https://thesafekidsproject.com/

The Safe Kids Project, 1 Alpers Terrace, Napier (2025)

15/12/2025

Christmas gatherings can be beautiful…
and they can also feel like a quiet internal battle.

You walk into a room full of people you love and suddenly your body tightens.

Someone leans in for a hug your child doesn’t want.
A comment is made.

A “they’ll be fine” is said.
You know what you want to do.
But in the moment, your words disappear.
Your heart races.

And later, you replay it all in your head wishing you’d said something different.

This isn’t because you don’t care enough.

It’s because these moments are loaded with history, expectations, and old patterns that tell us keeping the peace is safer.

That’s why tools matter.
That’s why scripts matter.

When you already have the words, your nervous system doesn’t have to scramble.

You can stay calm.
You can stay grounded.

You can show up for your child in real time, even when it feels uncomfortable.

If you want support with this, comment ✨ LEARN ✨ and I’ll send you the link to my FREE online workshop.
Inside, I’ll teach you how to advocate for your child in the moment, without freezing, over-explaining, or feeling “difficult.”

Because your child’s boundaries deserve protection.
And you deserve to feel confident doing it.

12/12/2025

Every year, we do Christmas a little differently in our family. 🎄

We follow Want, Need, Wear, Read, one gift for each category. It keeps things simple, intentional, and meaningful.

It also helps me slow down and be mindful, instead of getting swept up in the pressure to buy more.

I’m also aware of my privilege in being able to buy these things, and I want my kids to grow up understanding that not everyone has this choice.

To keep costs down, I often buy gifts on sale throughout the year, so we can still give thoughtfully without overspending.

That’s why we focus on giving, sharing, and making Christmas about connection and joy rather than just presents.

If you’re feeling the Christmas push to buy, I hope this can be a little reminder that less can be more, and that the heart of the season is about presence, generosity, and love.

Lunch Box and Connetix from
(Not an ad, just love their store)

12/12/2025

There’s a moment every mother knows too well.
The room is warm, everyone is smiling, gifts are being handed out…
and then suddenly, the air shifts.
Someone leans in for a hug your child clearly doesn’t want.

Your stomach tightens.
You want to step in, but you hesitate for half a second.
And that half-second feels like a lifetime.

I used to think this tension was just part of parenting.
That awkward pause.

That inner conflict between keeping the peace and protecting your child.

But here’s what I’ve learned and maybe you’ve felt this too:

Children shouldn’t be expected to offer physical affection as a “thank you.”

When we teach them that kindness must be repaid with touch, we teach them to override their instincts.
We teach them that other people’s comfort matters more than their own.

And that belief follows them into teenhood.
Into relationships.

Into the moments where “No, I don’t want to” could protect them but only if they’ve learned that their “no” counts.

The truth is, children can show appreciation without giving away their body.

They can use words.
A wave.
A smile.
A simple “thank you” said in a way that feels safe for them.

And you can guide that with confidence, without guilt, awkwardness, or feeling like “the difficult one” in the room.

You’re not overreacting.
You’re building a child who trusts their instincts.
A child who knows:
“My no matters.”

I’m running a FREE workshop to show you exactly how to put this boundary in place over the holiday season, calmly, clearly, and without the guilt spiral afterward.
Comment “LEARN” and I’ll send you the details.

10/12/2025

Your child is little, and every day you’re showing them, through the smallest moments, what respect feels like.
You ask before you pick them up.

You check in before you wipe their face.

You let them choose how they greet others instead of forcing hugs or kisses.

It might seem simple now, but these daily interactions are shaping the template they’ll carry into their teenage years and all the way into adulthood.

Because when you consistently treat your child’s body and boundaries with respect, they learn what’s normal.
They learn what safety feels like.

And they learn, deep in their bones, that they never have to accept anything less from anyone.

So when someone oversteps in the future, they know immediately.

Not because you told them once,
but because you showed them every day.

If you want support with knowing what to say (and when to say it) to advocate for your child’s boundaries, especially heading into the holiday season, comment
✨ LEARN ✨and I’ll send you the link to my free workshop How to Advocate for Your Child’s Boundaries.

My Christmas gift to you. Thank you for being here, learning, growing, and showing your child what respect truly looks like.

10/12/2025

As a psychologist and mum, I have three non-negotiable rules I teach my kids before every Christmas gathering.
I’ll be honest, holiday gatherings can be a minefield for little ones.

The hugs, the kisses, the endless questions… it’s a lot for kids to navigate. And as a parent, it can feel impossible to protect their autonomy without stepping on toes.

I remember one Christmas, a relative leaned in for a hug my child didn’t want to give. I saw the hesitation in their eyes, the awkward shuffle, the tiny “no” they couldn’t quite voice. And I felt it too: the tension between keeping the peace and standing up for my child’s boundaries.

That moment stuck with me.

Now, I go in with a plan. Every Christmas, before we even leave home, I sit my kids down and share three simple rules:

1️⃣ Your body, your choice. You don’t have to hug or kiss anyone. A smile or wave is just as good.

