https://thesafekidsproject.com/

The Safe Kids Project, Napier (2026)

07/02/2026

I used to think if I just gave mothers the right words, everything would change.

The script.
The phrase.

The calm, respectful sentence that should work.
But what I kept hearing, again and again, was this:

“I know what to say… but I freeze.”
“My body locks up.”
“I say it, but it doesn’t come out the way I planned.”
“I still feel guilty afterwards.”

And that’s when it clicked.
This was never a language problem.
It was a safety one.

So many of us learned early that being liked was safer than being clear.

That keeping the peace mattered more than being honest.

That upsetting adults came at a cost.

So when your child’s boundary is crossed now,
your body remembers.
The pause.
The tight chest.
The hesitation.

That’s why I created Below the Boundary.
Not to give you more tools, but to change the foundation they’re delivered from.

Because when you feel regulated…
when you trust yourself…
when you no longer need permission to protect your child…

Boundaries stop feeling hard.
Your voice steadies.

And your child learns, in real time:
“My no matters.”

If this landed for you, not just in your head, but in your body, DM me and I’ll send you the details for Below the Boundary.

You don’t need to try harder.
You need a new foundation.

06/02/2026

You rehearse the words on the drive over. You’ve practiced them in the mirror, in your head, even in your car.

But then you’re there. Your chest tightens. Your jaw clenches. You feel the familiar knot of tension in your stomach. Someone rolls their eyes, or sighs. And suddenly… the boundary slips. You soften. You explain. You let it go.

You tell yourself it’s not worth the drama. You hope your child won’t notice. You swallow the discomfort so the room doesn’t get awkward.

It’s not just you. Setting boundaries with family often feels heavier, messier, and more exhausting than with strangers and there’s a very human reason for it.
We are wired to belong. Our need for connection, acceptance, and approval is strongest with those closest to us. Family isn’t “just people we know”, they are our original safety system. Saying no to a stranger might feel uncomfortable, but you can walk away if needed. Saying no to a family member triggers a deep nervous system alarm: fear of rejection, tension, even guilt.

Your brain is weighing two safety needs at once:
Protecting yourself and your child’s boundaries.
Staying emotionally connected to your family.

Because belonging matters so much, your nervous system often prioritizes connection over the boundary, making it feel impossible to stand your ground.

Here’s the truth: your child sees everything. They notice when you choose comfort over boundaries. They feel it in your hesitation, your silence, your over-explaining. And they’re learning from it, about their own bodies, their own voice, and how safe it is to assert themselves.

This isn’t failure. It’s biology. Your nervous system is doing its job, trying to keep you connected, safe, and belonging. The work is learning how to stay present in your body long enough to advocate, even when family triggers the discomfort alarm.

Comment ✨ BELOW ✨ if you want to learn more about Below the Boundary, a programme for mothers who already know the words but want support regulating their nervous system so they can actually say them.

04/02/2026

I don’t regulate my nervous system to stay calm.

I regulate it so I can speak up when my body wants to shut down.

Because advocating for my children doesn’t usually happen in neat, confident moments.

It happens when my chest tightens.
When I feel the urge to smooth things over.
When silence feels easier than holding a boundary that might make someone else uncomfortable.

For a long time, I knew the right words. I could explain boundaries beautifully… later.
In the car.
In my head.
In a message I rewrote three times that night.

What I was missing wasn’t information. It was capacity.

Nervous system regulation isn’t about calming yourself down so everyone feels comfortable.
It’s about staying present inside your body long enough to act in alignment, even when your voice shakes, even when the room goes quiet, even when someone else doesn’t like it.

That’s the work beneath the boundary.

And it’s what actually allows our children to see us model what we ask of them.

Comment the word ✨ BELOW✨ below if you want to learn more about Below the Boundary, a programme for the mother who already knows the right words,
and wants support to regulate her nervous system so she can actually say them.

02/02/2026

You’re not failing your child.

You’re responding exactly how your nervous system was trained to respond.

