30/11/2025
My nephew Dan achieved something incredible yesterday and I am so proud of him.
Here is an account of what happened, as told by his older brother:
About a month ago my brother told me he had invented a Mo-Monster Movember challenge for himself.
In the name of men's health he "planned" to carry out the following:
10km swim
220km cycle
50km run.
For context an iron man is:
3.8km swim
180km cycle
42km run
My reaction (and that or everyone else) was - classic Dan.
Or... What an idiot.
Yesterday I woke up at 330am to 'support' him through the swim. We arrived at lake taupo. It was choppier than a teppanyaki restaurant and colder than a witches tit.
Then he started walking toward the water, the first of many times that day he would lead those supporting him into a the jaws of the (mo) monster.
10 kms later and out of the water he sprang. 'Piece of p**s' he reckons.
In a flash - onto the bike.
His (now our) mate Nigel (what a weapon) had said the night before, "I'll help for maybe 70-90km" that sonuvabitch was there for the whole thing.
Over 10legs and a haematomad ass hole they slowly chipped away at the beast, joined at various points by Shane and cooper providing some much appreciated fresh legs.
From Taupo to Rangariri they chopped the monsters limbs off, with "only" a 50km run to go. The kill shot.
They set off into the darkness, joined by a crowd of Dans excited work mates who had turned up at 9pm to join the fight.
5km, Dan looks tired (...weird) 10km, very tired. 15km the legs are wobbly heading into the check point. A quick rest. That'll be it I think to myself, then up he gets - eyes bloodshot, legs like lead.
20km, Amanda's (Dan's fiance) face has gone from hope to worry. Not the 'im not sure if he can do this kind of worried' but 'im worried he's going to kill himself doing this' kind of worried.
23km - Dan's body is rejecting his nutrition and hydration, he's throwing up, that's bad. 25 km, shut it down, game over, Dan posts a video saying monster: 1, Dan: 0.
the Monster wins.... Or did it.
Here's the math:
The goal - 280km to beat the monster.
Dan's effort - 10km swim, 220km cycle, 25km run (255 total)
Vinnie - 10km swim
Nige - 220km cycle, 25km run
Shane - 70km cycle
Cooper - 90km cycle, 10km run
Amanda - 25km run
Uncle John and Nathan - 30km run each
Dan's work mates - approx 70km total
Total: approx 680km.
Total kms: 935
Much like men's mental (and physical) health, sometimes you can't and shouldn't face things alone.
This particular demon wasn't faced alone and as a result of Dan rallying his troops it was defeated many times over, not by a single force but by people united in slaying the Mo Monster.
I'm proud of you little brother, you achieved what you set out to do, just not in the way you intended.
Mo-monster: 0, Dan and co: 1