2️⃣ Stay in open spaces. Don’t play alone in a room with the door closed.

3️⃣ Always tell me. If something feels uncomfortable, come find me, no judgment, no questions.

These rules do more than keep them safe, they give my kids confidence, control, and a sense of calm during the chaos. And honestly? They’ve made family gatherings so much smoother for all of us.

This holiday season, you don’t have to tiptoe around your child’s boundaries or hope for the best. You can give them the gift of safety and empowerment and still enjoy the celebrations.

I’m running a free workshop to show you exactly how to put this boundary in place over the holiday season , calmly, clearly, and without the guilt spiral afterward.

Comment “LEARN” and I’ll send you the details.

Let’s make this Christmas joyful and safe.

09/12/2025

The perfect Christmas gift 🎁

My daughter’s doll has a v***a and here’s why yours should too.

Her doll is from , a company that creates high-quality dolls that are inclusive and celebrate diversity.

Most dolls in stores don’t show private parts, sending the message that these parts are shameful or ‘not normal.’

But I wanted my daughter’s doll to reflect her body exactly as it is, natural, normal, and nothing to hide.

Teaching children the correct names for their body parts, and showing them it’s okay to talk about them, isn’t just about body positivity, it’s about safety. Kids who know their bodies are more likely to speak up if something feels wrong and carry less shame.

I want my children to grow up confident in every part of themselves and that starts with small choices, like the dolls they play with.

08/12/2025

Extra commitments, social events, school activities, work deadlines… it’s easy to feel like everything is on your shoulders. I’ve been there, running around, trying to keep the kids happy, the house in order, and somehow still find time for work and myself.

One thing that’s changed the game for us? Planning together. Every Sunday, my husband and I sit down to map out the week, work schedules, kids’ activities, meals, household tasks, and even a little self-care. It’s our way of sharing the mental load instead of letting it fall on one person.

It doesn’t make life perfect, but it makes it manageable and keeps us connected instead of stressed.

If you’re feeling stretched this season, maybe try sitting down together and planning the week ahead. Sometimes the smallest routines can make the biggest difference.

05/12/2025

This Christmas, I want to take a moment to say thank you.

Thank you for loving my child so deeply. Thank you for the hugs, the laughter, the stories, the traditions you pass down. Your presence means the world.

I also want to share something important to me, something I hope we can do together. I’m teaching my child that their body belongs to them. That it’s okay to say “no,” even to someone they love, and that their feelings always matter.

I know this might feel different from how you grew up, and that’s okay. This isn’t about changing you, it’s about helping us all support a child who feels safe, respected, and loved.

When we all honor this together, it doesn’t take away from the love you share. It makes it stronger. Safer. Kinder. And it’s a gift my child will carry for a lifetime.

Thank you for being part of their world, for your love, your patience, and your understanding. It means more than words can say.

04/12/2025

Every Christmas, I watch the same moment unfold.

A well-meaning relative leans in for a hug…
A child pulls back…

And suddenly all eyes shift to the parent.
“Go on, don’t be rude.”
“It’s just a hug.”
“You’ll hurt their feelings.”

And I see it, the look so many parents know too well.
That mix of pressure, embarrassment, and the quiet voice inside whispering, “This doesn’t feel right… but I don’t want to make a scene.”

I’ve been there too.

Standing in a room full of people I love, wondering how to honour my child’s boundaries without becoming “that parent.”

So this year, I’m choosing differently.
Not perfectly.
Not aggressively.
Just with intention.

I will NOT force children to hug, kiss, or show affection to anyone.

Because real connection can’t be coerced.

I will NOT overlook a child’s “no,” “stop,” or “I don’t like that.”

Because those tiny words are the building blocks of lifelong safety.

I will NOT let adults guilt-trip children into physical contact.

Because my child should never feel responsible for someone else’s feelings.

If you’ve ever felt that same knot in your stomach…

If you’ve ever smiled politely while your instincts screamed…

If you’ve ever wished you were braver in the moment…
You’re not alone.

And you’re not overreacting.

You’re parenting with heart, awareness, and courage , even when it feels uncomfortable.

This Christmas, may we give our children the gift of body autonomy…

And give ourselves permission to stand gently, clearly, and confidently beside them.

You’re doing beautifully.

28/11/2025

Your child says no.

They don’t want a hug, a kiss, or to sit on someone’s lap.
And suddenly, an adult looks hurt.

Their feelings are wounded.

You feel the pressure to make it “better,” to smooth things over.

Here’s the truth:
Your child is never responsible for protecting adult feelings.

Their discomfort is valid.

Their “no” is their boundary.

Any sadness, disappointment, or guilt is on the adult — not your child.

If you’ve felt this tension before, that knot in your stomach when your child’s boundary meets someone else’s expectation, keep your eyes peeled.

I have something special coming over the next few days to help you navigate these moments with confidence and clarity, so your child’s boundaries are always respected. 🎄

The Safe Kids Project

15/12/2025

12/12/2025

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10/12/2025

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28/11/2025

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