http://www.robertjcotton.co.nz/

Robert J. Cotton Funeral Directors, 697 Main Street, Palmerston North (2025)

04/11/2025

3 0 Y E A R S S E R V I C E A W A R D

This week, we’re incredibly proud to celebrate Hayden Cotton’s 30 Years of Service Award, presented by the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand (FDANZ).

From a young age, Hayden knew he wanted to be a funeral director, just like his dad and grandad. While classmates laughed, Hayden stayed true to that calling. In 1995, he began working alongside his father in Palmerston North, often heading to the funeral home straight after finishing his courier job. Thirty years on, he represents the fourth generation of the Cotton family to serve this community, with roots tracing back to William Cotton in Feilding.

Among his team, Hayden is known as “Maximiser” a reflection of his talent for refining processes and striving for excellence. His top strength, consistency, means he treats everyone with the same fairness and respect, while his harmony allows him to stay calm under pressure, showing patience and kindness when families need it most.

For Hayden, his “why” is simple: to make things easier for families. His greatest pride comes from feedback that a loved one looked better than they had in their final days, a sign of the care and dignity he pours into his work.

Together with his wife, Kylie and their outstanding team, he is proud to continue the Robert J. Cotton legacy in Palmerston North, blending tradition with modern approaches to ensure families receive the very best in funeral care.

We’re so proud of this achievement and grateful for the dedication Hayden brings to our team every single day.

29/10/2025

P R O B U S C L U B T A L K

On Thursday, Hayden and Kylie were invited to speak at the Terrace End Probus Club, held at the Palmerston North Community Leisure Centre on Ferguson Street. Around 70 guests joined us for an open and engaging conversation about the funeral process and how our team is helping shape positive change in the industry.

What we love most about these occasions is hearing the questions people ask — we find it fascinating to know what people are thinking and what they want to understand more about, so we can guide and support them as best we can.

There was a lot of interest in natural burial options, and it was great to see that most attendees already had a will in place. It’s encouraging to know people are thinking about the future and the choices that feel right for them.

Opportunities like this also help put faces to the names in our business, building the trust and connection that mean so much to the families we’ve served for three generations.

And of course, no event is complete without Lola the Funeral Therapy Dog, who enjoyed mingling with guests and helping the ladies in the kitchen clean up a few crumbs! 🐾

We really value being part of a community that isn’t afraid to talk about the important stuff.

If your group or organisation would like us to host a similar session, we’d love to hear from you.

10/09/2025

M A N A W A T U B U S I N E S S C H A M B E R

Last night, as proud members of the Manawatū Business Chamber, we had the pleasure of hosting their BA5 (Business After 5) event.

It was wonderful to welcome our local business community into our premises, including Palmerston North City Councillor Cr Rachel Bowen, who shared an update on the provision of a natural burial area at Ashhurst Cemetery – such an important step for families seeking sustainable end-of-life choices. 🌿

The evening was a relaxed opportunity to introduce our team, share our brand story and the special work our small family owned third-generation business does, and no event could be without Lola the Funeral Therapy Dog making her debut, complete with her Lexus! 🐾

Thank you to everyone who joined us – it was a privilege to open our doors, answer questions, and connect with so many of you. ❤️

Flowers: Floralcollaborative
Catering: Cafe Brie Licensed Restaurant.
Photography: Kylie Cotton
Photo credit of Lola in her Lexus: Benson & Co Security

07/09/2025

F A T H E R ' S D A Y

💙 This Father’s Day, we honour the Dads on our team. 💙

Ask any funeral director and they'll tell you, being a funeral director isn’t just a job; it’s a way of life that asks the whole family to make sacrifices.

It’s the weekends or nights when the answer to, “Where’s Dad?” is, “He’s at work.” It’s the school holidays and weekends that we must stay close to home because Dad’s on call. It’s teaching your kids, from a young age, that when the phone goes everyone needs to be quiet, because when a family needs help, Dad has to be there. It’s the Christmases where there’s just enough time to open presents or share a meal before heading back out the door, because Dad’s working.

I remember when our eldest daughter, Madison, was only a couple of months old. I had to go into hospital, and Hayden had funerals that day. There I was, going under anaesthetic with baby Maddy asleep in her pram beside me. Luckily she slept! That’s the part most people don’t see: how much the families of funeral directors quietly give up so others can be looked after. I'm sure there'll be many other funeral directors reading this post, and you too will have your own stories.

So today, on Father’s Day, we simply want to say thank you. Thank you to the dads on our team who give so much of themselves. And thank you to the families who share them with us, who give up precious moments so others don’t have to face loss on their own.