If you freeze when an adult ignores your child’s “no,”
if you smile to keep the peace while your chest is tight,
if you replay the moment later and wish you’d said something sooner…

This isn’t about confidence.
It’s about conditioning.

Many mothers were taught, explicitly or quietly, that keeping adults comfortable was safer than speaking up. That pattern doesn’t disappear when you become a parent. It shows up under pressure.

And here’s the part no one says out loud:
Your child is learning about boundaries by watching you navigate discomfort.

Not in the big conversations
but in the small, awkward, everyday moments.
You don’t need to be louder.
You don’t need to be confrontational.
You need support to retrain your nervous system and the words to use when it matters.

Below the Boundary is a 4-week programme for mothers who are done people-pleasing at the cost of their child’s autonomy.

It’s where you learn to:
– stay regulated when adults push back
– interrupt boundary crossings without guilt
– speak clearly without over-explaining
– model “my no matters” in real time

If you’re ready to stop freezing and start protecting your child with calm, grounded authority, Comment the word ✨ BELOW ✨ and I’ll send you the details.

Your child’s “no” deserves an adult who can stand behind it.

29/01/2026

This is a 4-week programme for mothers who already understand body autonomy, consent, and boundaries,
but still freeze, hesitate, soften, or feel guilty when they need to advocate for their child in real life.

If you:
• know the scripts but don’t always access them under pressure

• feel your body tense when you challenge an adult

• worry your hesitation is teaching your child to override their instincts

• are tired of managing other people’s discomfort at the expense of your child

• want boundaries to feel calm, clear, and embodied, not rehearsed

This programme was built for you.

Inside Below the Boundary, we don’t just talk about what to say.

We work on:
• nervous system regulation so your body stays present
• breaking patterns learned in childhood that make speaking up feel unsafe
• shifting identity,from people-pleasing to grounded leadership
• building self-trust so your voice holds without over-explaining

Over 4 weeks, you’ll move from:
hesitation → clarity
guilt → grounded confidence
knowing → embodying

So when a boundary is crossed, you don’t scramble for words.

You respond calmly.

Your child feels protected.

And you leave the moment knowing: I showed up the way I wanted to.

This is not about being louder.
It’s about feeling safer in yourself.

If you feel call to join Below the Boundary, DM me and I’ll send you all the details.

If this has been sitting in your body for a while,
this is your invitation to do the deeper work.

28/01/2026

This was a confronting realisation for me.

I was giving mothers good advice.
Evidence-based. Practical. Clear.

And yet… something wasn’t sticking.
I kept hearing versions of the same thing:

“I know what to do, but I can’t seem to do it when it matters.”

That’s when I had to be honest with myself.
I was working too much above the iceberg.
I was addressing behaviour, without fully supporting what lives underneath it.

Because you can teach the words.
You can understand body autonomy deeply.

But if your nervous system still associates boundaries with danger…

if your identity was shaped around being agreeable…

if keeping the peace once kept you safe…

Your body will override your intention every time.
And that’s not a failure.

It’s information.
Listening to you changed my work.

It showed me that mothers don’t need more tools to carry.

They need a different internal experience.
More regulation.
More self-trust.
A felt sense of safety in choosing their child and themselves.

That’s why my work now lives below the boundary.
At the level where patterns are interrupted and new ones can form.

If this resonates, and you feel like something deeper is being named here, DM me and I’ll send you the details for Below the Boundary.

Because real change doesn’t come from saying the right thing.

It comes from becoming someone who feels safe enough to say it.

21/01/2026

Setting boundaries for your child can feel surprisingly lonely, especially when the people questioning you are the ones you love.

I remember a time when a well-meaning family member asked why I let my children choose how they greet others. They weren’t unkind, just curious. But I walked away realising something important: I’d been relying on my professional knowledge to justify my choices, without ever really anchoring into my why.

So I paused and reflected. Why does this matter so much to me? What am I actually trying to teach my children?

Once I clarified my why, everything shifted. I stopped over-explaining. I stopped trying to keep other adults comfortable. I felt calm, grounded, and confident advocating for my children, because I knew exactly why I was doing it.

