach—nurturing the nervous system, supporting our physiology through gut health, removing all chemicals and artificial cleaners from the environment, as well as providing the right space for our kids to trust, grow, and engage.

Our kids want to speak—those with selective mutism want to speak. That’s what makes it so debilitating. If you provide the right resources and space, those with selective mutism will be able to speak. Remember, not speaking is only one loud trait of selective mutism. We are all different, and we must not forget our individual differences too.

Some kids with selective mutism are introverts, some ambiverts, and many are extroverts. Communication is more than just verbal!

Teaching our kids about their nervous systems, how to regulate their emotions, and recognise the different emotional states—and how and where we feel those emotions in our bodies—is key.

Let’s empower our kids and support them accordingly.

If you would like support for selective mutism, contact me, and let’s chat about a bespoke holistic approach that works!

Toni

❤️

05/01/2025

Let’s start the new year with our bodies and minds balanced in harmony.

Are you ready to harness the healing power of the Safe and Sound Protocol and transform your life from the inside out?

The safe and sound protocol combined with health and nutrition coaching can help support your nervous system in finding balance, and resilience while easing anxiety.

No matter where you are based in the world through Telehealth I can help you!

I have helped many people with the safe and sound protocol - I have helped people with long COVID, anxiety, depression, selective mutism, ADHD, OCD, and Trauma. I love how restorative the SSP is - it’s a gentle evidence based protocol that really helps to transform people’s lives- and when coupled with mental health coaching- health and nutrition coaching, selective mutism coaching, my approach becomes a whole holistic integrated approach working on the whole person through a widened lens.

Toni

Visit my website at
www.tonipakula.com or flick me an email toni.pakula@me.com and let’s chat about how I can help you.

Download this FREE Mindfulness book- packed with exercises and quotes.

https://toni-pakula-voice.kit.com/80161b5c2e

08/12/2024

Are you a SEN parent? Do you have adequate support?

Raising my children, as many parents do, I gave all my energy and focus to parenting every day. My kids were my top priority, and when they were facing issues at school, I did everything I could to understand the challenges and to help them. It wasn’t always easy finding the right support and answers; I faced many challenges educating others, especially regarding selective mutism, which is still quite unheard of and misunderstood!

I never felt like I had time to take care of myself. It was hard connecting with other parents who were not facing the same battles. It was also difficult to gain understanding from others in my community and even within my wider family, who hadn’t come across anxiety and selective mutism before.

There were many times when I felt alone.
My husband was a great support, and I know this is not always the case, but in my situation, because he worked so much on the farm (yes, we’re farmers), fighting the school battles and managing the morning and evening anxiety often fell on me.

I would spend hours each evening searching the internet for answers and help, posting in support groups, asking questions from those with lived experience of SM, and reading academic journals and books. I don’t regret any of the research I did or the battles I fought, but I do remember feeling lonely at times and wishing I had more support and understanding from others.

It’s so important to take care of our health and well-being as parents. We can easily fall into the burnout trap, trying to juggle everything at once. It’s not easy—suppressing our emotions, wants, and needs just to get through the day. We often shelve our own needs, thinking of it as temporary—but often, those needs get neglected for years.

Through my experiences and research—understanding the nervous system, anxiety, selective mutism, trauma, and neurodiversity—I’ve come to learn the importance of co-regulation! Grounding ourselves and looking after our needs is not selfish; it’s necessary. When we are grounded, we not only think more clearly, creatively, and critically, but we can help reset our children's nervous systems too. Our kids rely on us as their co-regulators—we teach them how to self-regulate. We can only do that if we take care of our own needs and don’t neglect them.

I want to help you! I want to support YOU with health and nutrition coaching—focusing on preventive care and helping you with the Safe and Sound Protocol, which will help ground and rebalance your nervous system so you can be there for your children. I want to be that support for you—to be a VOICE for you and a listening ear. If you would love support from a parent who “gets it” someone who is not patronising but knowledgeable, with both lived experience and academic expertise, and who is a trained holistic therapist—contact me! Let me help YOU so you can help your children.

I offer the Safe and Sound Protocol for parents and children with selective mutism, alongside mental health support and education regarding gut health and the nervous system. Everything is tailored and bespoke to your specific needs. Contact me, and let’s create a plan that works for you. It’s time to get the support you need and deserve.

Toni

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Email tonipakula@me.com

08/12/2024

Learning how to ground ourselves and reset our nervous system is key to ultimate wellness and well-being. This is an awesome free exercise from Unyte -

Focus on your breath with this guided meditation, accompanied by light, calming sounds by AZA Stephen Allsop.

06/12/2024

Objective Previous evidence has established that micronutrient capsules can improve emotion regulation in children. This three-phased randomized open-label waitlist-controlled study investigated the safety of a micronutrient powder absorbed by the oral mucosa and its effects on emotion dysregulation...