Because of you, we can make the biggest difference for families when they need it most.

Happy Father’s Day. 💙

22/08/2025

I N L O V I N G M E M O R Y

In loving memory of David Edward Moreland, 26 June 1955 - 15 July 2025.

This has to be one of the most special farewells I’ve had the privilege of capturing. As I touched on in my previous post, it’s the act of people coming together to create space for grief that matters most. A farewell doesn’t need to be big or elaborate; it’s simply about doing something.

This customer journey began with a call from the daughter. She hadn’t planned a funeral before and was searching online for guidance. What drew her to us was seeing that we had Lola, our Funeral Therapy Dog. That was enough for her to know we were the right fit, and when I answered the phone, the next sign for her was the fact that we both shared the same name – Kylie.

When considering what service felt right, the family chose a car park committal, with plans for a more formal memorial service later in Nelson. For those unfamiliar with a car park committal, this is when family and friends gather at the back of the funeral vehicle to share tributes, memories, and goodbyes. Sometimes it follows a formal funeral service, sometimes it takes the place of one, or, as in David’s case, it was something the family could do to provide closure for now until the memorial service could be held in Nelson. While simple, it gives families something tangible - a chance to gather, to speak, and to remember together. Grief needs somewhere to go, and the act of “doing something,” big or small, makes all the difference.

From the very beginning, it was clear that Lola needed to be part of her dad’s farewell. David loved dogs, and having her there would have meant the world to him. On the day, Lola curled up on the daughter’s lap for the ride in the funeral vehicle, as close family and friends followed from our premises to the Kelvin Grove Cemetery.

At the cemetery, it was a low-key but heartfelt gathering - a lovely occasion where family and friends stood together, sharing stories and saying what they needed to for now, until the upcoming service in Nelson. Lola, as always, brought quiet comfort. At one point, she was scooped up into the arms of a guest, and for a moment, we weren’t sure we’d get her back!

Thank you, Kylie and family, for allowing me the opportunity to capture some of these moments. You were such a lovely family to support, and it was an honour for our team to support you. 🌿

Funeral Director: Hayden Cotton
Funeral Photography: Kylie Cotton

19/08/2025

T H E I M P O R T A N C E O F A F U N E R A L

We often hear families say, "Mum didn’t want a funeral." It is usually said out of love, not wanting to cause a fuss or be a burden. But when there is no funeral, it can leave families and friends with nowhere for their grief to go.

A few months ago, a husband lost his wife suddenly. Along with the shock of her passing, he carried the weight of her wishes as he told one of our funeral directors, ‘She didn’t want a funeral.’ That was heartbreaking in that moment, because our funeral director could see what it meant. No chance to say goodbye, no gathering with loved ones, no space for grief to be shared.

That is the difficult part. Families want to respect wishes, yet those left behind, family, friends, colleagues and neighbours, still need something to help them through.

Funerals do not have to be large or formal. Sometimes, even something as simple as following to the cemetery or gathering afterwards for a cup of tea is enough. Just because people might not have kept in touch often does not mean they did not care. Life is busy, and a funeral gives us the chance to pause, reconnect and support one another. We see the beauty in familiar faces coming together, sharing memories and offering comfort.

And just as important, funerals play a cathartic role. They give us permission to grieve. The act of doing, of coming together, of speaking and listening, helps release what sits heavy inside. It is how we begin to process loss and take those first steps forward.

Grief has many layers. That is why we believe in funerals, because they give us all a way to honour, remember, and begin the healing process.

We would love to hear your perspective. Was there a funeral you attended that helped you in ways you didn’t expect? Or have you ever known a situation where there was no funeral, and how did that feel for those left behind?

12/08/2025

V O T E F O R L O L A !

🐾 Big news! Lola has been entered in the competition for NZ Top Dog with a Job!

As our much-loved funeral therapy dog, she brings calm, comfort, and the occasional cuddle when it’s needed most.

Vote here:

https://www.frogrecruitment.co.nz/nztopdogpeoplechoice/vote-lola-miniatureschnauzer-palmerstonnorth

Your vote could help Lola be crowned NZ’s Top Dog with a Job!
Let’s show New Zealand just how special she is. 💙🐶

07/08/2025

F U N E R A L F A S H I O N

A daughter’s tribute ❤️

When Lesley arrived, I was instantly drawn to her elegant red coat and matching hat. Her whole family had made the effort to wear red, her mum’s favourite colour, and it was clear that every detail had been chosen with care.

I had a feeling there was a Funeral Fashion story here. Intrigued, I spoke with Lesley, the eldest daughter, and soon the deeper meaning behind her outfit began to unfold.