If you’re tired of feeling judged, second-guessing yourself, or freezing when family comments roll in, clarity is the missing piece.

Comment the word ✨ LEARN ✨ and I’ll send you the details for my free boundary workshop, where I help you find your why and advocate with calm confidence.

20/01/2026

Here are my boundaries, they make some people uncomfortable.

And for a long time, that used to stop me from setting them.

I could feel it in my body when something wasn’t right. A tight chest. A knot in my stomach. That quiet voice saying this doesn’t feel okay.

But I ignored it. I stayed polite. I explained myself. I didn’t want to upset anyone.

What I didn’t realise then was that every time I chose other people’s comfort over my gut, I paid for it later, with exhaustion, resentment, and a constant sense of being on edge. And eventually, it wasn’t just affecting me. It was affecting how I showed up as a parent.

Setting boundaries didn’t suddenly make me confident or fearless. It was awkward. Uncomfortable. Sometimes messy.

But it brought something I didn’t have before: safety, clarity, and calm in my work, in my home, and in my body.

Now, when I hold a boundary, I remind myself of this:
I’m not being difficult. I’m being intentional.

I’m teaching my children that their bodies, feelings, and limits matter and that starts with me honouring my own.

If you know a boundary is needed but feel stuck in people-pleasing, second-guessing yourself, or worrying about how others will react, you’re not broken. You were taught to be liked, not to feel safe. And that can be unlearned.

Comment ✨ LEARN ✨ and I’ll send you the details to my free workshop.

In this workshop, you’ll learn how to trust your gut, hold boundaries without guilt or over-explaining, and confidently protect your child’s body autonomy, so you can feel calm, grounded, and proactive instead of anxious and reactive in everyday moments.

You don’t need to push harder.
You just need the right support.

19/01/2026

Someone once asked me, “Do you think I’m trying to hurt your child?”

I paused, because the question almost made me question myself. But the truth is: I wasn’t implying that at all. I was advocating for my child’s body and their feelings.

Boundaries can get messy like that. They can make adults uncomfortable, and sometimes that discomfort gets misread as accusation. But here’s the truth: it has nothing to do with the adult.

It’s about what your child is feeling and expressing. It’s about noticing when their body says no and giving that no the respect it deserves.

When we set boundaries for our children, we are not judging, punishing, or assuming ill intent. We are simply saying: “Your feelings matter. Your body matters.”

And yes, it can feel awkward. Adults may bristle. You may worry you’re being too strict or too sensitive. But the discomfort you feel? That’s not a problem, it’s a sign you’re interrupting a pattern that tells children their needs come second.

Comment ✨ LEARN✨ to get access to my free boundary workshop and learn exactly what to say when boundaries are challenged.

If you want, I can also polish it further for Instagram readability, breaking it into shorter paragraphs with line breaks and emojis to make it scroll-stopping. Do you want me to do that?

15/01/2026

You’re the mum who knows body autonomy matters.

But when it’s your mother-in-law, your aunt, or a family friend standing in front of you,
your child says no,
your chest tightens,
and the words disappear.

Later, you replay it.
“I should have stepped in.”
“Why is this still so hard?”

Here’s the truth no one tells you:
This isn’t about confidence.
It’s about conditioning.

Most of us learned early that keeping the peace kept us safe.

Those patterns didn’t vanish when we became parents,
they show up in the exact moments our children need us most.

And yet… this can change.

Imagine stepping in calmly.
Not freezing.
Not over-explaining.
Not feeling like the “difficult” mum.

Just clear, grounded advocacy that teaches your child:
“My no matters. My body matters.”

I’m running my FREE live workshop again for mothers who want to advocate for their child in real time, without panic, guilt, or people-pleasing.

🗓 27th January
⏰ 7:30pm NZDT

Comment ✨ LEARN ✨ and I’ll send you the details

The Safe Kids Project

07/02/2026

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04/02/2026

02/02/2026

29/01/2026

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