Grief Room

14/12/2025

Dear people of Bondi, Sydney and all Australia. Our hearts break with you and for you. 💔❤️‍🩹🫂

14/12/2025

Hello my loves. I've been quiet. It's been sh*tty. I've been earning my grief stripes all over again. Meantime, here we are again at this tricky time of year. You always think you can train for it - like a marathon 😬. You know. Week One: smile, grit, think 'nope not this year'. Strong start! Week two: practice replying ' just a quiet one this year' ( cheery smile). Keep your pace slow. Week Three. The real test: the live action noping of invitations. If you've been following the programme, you'll thank, smile and nope without explanation. (No crying, explaining that a MERRY event/dinner/drinks will suck every bit of limited capacity you have and you'll have to go back to bed until February). But loves, if that does slip out, it's ok. Your training is not wasted. Perhaps it's just a sign of rest and stretch week ...towards a quiet glass (3 is quite normal) on your own, with netflix or a book.
More Christmas training tips to come. Xx

22/09/2025

19/09/2025

I stole this from a dementia site because I think most caregiving is the same. Show this to any friends who say any of the following:
- Are you looking after yourself? (What have you done for you today)
- We don't see you any more! (at lunch, tennis, pilates)
- It's such a shame you quit your job! You love your work!
- Are you painting (potting, sculpting?

🙄🤐😣🤣

15/09/2025

I've posted this on my story today but I feel a ni**le. It says this is 'our' work, letting us be seen and known for who we are. I feel it's also 'our work' to create places where others can be safely seen and known for who THEY are. Create accepting spaces. Help others be heard and known. Right Carl?

12/09/2025

This feels validating for we grief therapists. But is there anything we're missing/could do better?

💛What do most bereaved people want from another person?
- A witness to their pain and grief
- Escape from people who inflict cheeriness
- Support, time, space
- An outsider to accompany then through grief
- Validation of their feelings
- Reflection on their coping and solutions

Thanks to Chris Hall from Grief Australia for sharing this at the Oceanic Palliative Care Conference today – insightful, practical, and kind.

It’s a timely reminder, especially with R U OK? Day – many people want to check in on someone who’s grieving but aren’t always sure how. This might help bridge that gap.

Palliative Care Australia R U OK?

05/09/2025

Nervously waiting for my last Dying Matters Event 'How to help the grieving'. This popped up from the wonderful 'What's Your Grief'. It's perfect.

05/09/2025

The last of Dying Matters week 2025. If you've holding on to a question, bring it to us this weekend x

03/09/2025

03/09/2025

Dying Matters week continues. My goodness, the conversations have been rich!

02/09/2025

For anyone in Hawkes Bay. Tomorrow morning, Michael Nestmann will speak about assisted dying. This will not be a politician's view. Michael is a manager with the Assisted Dying Service. 10.30 at Kowhai Villa. 212 Queen St E, Hastings. Bring your open, curious minds x

01/09/2025

There's a bit of chat around at the moment about grieving also being an opportunity to learn. I'm resistant to any implicit 'shoulding' or relentless positivity in that statement. But I do think there's something to be said for really claiming the time and space of grieving as your own. So what we MAY learn is: to assess our capacity for life on any given day or hour and decide what we WANT to spend our teaspoons of energy on. To remind ourselves that we don't owe everyone our full story - just because they ask. That putting a 'no visitors today' sign on your door does not make you a terrible human. In short, if you haven't been great at boundaries before...they may save your sanity and your health now x