She gently pointed out her jewellery, a beautiful brooch and a pair of delicate pearl earrings. The earrings, she explained, had very nearly been given away.

While sorting through their mum’s jewellery, Lesley and her siblings had set them aside. One pearl was missing, and they didn’t seem especially significant, so into the op shop pile they went.

But later that day, something remarkable happened.

They came across a photo of their mum, proudly holding Lesley as a baby, wearing the very set of earrings!

Lesley quietly retrieved them from the donation box. And on the day of her mother’s funeral, she wore them. A small detail, full of meaning.

It’s a beautiful reminder that even the simplest things, a pair of earrings, a colour, a photograph, can carry deep love and memory, and become a lasting mark of honour and connection. ❤️

03/08/2025

I N L O V I N G M E M O R Y

In loving memory of John Wilfred Bruce Wackrow - “Bruce”, 7 March 1942 – 2 November 2024.

A loving husband, dad, father-in-law, grandfather and friend. Bruce's funeral service was filled with beautiful touches that reflected the life he lived and the people he loved.

He gave generously to his family and to the wider community. As a long-standing member of the Milson Rotary Club, Bruce showed up, lent a hand, and contributed quietly and consistently over many decades.

One of the most moving parts of the day was seeing his grandchildren take part handing out service sheets, walking alongside him in the procession, and placing personal items on his casket. Moments like these make you pause and reflect. Children often understand more than we realise and they found their own gentle way to say goodbye.

Among the items placed on Bruce’s casket were:

• A Tweety Bird soft toy, a nod to the T-Shirt he bought on a trip to the US in the 1980's, and wore every Christmas.

• A model Porsche, acknowledging his love of motorsport and classic cars including the silver Porsche he once proudly owned.

• A set of personalised Allflex ear tags, tied with ribbon to the casket handles, a touching tribute to Bruce’s 30-year career with Allflex, where he was their very first employee in 1957. That connection lives on today through his daughter, who now works there too.

Bruce will be remembered for his quiet strength, generosity, and the steady way he supported those around him. 💛

Funeral Director: Hayden Cotton
Funeral Photography: Kylie Cotton

01/08/2025

P E T S A T F U N E R A L S

Today is the 1st of August, and this photo of Phoebe is one of my absolute favourites from our Lola the Funeral Therapy Dog 2025 calendar.

“Today was hard, and tomorrow might be too, and the day after that, and the day after that.”

There’s something so tender about it. The way she sits, her head gently lowered, wearing her late owner's tie. It speaks of love, loss and loyalty in a way words sometimes can’t.

I’ve always believed animals know. They feel the silence. They sense when someone, or something, is missing. And that’s why, when families ask about including their dog in a funeral, our answer is always yes.

Because it’s not just for us. It’s for them too.

Letting a dog be there gives them the chance to understand, to say goodbye in their own quiet way. It softens the confusion. And in return, they offer the kind of comfort only animals can — calm, loyal and steady.

Grief doesn’t just belong to people.
And love? Pets have always known how to show that best.

Phoebe, thank you for helping us tell that story this month ❤️

30/07/2025

C O M M U N I T Y

Have you got any spare wool? 🧶

We’re proud to support SuperGrans Manawatu a local organisation doing incredible work, from running life skills workshops to knitting beanies for babies in need. Their volunteers generously share practical knowledge like cooking, budgeting, sewing, and craft, helping others gain confidence and independence.

If you’ve got leftover wool at home, we’d love to pass it on. Even the smallest donation can make a big difference.

Please drop off to our office at 697 Main Street, Terrace End, Monday to Friday between 8 AM and 4:30 PM, and we’ll make sure it gets to the SuperGrans team.

From Cotton to wool, every thread of support counts. ❤️

26/07/2025

I N L O V I N G M E M O R Y

In loving memory of Yvonne Patricia Furlong, 22 June 1970 - 14 July 2025.

Yvonne was a woman of style and grace, with a warmth that drew people to her and a love for her family that ran deep.

A wonderful mum, a much-loved nana, and a treasured friend, she was the heart of her circle.

Although cancer took Yvonne far too soon, her farewell was a true celebration of life, made special by the love and thought her family and friends poured into every detail.

It was a privilege to care for Yvonne and support her family in honouring such a vibrant and cherished life.

Funeral Director: Hayden Cotton
Funeral Celebrant: Todd O'Donnell
Funeral Venue: Cottons Chapel
Funeral Vehicle: 2007 Cadillac
Funeral Flowers: Floralcollaborative
Funeral Photography: Kylie Cotton

Robert J. Cotton Funeral Directors

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